Late-night hosts reacted to Donald Trump’s partial demolition of the East Wing of the White House for his proposed $250m gilded ballroom.
Stephen Colbert
“At this point, we’re nine months into this, you’d think it would be impossible for us to be shocked by Donald Trump,” said Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s Late Show. “But give the man credit – every so often, he takes the time to attach the electrodes to our nipples. And then it feels like the first time.”
Case in point: on Monday, as part of his White House renovation project to construct a gilded ballroom, Trump sent out a backhoe to rip off a part of the East Wing. “That is it, we are not giving him the security deposit back,” Colbert quipped.
“That is so deeply unsettling,” he continued. “It’s like being a kid and seeing your teacher at the grocery store … for sale … in the meat department.
“We’re just nine months into Trump’s term, and he’s already going ‘Hulk smash’ on the White House. Last time, it took at least four years to bring a demo crew to the Capitol,” he added, referring to January 6.
The demolition comes after Trump promised that the $250m, 90,000-sq-ft ballroom renovation would not touch the existing White House. “So that was a lie,” said Colbert. “At this point, should we even believe that this is going to end up being a ballroom? It could just as easily end up being a combination Pizza Hut-Taco Bell!”
The treasury department has even instructed its employees not to share any photos of the White House “construction”.
“Not generally something you instruct when you’re proud of what’s going on,” Colbert noted. “Hey guys, remember, no photos at my wedding … and it’s not because I’m marrying a body pillow of Mariah Carey.’”
The Daily Show
“The government shutdown is now in its third week,” said Michael Kosta on the Daily Show. “Countless federal employees aren’t being paid. Food stamps will run out soon. And there’s no end in sight. But not to worry – President Trump is working day and night … to build a ballroom!
“It’s exactly what you voted for, coalminers in Pennsylvania: 90,000 gilded sq ft for Trump to do the jerk-off dance in,” he joked. “But if you’re worried such a renovation might damage the people’s house, let Donald Trump put your fears to rest.”
Trump claimed that the project would “not interfere with the current building” because it would be “near it but not touching it” and “paying total respect to the existing building, which I’m the biggest fan of, it’s my favorite”
“Yeah, it’s my favorite. I never want to leave … and I’m never going to,” Kosta mocked. “I believe it’s his favorite building, though. He loves the history, the decor, the immunity from criminal convictions it provides. But great! The White House itself is going to be fine.”
Until a backhoe tore down some of the East Wing facade. “Well, it looks like they touched it,” Kosta joked. “I mean, holy shit, who’s his general contractor? Bin Laden and Sons?”
“Apparently ‘not touching’ the White House turned into ‘demolishing’ the White House,” he added. “And for what? Does he really need a ballroom attached to his home? I mean, I guess it would be good to have one room where Barron did not have to crouch, but still.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers also responded to the East Wing demolition. “You guys, I don’t think he’s planning on leaving in three years,” he said. “If I had three years left on a lease, I wouldn’t even put up a shelf.”
In other news, during a White House press conference on Monday, Trump claimed that a cameraman hit a mirror with a piece of equipment. “Luckily, no one in his administration casts a reflection,” Meyers joked next to a photo of ghoulish adviser Stephen Miller.
After Trump praised the Australian prime minister, Anthony Albanese, during a press conference on Monday, Albanese said that he would use clips of those compliments in 2028 campaign ads. “So will I, said his opponent,” Meyers quipped.
And more than a dozen airports across the country have refused to play a partisan video of the homeland security secretary, Kristi Noem, at TSA checkpoints. “It just really riles up the dogs,” Meyers said, referring to Noem’s admission in her own memoir that she shot her own puppy for its behavior.