Our very own Garfieldzar tested America so you don’t have to, and this is the verdict! You’re welcome.
Garfieldzars / Instagram
America loves believing it’s the final boss of the world.Stronger. Bigger. Better food. Better everything.
More especially, they believe they’re better than us. Cute man.
Well… a fellow South African has gone undercover (for vibes, not espionage) and returned with receipts.
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If you follow Luke Field (aka GarfieldZAR), you’ll know he recently visited the US.
Officially for fun, but unofficially? To report back to the group chat, and thank goodness he did.
After fully experiencing America, Luke ranked the top 3 ways South Africa is actually better.
Here’s what he found:
1. South African food klaps America
According to Luke’s very real, very lived experience, South African food is just… better.
American food? Too sweet, too fake and too “why does this burger taste like a candle?”
According to our agent, everything over there tastes like it’s been in a lab meeting.
Meanwhile in SA, one plate of pap, braai meat or a kota can change your entire outlook on life.
For us, food isn’t a luxury. It’s survival and we’re winning the Hunger Games.
2. SA weather actually makes sense
December in America is cold. Like… jacket, scarf, depression cold.
Luke spent December in the States expecting vibes and instead got layers. No beach or sunburn. Not even a “let’s braai at 4pm” vibe.
Meanwhile in South Africa, December means heat, beaches, road trips and pretending you’ll start gym in January (how’s that going by the way?)
YOH. Imagine a December without the ocean. Someone please see if time travel is an option… for Luke’s sake.
3. America has too much electricity
Now wait, before you throw tomatoes, hear us out.
Yes, electricity is great. We love it and we miss it when it’s gone. However, America takes it too far.
Their cities never sleep. With hundreds of billboards flashing 24/7 and lights everywhere, your eyes are tired just from existing.
Loadshedding, as painful as it is, at least forces us to rest. We still get to experience candles, silence and the stars.
Also, if we’re being honest, if SA had blinding lights everywhere at night, half the thieves would be out of business. That much visibility is bad for crime economics.
Could you imagine what that would do to our already shocking unemployment rate?
So… too much electricity isn’t always a win.
Check out Garfieldzar’s full review below:
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So… America might think they’re better at everything, but the stuff that actually matters? Not so much.
Food: We’re eating real things.
Weather: December is for sunshine, not sadness.
Electricity: Balance is important for the soul.
Yah neh… the US can keep their confidence and we’ll keep our flavour, our sun, and our perfectly imperfect power schedule.
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