David Cowling took his own life just days before Christmas
David Cowling was just 31 years old when he took his own life
A dad who served in the armed forces for 13 years took his own life days before Christmas, after hiding his struggles from his family. David Cowling, who was described as the “life and soul of the party” by his stepdad, joined the Mercian regiment of the British Army at the age of 17.
He served for 13 years and was a personal trainer and a driver while serving in the army. He did two tours of Afghanistan and spent time in Kenya as part of the UN peacekeeping force before he left the army two years ago to spend time with his two children – Nyla, five, and Rome who is now five months old.
David’s stepdad, Keith Christian, told the ECHO how David, from Woodchurch, struggled finding full-time employment and was taken on as a trainee plasterer shortly before his death. However, due to his self-employed status, he would have gone without pay for three weeks over Christmas.
Keith, who himself served for seven years in the RAF, believes his stepson, who leaves behind his children and fiancée Kelly, may have also struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of his service.
The 63-year-old told the ECHO: “In the lead up to him dying, none of the family saw it. Not his sisters, not his partner, not his mum.
Mental health support
Helplines and support groups
The following are helplines and support networks for people to talk to, mostly listed on the NHS Choices website
Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.PANDAS (0808 1961 776) runs a free helpline and offers a support service for people who may be suffering with perinatal mental illness, including prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression plus support for their family or network.Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.Amparo provides emotional and practical support for anyone who has been affected by a suicide. This includes dealing with police and coroners; helping with media enquiries; preparing for and attending an inquest and helping to access other, appropriate, local support services. Call 0330 088 9255 or visit www.amparo.org.uk for more details.Hub of Hope is the UK’s most comprehensive national mental health support database. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text SHOUT to 85258 to find relevant services near you.Young Persons Advisory Service – Providing mental health and emotional wellbeing services for Liverpool’s children, young people and families. tel: 0151 707 1025 email: support@ypas.org.ukPaul’s Place – providing free counselling and group sessions to anyone living in Merseyside who has lost a family member or friend to suicide. Tel: 0151 226 0696 or email: paulsplace@beaconcounsellingtrust.co.ukThe Martin Gallier Project – offering face to face support for individuals considering suicide and their families. Opening hours 9.30-16.30, 7 days a week. Tel: 0151 644 0294 email: triage@gallierhouse.co.ukJames’ Place – supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/
“He wanted a full-time job but he struggled to get one and unfortunately he struggled with his every day life and I think it got him down.
“Apparently he was talking with the lads in the army about going back into the army for the regime and routine where you’re looked after.”
David was found on December 20 at his home after taking his life the day before.
Keith continued: “The best way of describing David is he was the life and soul of the party. If someone was down, he’d get them back up.
David Cowling served in the army for 13 years
“He was the type of person who was full of life. His life was based around his kids and his partner. They were literally his life.
“His nieces and nephews thought the world of him. Everybody liked him. Just to show how well thought of he was, the lads in the army came down from Scotland for his funeral and travelled back home the next day.
“He had an impact on everyone he met. It’s devastating and Chrismas is never going to be the same for us.”
Keith and David’s mum, Pauline Allen, are calling for the government to do more for veterans once they leave the armed forces.
While David became a qualified personal trainer as well as gaining his ADR licence which allowed him to carry dangerous goods by the road, it was his lack of experience which meant he struggled to gain employment, Keith told the ECHO.
A Ministry of Defence spokesperson said: “Any death by suicide is a tragedy, and our deepest condolences go to David’s family and loved ones. We are committed to renewing the contract with those who serve, have served, and their families – ensuring they receive the support they need not just during service, but as they transition to civilian life and beyond.
“All service leavers receive structured resettlement support, including career advice, skills training, and employment pathways through the Career Transition Partnership.
“Op COURAGE provides specialist NHS mental health care to veterans, service leavers, reservists and their families. Our new VALOUR programme will improve coordination of veteran support at national, regional and local level – ensuring no one falls through the gaps.”
Keith and David had previously discussed going on a charity motorbike ride, and Keith has now completed a non-stop drive for Help For Heroes from The Tap in Eastham up to Scotland before travelling the along the NC500 before riding back to the Wirral on Saturday, April 18, evening.
You can donate to Keith’s fundraiser.
Speaking ahead of the challenge, Keith said: “David would do anything for anyone, and he was known by his colleagues as someone who could boost the morale of other people if they were down. But he got no support from the army when he needed it.
“This has got to change. Suicide among people who served is a problem, and it’s got to be talked about.”
Help for Heroes champions the Armed Forces community and helps people live well after service. The Charity supports veterans and their families with their physical and mental health, as well as welfare and social needs. It has already supported tens of thousands – and won’t stop until every veteran gets the support they deserve.
The Ministry of Defence further outlines how its policy is mental ill-health should be properly recognised and appropriately handled and that every effort should be made to reduce any associated stigma.
It further acknowledged mental ill-health can be a serious and debilitating condition. All service personnel leaving the armed forces are also required to undergo a structured mental health assessment.
The Armed Forces Suicide Prevention Strategy and Action Plan is in place to enhance the MoD’s commitment to reduce suicide and better support those affected by it.
The MoD told the ECHO it also ooperates a national network of case managers across the UK to provide tailored support for those who need it.
It continued to say how the government is investing more than £25 million each year into Operation Courage: The Veterans Mental Health and Wellbeing Service, a NHS England mental health specialist service designed to help serving personnel due to leave the military, reservists, armed forces and veterans. Operation Courage has received more than 35,000 referrals.