There were some small pleasures. Fashionwise, these were the nicest sunglasses I\u2019ve ever owned. The little speakers were useful for audiobooks, and the tiny camera captured all kinds of images: the Empire State Building, a blizzard, my son eating a giant pretzel, an older couple holding hands on a sidewalk. When the A.I. successfully identified a John Donne quote (\u201cDo not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee\u201d), I felt a surge of fatherly pride. Once, a Cybertruck came rumbling toward me, and as I reached up to snap a picture with my glasses I felt that something momentous was about to happen \u2014 that this collision of two notoriously obnoxious technologies might rip a hole in the fabric of space-time and send confetti raining down, and we would all wake up in a new reality where everyone is kind and all leaders are competent and the world\u2019s abundant resources end up where they belong. Instead, the Cybertruck drove on. And my sunglasses were still on my face.<\/p>\n
Mostly, my glasses made me sad. Sometimes, people would notice the camera and recoil in horror, hiding their faces, like vampires sprinkled with holy water.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Meta,\u201d I said one day. \u201cTell me a joke.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did the baseball go to the doctor?\u201d they answered, and I prepared myself for a modest chuckle. Then the punchline came: \u201cIt had a little \u2018run\u2019 down in its batting average!\u201d<\/p>\n
I stood there, for longer than I should have, trying to figure out why that was funny, struggling to accept what I knew in my heart was true.<\/p>\n