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Credit: Andy Parant<\/p>\nCredit: Andy Parant<\/p>\n
EARLY in the last decade Ricky Gervais sent his gormless pal around the world with a suitcase full of Monster Munch and a head full of cotton wool for An Idiot Abroad.<\/p>\n
I felt just as out-of-place as poor Karl Pilkington as I ventured to the Savoie area of the French Alps for my own tribute act that you might call An Idiot on a Board.<\/p>\n
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La Toussuire is the picture perfect Alpine ski resortCredit: \u00a9andyparant.com<\/p>\n
Mark hadn\u2019t been on a board since 2020Credit: <\/p>\n
My snowboarding skills are best described as enthusiastic but sporadic. A cross between Big Foot and Bambi.<\/p>\n
Following my late arrival in the charming Alpine town of La Toussuire in the ski resort of Les Sybelles, I was whisked straight to Chez Marcel and Fonsine, a superior joint specialising in steak, wine and cheese.<\/p>\n
The excellent wine was poured from a very elaborate carafe and after a starter of cheese and a bottomless basket of bread, it was on to the beef trolley with a bewildering selection of cuts and nationalities.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll have that one,\u201d came my uncultured response pointing at the most appealing chunk which turned out to be an excellent cut of Wagyu.<\/p>\n
\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t WI-FLY<\/p>\n I road-tested United Airlines’ free Starklink wifi \u2014 it\u2019s a total game changer<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t<\/a> \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t LUXE LIFE<\/p>\n Five-star hotel within stunning Scots castle expanding with luxury accommodation<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n It was whisked straight to the flaming oven where owner Yannick Bouttaz, 48, was standing with his shovel and laser thermometer searching for the optimum location to sear my beef.<\/p>\n Whisked straight to Chez Marcel and Fonsine for dinnerCredit: <\/p>\n It emerged perfectly browned descending a deep red inside, served with potato dauphinois, a few strips of artichoke, mushrooms and a dollop of pesto.<\/p>\n Then I was up with the birds in the morning, still digesting my beef and feeling a bit woozy from the wine, as I headed off for my first catch-up lesson.<\/p>\n My last time on the slopes was February 2020, on the cusp of the pandemic<\/a>.<\/p>\n My teacher Aur\u00e9lie Hanotel, 31, was very patient in contrast to some ski instructors I\u2019ve encountered who had the demeanour of an army drill instructor.<\/p>\n Snowboard technology has also advanced since my last time on the slopes and I was very impressed with the new step-on bindings pioneered by Burton around the time I last boarded.<\/p>\n Mark was staying in the Les Sybelles areaCredit: Andy Parant<\/p>\n No more hunching over fiddling with toe straps with frostbitten fingers. Just step-click-and-glide. In theory, at least.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just like riding a bike,\u201d said Aur\u00e9lie as I stared in horror at the interminable button tow, the first hurdle for many snow<\/a> sport novices.<\/p>\n I fully expected to faceplant uphill but I was pleasantly surprised to find Aur\u00e9lie was right as some long-forgotten muscle memory kicked in.<\/p>\n I sailed up the button tow and glided almost effortlessly down the green and blue slopes. Getting a bit cocky, I joked I\u2019d be doing backflips by the end of the two-day trip. I hadn\u2019t counted on my ageing pins though. The spirit was willing but the legs were weak.<\/p>\n Chalet-Hotel Les Beausoleil has perfect hands-off serviceCredit: <\/p>\n Sauna with stunning views at Hotel BeausoleilCredit: Hotel Beausoleil<\/p>\n At the end of the first day I was burst. I retired to Les Beausoleil, my quiet and comfortable hotel. Although situated just on the edge of the main strip it still felt like a tough hike home with stiff legs.<\/p>\n The hotel has a small complement of hands-off staff that some might find unsettling if you\u2019re used to being waited on relentlessly. I was happy as they were content to just let you get on with it while still being on hand to help if required.<\/p>\n The sauna was fired up at my request and the jacuzzi was a fairly straightforward self-service affair with a stunning view of the Alps beyond the floor to ceiling windows.<\/p>\n There was little time to relax though, as the Les Sybelles staff were keen to give me a peek behind the scenes.<\/p>\n A 12-tonne snowplough raced towards me as I stood at the foot of the slopes at dusk.<\/p>\n Out bounded Matteo Perroton, 23, a baby-faced driver who works through the night to get the slopes ready for the next day.<\/p>\n \u201cJump in,\u201d he said, telling me that he had been driving ploughs since a boy as he accelerated up the snow covered slope.<\/p>\n His experience gave me some comfort as he careered round sheer cliff edges like the monster machine was a Mini. I asked if he found his job scary.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a bit scary when the plough loses grip and slides down the slope like a snowboard,\u201d he replied. A bit scary? I decided to stop asking questions.<\/p>\n Back to the hotel for a late dinner sampling Les Beausoleil\u2019s very reasonable 40 euro set menu offering scallops or foie gras, fish or veal mains, followed by a cheeseboard and dessert selection.<\/p>\n Straight to bed for an early start for part two of my behind the scenes tour, up before dawn to join the ski patrol as they did their final checks before opening the slopes. I warned them in advance I was a novice snowboarder and pleaded to steer clear of the black runs.<\/p>\n The views on the early morning trip were stunningCredit: Andy Parant<\/p>\n Mark enjoyed red runs and red wine on the tripCredit: <\/p>\n I clearly set the bar too high as I was faced with two tricky reds, complete with a fresh coating of deep overnight snow.<\/p>\n My tired day-two legs couldn\u2019t quite make the turns so I just had to scrape down the sheer slope, almost triggering a mini-avalanche as the fresh dump piled up in front of me like a human snowplough.<\/p>\n I had visions of tumbling into a snowball like some slapstick cartoon.<\/p>\n Time for a quick coffee at Les Airelles, the caf\u00e9 at the foot of the slopes where the hardier types were already on the Desperado beers and wine before the lifts had even opened.<\/p>\n Aur\u00e9lie took my ambition for backflips by teatime a bit too literally for our second lesson, launching me straight down more reds before my legs gave way for good.<\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\tGO: LES SYBELLES\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t \n\t\t\t\t\t\tGO: SKIING \t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n GETTING THERE: EasyJet.com<\/a> have fights from Edinburgh to Lyon with prices from \u00a341.49pp one way. Les Sybelles is accessible by train to Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne followed by a 20km taxi ride.<\/p>\n STAYING THERE: Rooms at Chalet-Hotel Les Beausoleil from \u00a3198. See beausoleilhotel.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ch\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/180730_florideete1_201jpg-JS960211690.jpg\"\/)
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