(Getty Images)
Where do you start? I genuinely have no idea.
England had 45 minutes of being totally dominant, 35 minutes of being totally hapless, and then another 20 or so of being competitive enough to see it out. If you add that all up, you get a 6-4 win. I think.
From 4-0 up at half-time, it did for a moment look like becoming one of the all-time English collapses, greater even than the all-time English collapse of just the other day. But the Three Lions got away with it in the end, steadied by the introduction of Jude Bellingham and the assistance of a late penalty.
France were diabolical in the first half and then briefly magical in the second. Mbappe and Olise decided they wanted a crack after the half-time break, and that was nearly enough to create something incredible. But there was too much to do, and they didn’t deserve to win after what was offered up at the start.
Kylian Mbappe is now the World Cup’s all-time greatest goalscorer (for now at least). Mbappe also leads the Golden Boot race by two (for now at least). Michael Olise has broken the record for most assists at a World Cup with seven. Bukayo Saka scored a hattrick. Jude Bellingham finished with seven goals, the most of any English man at a World Cup. The ref got injured.
Crazy game. Head-spinning stuff.