One week into the Air Quality Alert, wrought by our Canadian neighbors’ inability to adequately manage their timberland.

But unless and until that happens, we’re smothered by smoke saturating our atmosphere here in the States – again. May I suggest a reworking of Canada’s musical catalog as a soundtrack to a perfect summer week lost to the blotting out of our temperate sun and the suffocating noxiousness of woodsmoke? No Celine Dion, I promise you.

Let us begin Side One with Corey Hart, whose 1983 hit should be rewritten so that it only seems he’s wearing sunglasses at night when it’s actually high noon, and the sun appears like a faint orange wisp in the sky.

Then there’s the Guess Who’s “These Eyes,” eyesight blurred not because Burton Cummings cries every night for an unnamed “you,” but, instead, uncontrollably weeps from intense eye irritation. That “aching in my heart,” Gordon Lightfoot sang about in “Early Morning Rain,” could easily have been an early warning sign of COPD brought about by the Rush of atmospheric contaminants.

And Leonard Cohen’s “Suzanne” is now long overdue for her latest shipment of “tea and oranges that come all the way from China,” due to the difficulty of navigating blindly through the merciless fumes. The “yellow curtains” of Joni Mitchell’s “Chelsea Morning” are actually white but dulled by Canadian forestry incompetence, and the “light pouring in like butterscotch” is as thick and sticky on the lungs as it is the eyes.

Bachman Turner Overdrive have turned the giddy anticipation of their original into an anguished lament that “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet,” because, yeah, you guessed it. The sun never goes down on Martha and the Muffin’s “Echo Beach,” but is instead obscured by clouds of noxious smoke.

And that closes Side 1 of our Canadian rewrite compilation of their flame and smoke invasion of our fair summer land.

Side Two’s opening track features Rush. In the power trio’s revised “A Passage to Bangkok,” a simple tweak renders “Wreathed in smoke in Lebanon/We burn the midnight oil” to “Wreathed in smoke from Ontario/We turn to midnight world.” Because it’s dark, get it?

And what’s a Canadian compilation without perhaps the country’s greatest musical export, Neil Young? Ol’ Shakey has many songs adaptable to our Summer of Smoke theme, but I’ve settled on an unheralded classic from his Buffalo Springfield daze, “On the Way Home.” If Blind Faith were a Canadian band, I would’ve selected “Can’t Find My Way Home,” but they’re not, so “On the Way Home” it is. “When the dream came/I held my breath with my eyes closed/I went insane/Like a smoke ring fading when the wind blows” requires very little editing to squeeze its way onto our asthma-induced LP.

Always seeking controversy, Alanis Morissette sings “Hand in My Pocket” while emphasizing that the other is flicking the cigarette that could have caused the whole combustion of more than 16 million acres of Canadian forest. Isn’t it ironic that she was forced to postpone her Soaring Eagle concert last weekend due to the smoke?

The Cowboy Junkies climb aboard the mea culpa train with “Speaking Confidentially,” not even bothering to change “The fire that burnt inside of me/Has turned to ash the tortured tree/That grows beside the anguished sea.”

Canadian-born smoke show Shania Twain sings about her birth country, “We got something they don’t/A fire burning deep in our bones/Smokin’ far, far away/On fire when we get home” on her revamp of her 2017 hit.

Thus endeth Side Two.

Canadian wildfire smoke has become as common – but far less welcome – as swallows returning to Capistrano. It would certainly be appreciated if our negligent neighbor (mostly) to the north actually solved the problem instead of blaming the climate change boogeyman.

Only you, Canada, can prevent your own forest fires.

Bruce Edward Walker (walker.editorial@gmail.com) is a Morning Sun columnist.