{"id":126692,"date":"2026-07-12T14:12:10","date_gmt":"2026-07-12T14:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/126692\/"},"modified":"2026-07-12T14:12:10","modified_gmt":"2026-07-12T14:12:10","slug":"5-unexpected-retirement-relationship-pitfalls-canadian-couples-face-and-how-to-fix-them-before-you-exit-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/126692\/","title":{"rendered":"5 unexpected retirement relationship pitfalls Canadian couples face \u2014 and how to fix them before you exit work"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Senior<\/a> Senior couple sharing breakfast in their modern kitchen, discussing their worries and challenges while sipping coffee and tea together <\/p>\n

You’ve done the hard work and the math. You and your partner have saved for decades and are finally ready to leave your careers. It should be a reason to celebrate \u2014 until you realize you both have very different ideas of what your sunset years should look like. <\/p>\n

That’s what happened to Marnie Wraith. After building a life with her partner in Meaford, Ontario \u2014 complete with a shared home and years of travel behind them \u2014 she felt something was missing. “I needed a recalibration of my life based just on my needs,” she told CBC’s The Current (1). Wraith is going through what family therapists call a “grey divorce” \u2014 a split that happens after age fifty. <\/p>\n

And it’s more common than many realize. Grey divorces rose 26% between 1991 and 2006 but have remained quite stable since, according to Statistics Canada (2). Andrew Sofin, president of the Canadian Association for Couple and Family Therapy, told The Current that people tend to feel less sure of themselves as they age, which can bring old cracks in a marriage to the surface. <\/p>\n

Not every marriage will end in divorce. But the data points to how tricky retirement can be for couples once they realize exactly how much unstructured time they’ll share. <\/p>\n

“Retirement is likely to reshape your sense of identity, routines, financial stability, and relationship dynamics at the same time,” Dr. Robert Davies, a board-certified psychiatrist, told Moneywise<\/a>. “Many couples plan financially for retirement; however, many fail to make provisions for emotional readiness.” <\/p>\n

Research has identified five common problems couples face when they retire together, and here’s what therapists say you can do about them. <\/p>\n

Don’t Miss 1. Loss of confidence and identity <\/p>\n

After working 40-plus hours a week for decades \u2014 either for yourself or for an employer \u2014 work becomes part of who you are. It’s common for a chunk of someone’s self-worth to be tied to a job title. <\/p>\n

“Retirement can take away much of what gives a person’s life structure, purpose and recognition,” Davies said. “As many people find out after retiring, we tend to identify with our careers far more than we realize.” <\/p>\n

The fix, Davies said, is to build identity through activities that bring satisfaction before you retire \u2014 hobbies, volunteering, mentoring or close friendships \u2014 so you aren’t left feeling lost the day you no longer have to report to a job. <\/p>\n

Make your cash work harder. You can’t control inflation, rates or market swings \u2014 but you can control where your cash sits. Compare high-interest savings accounts<\/a> to keep your money working for you. Find the right HISA account<\/a> <\/p>\n

2. Too much time together <\/p>\n

As stressful as work can be, a job also creates a sense of individuality and gives couples time apart. <\/p>\n

“There’s often a fantasy that couples who get to spend more time together will be happier \u2014 but this idea often misses the important role that work offers in terms of creating a much-needed sense of autonomy,” Dr. Navvab Tadjvar, a clinical psychologist, also told Moneywise. <\/p>\n

Without that distance, couples can feel suffocated. Mary McLaughlin, a licensed clinical social worker and couples therapist, agrees that even healthy marriages can struggle to adjust to retirement, because people underestimate how different it feels to share the same space all day. <\/p>\n

“You lose privacy, quiet time and the freedom to move through the day without considering another person’s schedule, needs, or habits,” she said. <\/p>\n

Read more: 3 essential money moves to make once you’ve saved $50,000<\/a> <\/p>\n

3. Anxiety over finances <\/p>\n

Living on a fixed income is a challenge unless both partners agree on budgeting and financial priorities \u2014 and for many Canadians, that agreement is hard to reach. Sixty-one percent of Canadians fear running out of money in retirement, and almost six in 10 say they feel financial stress every day, according to a CPP Investments survey (3). <\/p>\n

Canadians now believe they need $1.7 million, on average, to retire comfortably \u2014 up from $1.54 million the year before \u2014 and more than one-third say they’re unlikely to reach that goal, according to the BMO 2026 Annual Retirement Survey (4). <\/p>\n

In fact, 17% of couples say their financial situation has led them to consider separating from or divorcing a partner, according to a survey from Money Mentors (5). Additionally, 25% of surveyed couples admitted that financial matters have negatively impacted either their dating or married lives. <\/p>\n

“The true emotional cause of these money disputes often lies in a sense of security; one person sees money as an opportunity for freedom, and the other person views it as a means to protect themselves from future risks,” said Stacey Sheller, a licensed marriage and family therapist, in comments to Moneywise. <\/p>\n

If partners don’t explore what really drives their views on money, “all they will be doing is battling with numbers rather than resolving the real issues at hand,” she said. <\/p>\n

One place to start: Figure out how your Canada Pension Plan<\/a> (CPP) and Old Age Security (OAS) payments fit into your household income, and decide together when to start collecting each. Deferring CPP past age 65 adds 8.4% a year, up to a maximum of 42% more at age 70, according to the Government of Canada (6) \u2014 a decision that affects both partners and should be made together rather than individually. <\/p>\n

Similarly, deferring your OAS (7) until age 70 offers a similar cushion: It permanently increases your payments by 0.6% for every month you delay \u2014 or 7.2% annually \u2014 up to 36%. These two payments combined can cover a significant life expense every month. <\/p>\n

4. Relocation regrets <\/p>\n

When Canadian couples retire, some consider selling the family home to travel more, downsize or lower their monthly bills. But what they give up in return \u2014 friendships, family and community \u2014 may cost more than they expect. <\/p>\n

Nearly half of Canadians approaching retirement, 46%, plan to downsize their home within two years of leaving work, while 47% say they won’t, according to a 2025 Royal LePage survey (8) conducted by Leger. Additionally, 41% of working homeowners are counting on their home’s sale to help fund retirement, according to a Healthcare of Ontario Pension Plan (HOOPP) survey (9). <\/p>\n

There’s one upside for Canadian homeowners: Under the principal residence exemption (10), the entire capital gain on the sale of a home that served as your primary home for every year you owned it is exempt from tax, with no dollar cap, according to the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA). That’s a meaningful advantage over other investments, where only half of a capital gain is taxable. <\/p>\n

Sheller said couples need to weigh the cost of living against how much support a new community offers for building relationships and staying socially connected, since that ultimately affects emotional well-being. <\/p>\n

One tip: Try renting a new place for a few months before committing. If you like it, you can look into buying. <\/p>\n

5. Mismatched travel desires <\/p>\n

While couples can spend years planning the financial side of retirement, few discuss what day-to-day life will actually look like once they get there. <\/p>\n

One partner may want to travel for months at a time, while the other imagines a quieter life at home with frequent visits from family. Both are valid, but they call for open communication and compromise. Health matters too \u2014 one partner’s condition may limit how much they can travel even if they want to. <\/p>\n

“The goal isn’t to want the same things; it’s to create a lifestyle that honours both people’s visions of what retirement should look like,” Sheller said. “A successful retirement isn’t about finding two people with identical dreams. It’s about creating a life where both people’s dreams have room to thrive.” <\/p>\n

Next steps for Canadian couples <\/p>\n

A financially sound retirement plan isn’t the same as an emotionally sound one. Before your last day of work, consider these steps. <\/p>\n

Talk about your day-to-day routine \u2014 not just your finances \u2014 well before your last day of work <\/p>\n

Spend a few consecutive days together at home the way you would in retirement, with no outside obligations as a practice run <\/p>\n

Meet with a fee-for-service Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to map out CPP and OAS timing, Registered Retirement Savings Plan<\/a> (RRSP) or Registered Retirement Income Fund<\/a> (RRIF) withdrawals and any tax-bracket surprises <\/p>\n

Before relocating, find a rental in the new community first to decide how a sale could affect your principal residence exemption <\/p>\n

If a split feels possible, remember that property division rules vary by province (11) \u2014 in Alberta, British Columbia and Ontario, for example, net family property is generally equalized \u2014 so speak with a family lawyer and a financial advisor before dividing pensions, RRSPs or a home <\/p>\n

What To Read Next <\/p>\n

The most expensive financial mistakes are often the ones you don’t see coming. Join 19,000+ Canadians who get the money moves, risks and opportunities shaping their finances \u2014 delivered free each week. Subscribe now.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Article Sources <\/p>\n

We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our ethics and guidelines<\/a>. <\/p>\n

CBC\/Radio-Canada (1<\/a>); Department of Justice Canada (2<\/a>); Canada Pension Plan Investment Board (3<\/a>); BMO Financial Group (4<\/a>); Money Mentors (5<\/a>); Government of Canada (6<\/a>), (7<\/a>), (10<\/a>); Newswire (8<\/a>); HOOPP (9<\/a>); Divorce Path (11<\/a>) <\/p>\n

This article originally appeared on Money.ca<\/a> under the title: 5 unexpected retirement relationship pitfalls Canadian couples face \u2014 and how to fix them before you exit work<\/a> <\/p>\n

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Senior couple sharing breakfast in their modern kitchen, discussing their worries and challenges while sipping coffee and tea…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":126693,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[17,817,42353,42355,3126,28491,42352,42354,42356,1672],"class_list":["post-126692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-canada","tag-canada","tag-canadians","tag-family-therapists","tag-moneywise","tag-retirement","tag-retirement-plan","tag-robert-davies","tag-sense-of-identity","tag-stacey-sheller","tag-statistics-canada"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=126692"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126692\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/126693"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=126692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=126692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/canada\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=126692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}