{"id":88166,"date":"2026-06-27T16:20:32","date_gmt":"2026-06-27T16:20:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/88166\/"},"modified":"2026-06-27T16:20:32","modified_gmt":"2026-06-27T16:20:32","slug":"ai-photos-i-spied-on-my-boyfriends-chatgpt-history-im-shocked-by-what-he-did-to-images-of-our-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/88166\/","title":{"rendered":"AI photos: I spied on my boyfriend’s ChatGPT history. I’m shocked by what he did to images of our friends."},"content":{"rendered":"

Sign up for the Slatest<\/a> to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily.<\/p>\n

How to Do It is Slate\u2019s sex advice column.\u00a0Have a question?\u00a0Send it to Stoya and Rich here.<\/a>\u00a0It\u2019s anonymous!<\/p>\n

Dear How to Do It,<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been with my boyfriend for a year and things have been smooth sailing so far, with very little contention between us two. But about a week ago, he left his laptop open on the bed and I decided to take a look at his ChatGPT history. What I saw seriously made my skin crawl.<\/p>\n

Apparently, he\u2019d fed images of people in his life to the chat and created nude images of them, including a family friend that he once reassured me he saw like a \u201csister.\u201d Other people included some of our friends.<\/p>\n

I was disgusted and confronted him right away. He didn\u2019t have a good excuse but assured me he\u2019d stop and had just been curious about what it would look like. I frankly find this very disgusting and feel like he violated these people in our lives. Can we come back from this? And can I really trust he won\u2019t do this again? It\u2019s hard to throw away everything we had but I guess I\u2019m seeking validation that it\u2019s okay to walk away over this and it\u2019s as big a deal as I feel like it is.<\/p>\n

\u2014Can\u2019t Unsee It<\/p>\n

Dear Can\u2019t Unsee It,<\/p>\n

It\u2019s understandable that your discovery disgusted you. You encountered something extreme with no warning. It may have been a product of curiosity that is natural or otherwise uncontrollable\u2014the kind of curiosity that I think is forgivable. I\u2019m not a believer in thought crimes and our society is predicated not on the lack of impulses but the ability to control them. Taking things a step further to generate pictures is a bit more intentional than a reflexive or spontaneously generated thought, though. There\u2019s a will there that is concerning.<\/p>\n

However, I\u2019m not sure that the generation of such imagery is a violation, per se, in principle. I think if a violation did occur it pertains to the medium. If your boyfriend had sketched or painted pictures of these people, sure it would be disconcerting to encounter, and arguably creepy, but it\u2019s an extension of the fantasy that doesn\u2019t necessarily affect its subject. They might be put off if they were to find out about such images, but if they never did, their lives wouldn\u2019t be affected. The fantasizer would still have the fantasies, and the objects of fantasy would be none the wiser.<\/p>\n

The violation, as I see it, is uploading pictures of people to an LLM. Those pictures could be used to train the bot and they\u2019re vulnerable to a data breach<\/a>, which could put those pictures in the hands of someone who could manipulate them further and use them for deepfakes. It\u2019s an unlikely scenario\u2014for now\u2014but it\u2019s possible. There are ways to somewhat protect the images uploaded to the likes of ChatGPT, but options like turning off chat history in ChatGPT (so that conversations with the bot aren\u2019t used to train the system) are not the default and so require opting in. You don\u2019t know where the photos could possibly end up when you enter them into a LLM. Because the photos could end up in the wrong hands, strict respect would demand such imagery not be uploaded without the permission of those whom it depicts.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Son Did Something Unneighborly to the New Kid Next Door. He Got What He Deserved.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

There is a possibility that your boyfriend got carried away, and maybe since you brought your distaste to his attention, he\u2019ll change his ways. For the record, I don\u2019t think you should have been snooping, but I think it\u2019s actually a good sign that he did not try to make that an issue or use it as a way of exonerating himself. If he deflected by pointing out your breach of trust, it could signal that he wasn\u2019t taking your concerns seriously. You have no guarantees he won\u2019t do this again. You can\u2019t see the future, and trust amounts to pretending that you can. That doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s invalid or not worth extending to someone, just that it\u2019s a feeling with uncertainty at its root.<\/p>\n

Is this a fireable offense, as it were? It wouldn\u2019t be for me, but everyone has to find their own zone of comfort and dealbreaking deviations are inevitable. If you have such a good thing going, giving him another chance is probably the move. But if you are too distracted to continue the relationship or now see him in a way that is fundamentally different than when you started the relationship (slash presumably fell in love with him), walking away is a completely valid choice.<\/p>\n

\u2014Rich<\/p>\n

More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

For a long time, I had an ongoing casual hookup with a guy who was by far the best sex I\u2019ve ever had. The chemistry was unbelievable, he was super fun and generous in bed, but also a selfish asshole out of it. I got burned him multiple times and complained about it, but it didn\u2019t change, so we parted ways. Now he wants to try dating me\u2014but I fear it\u2019s only because I\u2019ve written him off. I really love having sex with him, but I\u2019m scared he\u2019ll break my heart. What\u2019s a girl to do?<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":88167,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[16638,580,157,44255,46830],"class_list":["post-88166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-openai","tag-advice","tag-chatgpt","tag-openai","tag-sex","tag-slate-plus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=88166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/88166\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/88167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=88166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=88166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ai\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=88166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}