The Sydney top-end private school scene is so competitive that couples call the registrar before their parents the moment there\u2019s a heartbeat on an ultrasound.<\/p>\n
If Melbourne\u2019s private school mums are OM (Old Money), Sydney\u2019s are NM (New Money).<\/p>\n
Sydney has two enclaves offering a rich, leafy habitat for the private school mum: the east and the north. <\/p>\n
The east boasts Scots College, Sydney Grammar and Cranbrook for boys and Ascham, SCEGGS Darlinghurst, Kambala, Kincoppal and St Catherine\u2019s for girls.<\/p>\n
The 700-seat Packer Theatre at Ascham (Gretel was a pupil) has acoustics as good as the Sydney Opera House. Yes, of course it does.<\/p>\n
Eastern suburban mums are identifiable by their activewear \u2013 LSKD and Nimble are current faves. Aje Athletica indicates a husband at CFO status or above and Nagnata suggests you holiday in Byron Bay where you have a beach house or stay at Raes. Even people who don\u2019t stay at Raes post about being there so other people think they stayed there. If you don\u2019t know what Raes is, you probably don\u2019t belong here. <\/p>\n
In the north, Shore, Knox, Riverview and St Aloysius draw the boys while Wenona, Ravenswood, Abbotsleigh, Pymble Ladies College (PLC) and Queenwood draw the girls. The latter has its own swimming pool despite being just 50m from Balmoral Beach. The Sydney private school mum approves of such largesse.<\/p>\n
Co-eds are Redlands, Barker and St Andrews\u2019. <\/p>\n
There\u2019s also Newington; the unseemly public facas over the school\u2019s decision to go co-ed hasn\u2019t dimmed its reputation. The Sydney private school mum knows that when she pays $27,000 a year for prep, she is purchasing more than an education \u2013 she\u2019s buying her son Jonty a Minter Ellison internship in 13 years\u2019 time.<\/p>\n
Eastern suburbs mums have a housekeeper; North Shore mums buy their food from Dinner Ladies – not that the Bellevue Hill and Double Bay set have to eat anymore since the advent of GLP1 drugs.<\/p>\n
Regardless of geography, the biggest topic of conversation is when the pill version of Wegovy will get TGA approval in Australia. With the tablets dropping in the UK this month, those on their Euro summers are wangling a prescription as we speak.<\/p>\n
One local Botox and filler provider now appears on the Sydney private school mum\u2019s customer\u2019s credit card bills as \u201cwellbeing services\u201d so as not to alert her husband. <\/p>\n
Earlier this year when mums of Sydney were posting in response to the viral: \u201cMum, what were you like in the 90s?\u201d trend, nobody could tell the difference between these women\u2019s current and 30-year-old pics. <\/p>\n
The Sydney private school mum is married to a medical specialist (something obscure with seismic gap fees) or a corporate lawyer earning close to a mill before bonuses.<\/p>\n
But she\u2019s no professional slouch herself \u2013 Sydney private school fees are so high it takes two hefty incomes and a welcome boost from the family trust to make ends meet (and still make it to Aspen every January). <\/p>\n
She works as an arts administrator, marketing exec, book publisher or lawyer, and hasn\u2019t been further south in Sydney than the airport since 1989. <\/p>\n
Overheard at one SCEGGS pick-up: \u201cThe south coast is a viable getaway now we can stop at Rick\u2019s (Stein) in Mollymook and Justin\u2019s (Hemmes) in Narooma. Before it was just those horrible RSLs.\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh yes, our private school mum is a hardworking glamorous creature, rising at dawn to squeeze in a pilates class before doing double drop-off before making it to a speaking engagement at a UNHCR women\u2019s rights breakfast by 9am. <\/p>\n
She has a pool at home, a holiday house in Pearl Beach, a farm in the Blue Mountains and still manages to enjoy not just a Euro Summer, but a northern one as well. <\/p>\n
Right now she and her gal pals are scattered across St Tropez, Puglia, Majorca and, if cash-strapped, Portugal <\/p>\n
As she will tell anyone who feigns interest: \u201cWe take a villa\u201d. She will also humble-brag about her travel mode: \u201cOh it\u2019s so embarrassing but Cordelia and Harry couldn\u2019t work out how to use the plastic cutlery as they\u2019d never flown economy before!\u201d<\/p>\n
She does school runs in a Porsche Cayenne or late-model Range Rover Defender with onyx and ivory styling. Her husband, however, drives an electric Porsche Taycan \u2013 partly for the environment, mostly so the family can still make it to Kilkare during the next fuel crisis. <\/p>\n
The Sydney private school mum is currently buying up one-bed flats in Coogee and Elizabeth Bay: \u201cI mean, it\u2019s not Bellevue Hill but it\u2019s a good starter for Amelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her favourite hangs include Indigo, Bake Bar, White Rabbit and Matteo in Double Bay where they only order long blacks and, for dinner, Neil Perry\u2019s Margaret and Justin Hemmes\u2019 Totti\u2019s for the burrata and kingfish crudo. Iggy\u2019s sourdough is legendary \u2013 not that she eats it. There\u2019s always Solare the super yacht for a milestone birthday. <\/p>\n
She and her friends will debate the exquisite agonies of private schooling: Should they opt for Newington, St Andrew\u2019s or Trinity? Monte or Loreto?<\/p>\n
Ascham or SCEGGS?<\/p>\n
To get ready for a big night the Sydney private school mum will pop into Moda Blu and Carla Zampatti in Double Bay, Aquel on Queen St Woollahra or Parlour X on Oxford St.<\/p>\n
She will steer clear of the Golden Sheaf in Double Bay and The Oaks in Neutral Bay which are the top drinking spots for Year 12s. Bouncers can spot private school kids\u2019 fake IDs because they\u2019re all called Sebastian, Toby, Harriet or Arthur. <\/p>\n
Some private school mums have escaped Sydney for the \u2018quiet life\u2019 in the nation\u2019s capital \u2013 only to help her husband\u2019s chance of a foreign diplomatic posting. She will live in an original suburb and only cross the lake if the school drop-off necessitates it.<\/p>\n
Her kids will go to one of the Canberra Grammar schools, and she\u2019ll make sure everyone knows without her having to tell them. <\/p>\n
Or she\u2019ll brave the Belconnen drop-off at Radford College, where she\u2019ll convince herself it\u2019s all about the community, not the fact that Nick Kyrgios is an old boy.<\/p>\n
Idols: Sally Obermeder, Edwina Bartholemew, Terry Biviano, Angela Mollard, Krissy Marsh, Phoebe Burgess, Pip Edwards, Hollie Nasser, Nadia Fairfax, Dina Broadhurst.<\/p>\n
Thanks to Zara Wong, who can be found at the Substack Screenshot This, for the field guide inspo, although we\u2019ve compiled our own version. <\/p>\n
As Wong puts it, \u201cThis is all fictionalised so if you recognise yourself, that\u2019s purely by coincidence\u201d. <\/p>\n
Have we nailed it or failed it? Leave a comment below or email us at education@news.com.au <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The Sydney top-end private school scene is so competitive that couples call the registrar before their parents 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