{"id":30360,"date":"2026-03-20T12:04:07","date_gmt":"2026-03-20T12:04:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/30360\/"},"modified":"2026-03-20T12:04:07","modified_gmt":"2026-03-20T12:04:07","slug":"satira-pulka-kanady-chce-do-eu-zbytek-nejspis-jeste-nevidel-italske-danove-priznani","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/30360\/","title":{"rendered":"SATIRA: P\u016flka Kanady chce do EU, zbytek nejsp\u00ed\u0161 je\u0161t\u011b nevid\u011bl Italsk\u00e9 da\u0148ov\u00e9 p\u0159izn\u00e1n\u00ed"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sv\u011bt se zbl\u00e1znil, ale v\u00a0Bruselu si toho zat\u00edm nikdo nev\u0161iml, proto\u017ee maj\u00ed pln\u00e9 ruce pr\u00e1ce s\u00a0m\u011b\u0159en\u00edm pr\u016fm\u011bru otvoru v\u00a0solni\u010dk\u00e1ch. Francouzsk\u00fd ministr zahrani\u010d\u00ed Jean-No\u00ebl Barrot toti\u017e vypustil do sv\u011bta my\u0161lenku, kter\u00e1 zn\u00ed jako v\u00fdsledek velmi bujar\u00e9ho ve\u010d\u00edrku s\u00a0kvalitn\u00edm Bordeaux: Kanada by se mohla st\u00e1t \u010dlenskou zem\u00ed Evropsk\u00e9 unie. A\u00a0co je na tom nejvtipn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed? Kana\u010fan\u00e9 nejsou proti. Podle serveru Abacus Data by jich tam klidn\u011b vlezla skoro polovina (zdroj: Novinky.cz<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Je to fascinuj\u00edc\u00ed uk\u00e1zka toho, \u017ee zem\u011bpis je v\u00a0modern\u00ed diplomacii jen takov\u00e9 nez\u00e1vazn\u00e9 doporu\u010den\u00ed, asi jako n\u00e1pis \u201epijte s\u00a0m\u00edrou\u201c na l\u00e1hvi tuzem\u00e1ku. Pokud m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt v\u00a0Evropsk\u00e9 unii Kypr, kter\u00fd je geograficky o\u00a0fous bl\u00ed\u017e k\u00a0Dubaji ne\u017e k\u00a0Berl\u00ednu, nebo Francouzsk\u00e1 Guyana, kde se proh\u00e1n\u011bj\u00ed jagu\u00e1\u0159i z\u00a0jihoamerick\u00e9 d\u017eungle, pro\u010d by k\u00a0n\u00e1m nemohla pat\u0159it i\u00a0Ottawa? Ostatn\u011b, Kana\u010fan\u00e9 jsou tak slu\u0161n\u00ed, \u017ee by se v\u00a0Bruselu pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b omlouvali i\u00a0automat\u016fm na k\u00e1vu, kdy\u017e jim dojde kel\u00edmek.<\/p>\n

Javorov\u00fd sirup vs. \u0158epka olejka: Souboj tit\u00e1n\u016f<\/p>\n

P\u0159edstava, \u017ee se Kanada stane \u010dlenem EU, otev\u00edr\u00e1 obzory, o\u00a0kter\u00fdch se nesnilo ani t\u011bm nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00edm vizion\u00e1\u0159\u016fm. P\u0159edstavte si ty mo\u017enosti. V\u00a0Lidlu by byl zlevn\u011bn\u00fd javorov\u00fd sirup i\u00a0mimo americk\u00e9 t\u00fddny a\u00a0kanadsk\u00fd d\u0159evorubec by na opl\u00e1tku musel \u0159e\u0161it, jestli jeho motorov\u00e1 pila spl\u0148uje hlukov\u00e9 normy pro ochranu hn\u00edzdi\u0161\u0165 vz\u00e1cn\u00e9ho r\u00e1kosn\u00edka v\u00a0jiho\u010desk\u00fdch rybn\u00edc\u00edch.<\/p>\n

\u201eJe to logick\u00fd krok,\u201c prohl\u00e1sil pr\u00fd nejmenovan\u00fd unijn\u00ed \u00fa\u0159edn\u00edk, zat\u00edmco se sna\u017eil na map\u011b naj\u00edt Toronto a\u00a0omylem zap\u00edchl \u0161pendl\u00edk do Gr\u00f3nska. \u201eKanada m\u00e1 na sv\u00e9 dvacetidolarovce britsk\u00e9ho kr\u00e1le, tak\u017ee \u010d\u00e1st evropsk\u00fdch tradic u\u017e stejn\u011b p\u0159ijali za sv\u00e9. Maj\u00ed r\u00e1di s\u00fdry, mluv\u00ed tam francouzsky, a\u00a0hlavn\u011b jsou dostate\u010dn\u011b daleko od Viktora Orb\u00e1na, co\u017e je v\u00a0dne\u0161n\u00ed dob\u011b pro Brusel nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed strategick\u00e1 v\u00fdhoda.\u201c<\/p>\n

Podle pr\u016fzkumu Abacus Data je 48\u00a0procent Kana\u010fan\u016f pro vstup. Z\u00a0toho 20\u00a0procent to podporuje \u201esiln\u011b\u201c. To jsou pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b ti, kte\u0159\u00ed si mysl\u00ed, \u017ee po vstupu do EU budou moci jezdit Pendolinem z\u00a0Montrealu do Pa\u0159\u00ed\u017ee za cenu l\u00edstku na MHD. Zbyl\u00fdch 28\u00a0procent to podporuje \u201edo jist\u00e9 m\u00edry\u201c, co\u017e je v\u00a0kanad\u0161tin\u011b v\u00fdraz pro \u201epokud mi nikdo nebude sahat na moji hokejovou v\u00fdstroj, je mi to jedno\u201c.<\/p>\n

Schengensk\u00fd prostor s\u00a0ledov\u00fdmi krami<\/p>\n

Skute\u010dn\u00e1 z\u00e1bava by ale za\u010dala v\u00a0moment\u011b, kdy by do\u0161lo na implementaci evropsk\u00e9 legislativy. Kanada by musela p\u0159ijmout celou tu n\u00e1dhernou hromadu pap\u00edr\u016f zn\u00e1mou jako acquis communautaire. P\u0159edstavte si pr\u016fm\u011brn\u00e9ho obyvatele Yukonu, jak se sna\u017e\u00ed pochopit italsk\u00e9 da\u0148ov\u00e9 p\u0159izn\u00e1n\u00ed nebo \u0159eck\u00e9 pracovn\u00ed pr\u00e1vo. V\u00a0Kanad\u011b se v\u011bci \u0159e\u0161\u00ed domluvou a\u00a0pod\u00e1n\u00edm ruky. V\u00a0EU se v\u011bci \u0159e\u0161\u00ed vytvo\u0159en\u00edm komise, kter\u00e1 po dvou letech usoud\u00ed, \u017ee je t\u0159eba vytvo\u0159it podkomisi pro prozkoum\u00e1n\u00ed vlivu pod\u00e1n\u00ed ruky na glob\u00e1ln\u00ed oteplov\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/p>\n

A co teprve voln\u00fd pohyb osob? P\u0159edstava, \u017ee se polovina populace z\u00a0vylou\u010den\u00fdch lokalit v\u00a0\u00dast\u00ed nad Labem sebere a\u00a0odjede t\u011b\u017eit zlato do Klondiku, proto\u017ee tam maj\u00ed vy\u0161\u0161\u00ed soci\u00e1ln\u00ed d\u00e1vky, mus\u00ed kanadsk\u00e9 pohrani\u010dn\u00edky budit ze sna. Na druhou stranu, \u010de\u0161t\u00ed hokejov\u00ed fanou\u0161ci by skute\u010dn\u011b zaj\u00e1sali. NHL by se nehr\u00e1la v\u00a0Evropsk\u00e9 unii jednou za rok, jako v\u00fdjime\u010dn\u00e1 ud\u00e1lost, ale hned dvakr\u00e1t t\u00fddn\u011b, a\u017e by n\u00e1m lezla krkem. A\u00a0n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bva Niagarsk\u00fdch vodop\u00e1d\u016f v\u00a0r\u00e1mci Schengensk\u00e9ho prostoru je taky v\u00edc ne\u017e l\u00e1kav\u00e1.<\/p>\n

Francouzsk\u00fd ministr Barrot m\u00e1 ale pravdu v\u00a0jednom: kulturn\u011b k\u00a0sob\u011b m\u00e1me bl\u00edzko. Kanada je takov\u00e1 odleh\u010den\u00e1 verze Evropy s\u00a0medv\u011bdy. A\u00a0vlastn\u011b i\u00a0na ty u\u017e si tady v\u00a0\u010cesku pomalu zvyk\u00e1me. Kana\u010fan\u00e9 jsou liber\u00e1ln\u00ed, maj\u00ed st\u00e1tn\u00ed zdravotnictv\u00ed (kter\u00e9 sice funguje podobn\u011b jako to na\u0161e, tedy \u017ee se operace do\u017eijete, jen pokud m\u00e1te tuh\u00fd ko\u0159\u00ednek) a\u00a0nenos\u00ed zbran\u011b do samoobsluhy jako jejich soused\u00e9 z\u00a0jihu.<\/p>\n

Kdo je dal\u0161\u00ed na \u0159ad\u011b? Braz\u00edlie v\u00a0Eurovizi u\u017e nikoho nep\u0159ekvap\u00ed<\/p>\n

Pokud projde Kanada, stavidla se otev\u0159ou doko\u0159\u00e1n. Pro\u010d se zastavovat u\u00a0Atlantiku? Japonsko je v\u00a0podstat\u011b takov\u00e9 N\u011bmecko, akor\u00e1t s\u00a0lep\u0161\u00edmi vlaky a\u00a0divn\u011bj\u0161\u00edmi animovan\u00fdmi filmy. Japonsko v\u00a0EU by vy\u0159e\u0161ilo probl\u00e9m s\u00a0nedostatkem pracovn\u00ed s\u00edly. Prost\u011b bychom do \u0160kodovky nasadili roboty z\u00a0Tokia, kte\u0159\u00ed by si nest\u011b\u017eovali na p\u0159es\u010dasy a\u00a0necht\u011bli by stravenky.<\/p>\n

A co Braz\u00edlie? Ta by sice rozvr\u00e1tila evropsk\u00fd rozpo\u010det na zem\u011bd\u011blstv\u00ed, proto\u017ee by n\u00e1s zaplavila hov\u011bz\u00edm, ale p\u0159edstavte si to fotbalov\u00e9 Euro! Kone\u010dn\u011b by se na to dalo koukat. Fin\u00e1le mezi \u010ceskem a\u00a0Braz\u00edli\u00ed na stadionu v\u00a0Berl\u00edn\u011b, kde by polovina div\u00e1k\u016f tan\u010dila sambu a\u00a0druh\u00e1 polovina by smutn\u011b koukala do piva, to je vize, pro kterou stoj\u00ed za to ob\u011btovat i\u00a0ten zbytek zdrav\u00e9ho rozumu.<\/p>\n

\u201eMy\u0161lenka roz\u0161\u00ed\u0159en\u00ed Unie o\u00a0Kanadu je v\u00a0podstat\u011b jako svatba z\u00a0rozumu mezi osam\u011bl\u00fdm milion\u00e1\u0159em a\u00a0neurotickou aristokratkou,\u201c glosoval situaci politolog v\u00a0jedn\u00e9 pra\u017esk\u00e9 hospod\u011b. \u201eOba v\u011bd\u00ed, \u017ee to nebude fungovat, oba se budou navz\u00e1jem \u0161tv\u00e1t, ale vypad\u00e1 to skv\u011ble na Instagramu.\u201c<\/p>\n

Z\u00e1v\u011brem lze \u0159\u00edci jen jedno: Pokud Kanada skute\u010dn\u011b vstoup\u00ed do EU, budeme m\u00edt kone\u010dn\u011b zemi, kter\u00e1 je v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e na\u0161e ego. A\u00a0pro n\u00e1s \u010cechy to znamen\u00e1 jedin\u00e9 – a\u017e se n\u00e1s zase n\u011bkdo v\u00a0cizin\u011b zept\u00e1, jestli jsme z\u00a0\u010ce\u010denska, budeme moci hrd\u011b odpov\u011bd\u011bt: \u201eNe, my jsme z\u00a0t\u00e9 sam\u00e9 unie jako ti p\u00e1nov\u00e9, co vynalezli hokej a\u00a0slu\u0161n\u00e9 vychov\u00e1n\u00ed.\u201c Jen doufejme, \u017ee si Kana\u010fan\u00e9 p\u0159ed podpisem smlouvy p\u0159e\u010dtou i\u00a0ty drobn\u00e9 pozn\u00e1mky pod \u010darou o\u00a0z\u00e1kazu prodeje kotl\u016f na tuh\u00e1 paliva.<\/p>\n

Byli byste pro, aby se Kanada stala na\u0161\u00edm 28. (nebo kolik\u00e1t\u00fdm vlastn\u011b) \u010dlenem, i\u00a0kdyby to znamenalo, \u017ee budeme muset dotovat v\u00fdvoz javorov\u00e9ho sirupu do \u0158ecka?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sv\u011bt se zbl\u00e1znil, ale v\u00a0Bruselu si toho zat\u00edm nikdo nev\u0161iml, proto\u017ee maj\u00ed pln\u00e9 ruce pr\u00e1ce s\u00a0m\u011b\u0159en\u00edm pr\u016fm\u011bru otvoru…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":30361,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[11],"tags":[991,27,13313,1005,10357,54,53,52,80],"class_list":["post-30360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-svet","tag-evropska-unie-eu","tag-kanada","tag-kanadane","tag-pruzkum","tag-satira","tag-svet","tag-world","tag-world-news","tag-zabava"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@cz\/116261412248282526","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30360","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30360"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30360\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/30361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/cz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}