{"id":268503,"date":"2026-09-04T13:54:58","date_gmt":"2026-09-04T13:54:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/268503\/"},"modified":"2026-09-04T13:54:58","modified_gmt":"2026-09-04T13:54:58","slug":"jah-mu-kihud-on-mind-rahutuks-teinud-loomulikult-on-ka-minul-sundmotteid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/268503\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00abJah, mu kihud on mind rahutuks teinud. Loomulikult on ka minul sundm\u00f5tteid&#8230;\u00bb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>P\u00e4rast asjatuid katseid leida piltides seost olen j\u00f5udnud j\u00e4reldusele, et see, millest ma aru ei saa, ei olegi nii v\u00e4ga see lugu ise, ja et pigem p\u00fc\u00fcan ma selgust saada, kuidas mina selle loo v\u00f5rku takerdusin, ja uurida v\u00e4lja, mida tahavad mulle \u00f6elda need n\u00e4htused, mis mind k\u00f6idavad ja lummavad ja on mind juba mitu korda arukaotuse \u00e4\u00e4rele ajanud. Sellest loost s\u00f5ltub mu eksistents, sisendan ma endale, teades samas, et olen naeruv\u00e4\u00e4rne ja mul pole midagi karta; v\u00f5iksin need m\u00e4rtsis\u00fcndmused sinnapaika j\u00e4tta ja minuga ei juhtuks mitte midagi, ma saaksin oma eluga edasi minna nagu siiamaani. Oleksin t\u00f5epoolest p\u00e4\u00e4stetud, kui suudaksin tunnistada, et olen Philipi looga karile jooksnud. See on minu jaoks liiga suur \u2013 ehkki tundub t\u00e4iesti lihtne. Mul on tunne, et j\u00e4tan igal katsel midagi kahe silma vahele, m\u00f5ne \u00fcksikasja, mis on m\u00f6\u00f6dap\u00e4\u00e4smatu; et kaotan m\u00f5ne m\u00e4rgi, mis v\u00f5iks mind \u00f5igetele j\u00e4lgedele viia. Ma tean, kui tihti olen endale vandunud, et n\u00fc\u00fcd aitab, ja sellega endale valetanud nagu alkohoolik, kes petab end s\u00f5nadega, et n\u00fc\u00fcd tuleb viimane klaas. Ma olen m\u00e4ngur, kes laseb pankroti \u00e4\u00e4rel endale viimast korda kaardid jagada \u2013 v\u00f5tan julguse veel \u00fcks kord katsetada, lasen s\u00fcndmustel veel \u00fcks kord ellu \u00e4rgata, veel \u00fcks kord, ja siis olgu sellega l\u00f5pp.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"P\u00e4rast asjatuid katseid leida piltides seost olen j\u00f5udnud j\u00e4reldusele, et see, millest ma aru ei saa, ei olegi&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":268504,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[80],"tags":[26,27,103857,37,33,35,103712,44455,34,36,31,32,21,11749,28,29,103855,7086,7841,103546,95,19,25,179,13634,11746,103856,23,24,22,20,30,92,93,94,18686],"class_list":["post-268503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-maailm","tag-breaking-news","tag-breakingnews","tag-dramaatika","tag-ee","tag-eesti","tag-eesti-keel","tag-eksistentsialism","tag-esseistika","tag-estonia","tag-estonian","tag-featured-news","tag-featurednews","tag-headlines","tag-katkend","tag-latest-news","tag-latestnews","tag-lauri-eesmaa","tag-linnugripp","tag-loomingu-raamatukogu","tag-lukas-barfuss","tag-maailm","tag-news","tag-populaarseimad-lood","tag-raamat","tag-raamatukatkend","tag-romaan","tag-sveitsi-kirjandus","tag-top-stories","tag-topstories","tag-uldised-uudised","tag-uudised","tag-viimased-uudised","tag-world","tag-world-news","tag-worldnews","tag-zurich"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":"Validation failed: Text character limit of 500 exceeded"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268503","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=268503"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268503\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/268504"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=268503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=268503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=268503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}