Around half a million people leave the UK to live abroad each year. A survey by the British Council showed 72 per cent of 18 to 30-year-olds would consider living and working overseas, with cold weather, the high cost of living, extortionate childcare, a lack of work-life balance and even poor romantic prospects among their motivations for leaving the country. The i Paper’s Expat Files follows Brits who have taken the leap and settled elsewhere, detailing the ups and downs of their journeys.
Rosemary White, 68, a retired garden designer, left her home in London to live in Italy. Here, she tells Silvia Marchetti why her Italian dream was nothing like she hoped.
When I tell my friends that Italy just did not turn out to be my ideal place, they can hardly believe me. “Rosemary you’re mad! The dolce vita, the ice cream, the sun, the pizza, the views, how can you not fit in?” they exclaim.
The truth is, my Italian relocation dream was a failure.
It’s one thing visiting Italy as a tourist, another actually living there. One starts to see beyond the fantastic architecture, the laid-back vibe and all the beauty. You learn to see through the eyes of a local and it’s not all shiny.
I have Italian heritage – my mother hailed from Piedmont – though I was born in London. I don’t speak Italian fluently, but perhaps having an Italian background made me more aware of the country’s problems.
I decided to relocate to Rome five years ago, after my dear husband passed away. I’d retired as a garden designer, we don’t have children, and I wanted to turn a page. I was spending my days in London mostly at home reading books, not going out much.
We had always enjoyed our Roman holidays so I thought Rome was a natural choice – I have a few friends there and two distant relatives.
I rented a two-bedroom apartment near Piazza Barberini, a stone’s throw from the Spanish Steps, for barely €1,200 (£1,038) per month – very affordable considering the location and the panoramic view.
I spent my days in Rome walking around the city, visiting museums, going to the fresh produce markets, taking in the views, the archaeology and savouring the delicious food at no-frill taverns on warm evenings.
The cost of living was very low compared to London – I would spend about €40 a week for groceries, and I ate out three times a week, spending €20 for a two-course dinner and €10 for a quick lunch. Of course, the quality of the food was significantly better.
But the Eternal City turned out to be too chaotic for me. The overtourism is hellish – it is swarming with just too many loud tourists year-round. It is a much smaller city than London and cannot cope with the numbers. There were days I could barely walk the centro storico or go shopping without bumping into silly teenagers taking selfies. Rome’s subways, in my view, are inefficient. After a lifetime’s work and my husband’s death, I was craving peacefulness, and the wild rhythm of life didn’t suit me.
One day, about a year and a half ago, I was having an espresso with some American friends I had in the capital. They were telling me that Milan is a totally different city where you can expect a lot of efficiency in public services and transport, even if it’s less beautiful and more rainy.
I decided to give it a go. Milan is the capital of fashion and of finance – I wondered if it could be a better fit for me. I rented a one bedroom apartment near the Duomo for which I am currently paying €1,500 per month, a bit more than in Rome, but still less than what I would pay in London.
My place is very central, and everything here in Milan works just perfectly. The buses run on time, the trains are super fast and I was amazed to find that there were more subway lines than Rome.
I’ve traveled a lot around the city and the region, going skiing and visiting nearby countries like Switzerland, Croatia and Slovenia. However, I have found the city to be very cold, and not just in terms of weather. I had a really hard time making friends – even among the expat community. I had picked up some Italian while in Rome, and I was getting better at the language, but found the Milanese to be very distant.
Everyone is always rushing around, the Milanese all seem to be workaholics and are constantly looking at their phone. I didn’t want to re-live the rat race now that I’m retired. I started feeling lonely, and am missing my sister in London and my friends.
So, I’ve decided to return to London next month, ending my Milan rental contract ahead of time.
Perhaps I have been unlucky or have made a mistake in picking Italy’s two largest cities. Had I moved to more authentic, uncrowded and pristine places in the south it would have probably been more fulfilling. But I was tired of moving around – and I had left my London home empty, so it feels like time to come back. I realised that social ties are more important than the actual place you live in, that it’s the people who make it feel like home.