Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

My parent recently passed away before retiring. I have inherited a Roth IRA account that must be paid out within 10 years. This is more money than I can conceive of. It’s 30 percent more than I would make in 10 years if my current salary remained the same. I know I can put some of it into my own retirement account to catch up after a few turbulent years, but the rest? Should I buy a home? It’s a bad time to do that, right? Put it in my high-yield savings account? Whenever I try to think about this I become sad because my parent should be here enjoying a well-deserved retirement.

—Champagne Problems

Dear Champagne Problems,

Big money decisions are never easy, and when they’re tangled up with grief, they get even more complicated. The inheritance becomes a symbolic reminder of a life cut short, which makes it almost impossible to figure out what to do with it. Spending it on anything, even if it’s a smart financial move, can be a reminder of the loss.

You do have some time, thanks to the 10-year rule you mentioned. To clarify, because it was your parent’s account, you’ll need to fully withdraw the money “by the end of the 10th year” after the year of their death, according to the IRS. The good news is, since it’s a Roth IRA, you won’t owe taxes on your withdrawals (as long as the account was open for at least five years), and you don’t have to take anything out right away. The point is, there’s no need to figure it all out right now, especially while you’re grieving. But practically speaking, if you have any high-interest debt (like credit cards, consumer loans, or car notes) it’s probably smart to pay that off as soon as possible. Your instincts are right—it might also be a good time to beef up your retirement savings and even your emergency fund. That is, put enough in a high-yield, liquid savings account to cover six to18 months of living expenses.

Beyond that, you should really start searching for a fee-only Certified Financial Planner (CFP). You’re dealing with a considerable sum of money, and you need professional guidance. A CFP can help you map out a financial strategy according to your own goals, expenses, and risk tolerance. (We’ve covered how and where to find a CFP here.) They’ll have a better idea of what to do with the money once they learn more about your specific situation. For example, it’s not necessarily a bad idea to buy a home, but that really depends on a handful of different factors. Yes, interest rates are higher than they used to be, and housing prices are crazy high pretty much everywhere. But depending on your area, how much you can afford, and whether or not homeownership even aligns with your goals, it might be an option worth exploring.

Losing a parent is hard. Maybe part of your plan could include using some of the money toward something your parent would’ve loved. That might be a donation in their name, a trip they’ve always dreamed of taking, or a meaningful project that helps to keep their memory alive.

Please keep questions short (

Dear Pay Dirt,

Growing up, my family and I always lived on the frugal side, and future-proofing has stayed very important to me. At 37, I have saved around $1 million across investments, high-yield savings, and my retirement accounts (e.g., 401k), but I own no property. My partner and I have been together for six years and have similar views on saving, but we keep our finances separate because they have a child from a previous relationship. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety around being able to save enough for retirement, because according to retirement calculators, I need $5 to $7 million saved to be comfortable when I retire, even when I lower my estimated costs! I have a high-paying job in tech, but of course that’s not guaranteed forever. Is “only” a million at this age with no property ownership going to be enough? Like many of my peers, owning a home seems like a faraway dream in the areas I’d like to be, and considering the state of things in the US, I’m trying not counting on Social Security.

—Worried But Not Sure if I Should Be

Dear Worried,

  1. Help! I Knew Adults Shouldn’t Do This on Halloween. But I Did Anyway—and It Was Not at All What I Expected.

  2. I Took in My Four Grandkids After a Tragic Accident. I Wasn’t Prepared for What Life Would Be Like a Decade Later.

  3. I Know What It Takes to Get a Job in This Market. My Friend Doesn’t Want to Hear It.

  4. I Made a Very Reasonable Request of My Mom When She Visits Our Home. Now She’s Majorly Retaliating.

Those retirement calculators are great, and they can be really helpful for figuring out how much to save, but keep in mind, they often make assumptions that err on the conservative side. At 37, having a million dollars saved puts you way ahead of most people your age. Plus, you still have decades to save and allow compound interest to do its thing. If it makes you feel better to ramp up your savings, it can’t hurt, but you’re in a sturdier boat than most of us.

Not owning property doesn’t mean you’re behind. It just means your proverbial nest egg is more liquid and flexible. If homeownership isn’t realistic in your area right now, that’s fine—plenty of people rent long-term and still retire comfortably. You might even find better returns by investing elsewhere.

You’re also smart not to count on Social Security fully, but the truth is, it’s unlikely to disappear entirely. And even a reduced benefit could still help you cover some basic expenses.

The bottom line is, your financial discipline already has you way ahead of the curve. Frugality is great, but it can also be a source of anxiety. If you can’t kick the financial anxiety, it’s worth booking a session with a Certified Financial Planner. They’ll tell you where you stand, help optimize your savings, and come up with a more customized plan that goes beyond what the calculators can do.

—Kristin

More Money Advice From Slate

We need help figuring out how to equitably manage inheritances in a blended family. My two youngest children (former stepchildren, now adopted by me!) recently came into a very significant amount of money in the form of an inheritance from their maternal grandparents. Unfortunately, it’s not in a trust.

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