Rob O’Brien hit rock bottom before turning his life around
Rob O’Brien was left in £80,000 worth of gambling debt(Image: ITV)
A man has spoken out about his addiction which left him in £80,000 worth of debt. Rob O’Brien, 48, from Kirkby, had previously enjoyed gambling when he started playing online poker in early 2005.
But this time, Rob struggled to keep his usage under control. During this period, the websites accepted credit cards for payment and Rob ended up taking out several of them so he could keep gambling. Credit card transactions are no longer accepted at licensed UK betting sites or casinos.
Rob’s addiction lasted around two years, putting a huge strain on his mental health and causing his relationship to collapse. Speaking to the ECHO, Rob said: “I spent all the money I had and then I was getting credit cards out too – you can’t do that anymore.”
In poker, blinds are mandatory forced bets made before each hand is dealt to ensure there is money in the pot.
Rob said: “If you’re playing with your mates, the blinds might be 50p and £1 or 25p and 50p. But in the games I was playing, you didn’t know what your cards were and the blinds were like $50 and a $100, so it was brutal. If you’re losing, you’ve got to go all in.
“Sometimes I played really well and I won a lot. But with anything gambling wise, the only winners are the bookmakers themselves, so it was a spiral.
“It was just a compulsion. This is very mad but I used to get a high off losing as well. If I lost £3,000, I’d get a high off that. That’s when you know you’ve got a problem losing money and it’s time to get help.”
Online poker became a nightly habit for Rob. Even though he managed to pay his bills on time, he racked up thousands of pounds of debt while his life and relationships started to collapse.
He said: “Every night, I was away with the headset on. I focussed on the American market because that was where the most money was. I was winning lots of money and then losing ridiculous amounts of money.
“When I lost all my money, I got credit cards out in my own name. I was living in one of my friends’ cars for a number of months, and then I was up and down the motorway.
“In the motorway service stations at the time, you could stay as long as you wanted. It wasn’t like now where you can only stay three hours or something. I used to sleep there.
“I’d spent ridiculous amounts of money. I was in a mess, my relationship was in tatters. It was just shocking.”
After considering taking his own life in January 2007, Rob went into hospital. It was during this period he decided to approach Gamblers Anonymous and StepChange, a charity which supports people with debt issues.
Rob said: “When I come out to the hospital, I immediately got in touch with Gamblers Anonymous. One of the doctors in the hospital told me about Step Change and I got in touch with them too.
“I don’t think I’ve never slept better as I did that night when StepChange went through all my finances. You’ve got to be honest with them and tell them what you owe.
“It’s no good going to StepChange and think, I’m not going to tell them about that credit card. I was powerless over (the debt), it had a hold of me.”
“You’ve got to want to do it yourself and that’s the main thing. I wanted to be a better person and I wanted to get well.”
Rob has not gambled since 2007 and is now debt-free. As well as sharing his story to show others there is a way out, he wants to help others directly.
Rob, who is a massive Liverpool FC fan, started collecting club memorabilia and turned it into a successful business, Exclusive Private Signings.
Rob built strong connections with Liverpool legends such as Jan Molby and Bruce Grobbelaar, helping him develop a portfolio of signed memorabilia.
Through exclusive signings and fundraising auctions, Rob has raised significant funds for the Wirral University Teaching Hospital (WUTH) charity’s children’s fund, which is helping to refurbish and expand the neonatal unit at Arrowe Park Hospital.
Rob (second from right) and colleagues from Exclusive Private Signings present a cheque for £22,000 to WUTH Charity to support neonatal care at Arrowe Park Hospital(Image: Wirral University Teaching Hospital NHS Foundation Trust)
Rob said: “Having been in such a dark place myself, I know how much a second chance can mean.
“Supporting WUTH Charity is my way of ensuring something positive came from my struggles. Knowing what we’re doing is helping families, that means everything.
”People send in their items to me to be signed so it’s not just about selling the items. They might have a 1984 share that needs Kenny Dalglish or Bruce Grobbelaar to sign because they were in that team.”
Rob also paid tribute to Jan Molby and Jan’s wife, Mandy, for their continued support. The couple host an annual Winter Ball to raise funds for WUTH Charity, with Rob’s donated memorabilia regularly featured in their charity auctions.
Rob added: “Jan and Mandy have been fantastic. Their dedication to helping others is inspiring, and I’m honoured to support them and call them friends.”
Rob with Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish(Image: Wirral University Teaching Hospital NHS Foundation Trust)
Rob is determined to keep raising awareness about his experience and organisations who can help others. He said: “A lot of people helped me on my journey.
“It’s about helping the people who’ve been in that situation and don’t know what to do, and giving them advice. Gambling doesn’t impact me anymore but I never ever take it for granted. It is one day at a time.
“You never hear anyone on Facebook or social media talk about how much they’ve lost on a horse or a football match. There’s a mental health and debt crisis in our country and in our city.
“There are people who are in so much trouble and so much debt that they think they have nowhere to turn to.”
You can find out more about Gamblers Anonymous here and StepChange here.
Mental health support
Helplines and support groups
The following are helplines and support networks for people to talk to, mostly listed on the NHS Choices website
- Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
- CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.
- PANDAS (0808 1961 776) runs a free helpline and offers a support service for people who may be suffering with perinatal mental illness, including prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression plus support for their family or network.
- Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.
- PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
- Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
- Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
- Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.
- Amparo provides emotional and practical support for anyone who has been affected by a suicide. This includes dealing with police and coroners; helping with media enquiries; preparing for and attending an inquest and helping to access other, appropriate, local support services. Call 0330 088 9255 or visit www.amparo.org.uk for more details.
- Hub of Hope is the UK’s most comprehensive national mental health support database. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text SHOUT to 85258 to find relevant services near you.
- Young Persons Advisory Service – Providing mental health and emotional wellbeing services for Liverpool’s children, young people and families. tel: 0151 707 1025 email: support@ypas.org.uk
- Paul’s Place – providing free counselling and group sessions to anyone living in Merseyside who has lost a family member or friend to suicide. Tel: 0151 226 0696 or email: paulsplace@beaconcounsellingtrust.co.uk
- The Martin Gallier Project – offering face to face support for individuals considering suicide and their families. Opening hours 9.30-16.30, 7 days a week. Tel: 0151 644 0294 email: triage@gallierhouse.co.uk
- James’ Place – supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/