For seven weeks a group of women have been heading down to a popular Melbourne beach, not to lay on the sand or run along the Bay Trail, but to duck into the sailing club after dark and learn how to fight back against an attacker.
They are women of all ages, strangers to each other, with one thing in common: wanting to feel more confident in a world where 45 of us have already been killed by violence this year.
As a journalist, I am exposed to the atrocities committed against women almost every day.
I had been wanting to do a self-defence course for years, but it had become one of those activities I would sometime in the future eventually sign up for.
The idea came to mind again when I was chatting to a friend about wanting to do some of those things I’d always talked about (but never actioned) before I turn 30.
It felt like a sign when just a couple of weeks later, I received an unexpected message on Instagram from Melbourne Hapkido – who I had inquired with years earlier – about a women’s self-defence course beginning in July.
Now, my only regret is not having done it earlier.
I, along with a group of women who had no experience in martial arts two months ago, now know how to escape hair pulls, wrist holds, headlocks, bear hugs, being pinned down, and even how to best protect ourselves during a knife attack.
I was surprised to learn a lot of the escape techniques require you do something that would not come naturally – getting closer to the aggressor, rather than pulling away.
We can also do some serious damage to an attacker if our survival depends on it – even if we are physically weaker. Importantly, many of the techniques do not rely on strength.
I was halfway through the course when four women were killed in a matter of days.
A 17-year-old Yolŋu girl died in a remote Northern Territory community on July 6. A 34-year-old man was charged with her murder.
The next day, Lavanya Chappa, 39, a mother-of-two, was found stabbed to death in her home in Melbourne. Her husband was charged with her murder.
Two days later, Layla Jeffery, 13, who had been missing was found dead in Victorian bushland. A 16-year-old boy was charged with her murder.
To end the horrific week, Jana Armstrong, 30, a missing mum was found dead in Queensland bushland. Her former partner was charged with her murder.
While I write this on the final day of the course, a woman has been found dead in Queensland and her 37-year-old ex-partner was charged with her murder, a 24-year-old man has been charged with assaulting and kidnapping a woman and child in NSW, and a 24-year-old man has complained his sentence is too long after being jailed for the sexual penetration of a 14-year-old girl in Victoria.
Learning hapkido, I have been empowered and feel more confident than I did seven weeks ago, but it is a sad reason women’s self-defence classes need to exist at all.
Two in five women have experienced violence since the age of 15, one in five women have experienced sexual violence, one in three have experienced physical violence, and one in five have experienced stalking, according to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics.
Even at home, not all women are safe.
One in four women in Australia have experienced violence by an intimate partner or family member since the age of 15.
The terrifying statistics prompted Melbourne Hapkido black belt instructor Andrew Brownrigg to start running women’s self-defence courses, which he has done off-and-on for about a decade.
Mr Brownrigg knows it can be intimidating to join a martial arts club and wanted to make women feel more comfortable in signing up to train.
He has trained with women who have experienced violence and trauma who want to not only learn how to protect themselves but regain self-confidence, and also women who are training as a preventive measure.
Surprisingly, one of my most vital learnings from the course was not physical at all. It was permission to be loud and physical when threatened.
It may seem like common sense but women are often afraid to “cause a scene” or overact because it makes others feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
But Mr Brownrigg tells his classes if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to ask for and make space – good people will accept that and if they don’t, your gut instinct was right.
If someone lays hands on you, he stresses, they do not have your best interests in mind. You do not need to be polite and wait for the worst before you take action to protect yourself.
He says his favourite part of the course is seeing women come in on week one with quiet voices that soon “become a roar”.
It is not often you undertake a course and then hope you never have to use the skills learnt. However, it could one day save my and my fellow participants’ lives. It could end up being the best $166 I ever spend.
I would love to see these kinds of courses supported by governments and offered to young women at schools, universities and local community centres across the country.
If you’ve ever thought about signing up to a women’s self-defence course, please take this as your sign to do it.
Read related topics:Melbourne