The unattended pram was the biggest shock. A six-month-old baby, fast asleep in the front garden of our neighbour\u2019s house, with no adult in sight. I panicked slightly, looking around for the parents. But no one else seemed concerned.<\/p>\n
Later on, at the local swing park, the pattern repeated itself: toddlers climbing eight-foot apparatus, crying, laughing, falling, getting up again, while parents stood at a quiet distance, chatting away quite happily. They got involved sometimes, of course, but nobody hovered. Nobody helicoptered<\/a>. Nobody barked orders or chased their children around with snacks or tissues.<\/p>\n We were in Copenhagen for several months for my wife\u2019s work, and I had taken on full-time care of our four-year-old daughter. And I was quick to realise that I was the odd one out \u2013 an overly involved British dad in a country that trusted children to just get on with it.<\/p>\n Danish children are given a lot of freedom from the get-go. And, as with any child anywhere, you give them a bit of responsibility and they rise to the occasion.<\/p>\n In the UK, if two four year olds start squabbling over a swing, a parent typically swoops in within seconds to referee. I always had done. In Denmark, the adults hang back. They\u2019ll watch, of course, but they won\u2019t interfere unless it\u2019s absolutely necessary. Children are expected to work it out themselves. Which, almost invariably, they do.<\/p>\n This attitude runs deep. It\u2019s not a conscious thing: it\u2019s just how the world works in Denmark. Kids cycle to kindergarten and roam forest schools<\/a> with minimal adult intrusion. I\u2019d see them at it while my daughter and I were out walking the dog, half feral yet gleefully independent, confident, strong, happy. <\/p>\n Children are encouraged to explore, problem-solve, and take risks. It\u2019s common to see fire pits in natural spaces which everyone can use, and it\u2019s equally common to see children cooking over them (though this is generally supervised \u2013 kids are not quite that independent.)<\/p>\n Let children figure things out. Let them feel capable, let them fail, and let them get up again. It works.<\/p>\n