Nikki Glaser didn’t hold back during her opening monologue at the 83rd Golden Globe Awards on Sunday night, riffing on everything from the Epstein files to CBS News.
Glaser started strong, lobbing a joke about the much-discussed bidding war over Warner Bros. Discovery. “We’ll start the bidding for Warner Bros. at $5. Do I hear $5?” Glaser asked with Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav and Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos in the audience.
She then went on to say that the Globes is celebrating the best of both TV and film in the heart of Los Angeles, “where no TV or film has been made for the past six years.” Glaser quickly followed her insider industry riffing with a set about another major news story — the Epstein files.
“I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight. It’s insane. There’s so many A-listers,” Glaser said. “And by A-listers, I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted.”
“And the Golden Globe for Best Editing goes to the Justice Department,” the comedian added.
She then pivoted to the controversy surrounding CBS News, giving the organization the award for Most Editing and calling it “America’s newest place to see b.s. news.”
Before Skydance purchased Paramount in a deal worth $8 billion, “60 Minutes” — a show that airs on the Paramount-owned CBS — settled a lawsuit with Donald Trump for $16 million. That installment paired with the appointment of Bari Weiss as editor-in-chief has led to a great deal of criticism regarding CBS News.
But the joke that got one of the biggest laughs of the evening had to do with Leonardo DiCaprio, who was there for his “One Battle After Another” nomination.
“What a career you’ve had. I mean, countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director. You’ve won three Golden Globes, an Oscar,” Glaser said. “And the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30.”
After getting a laugh from the room for the low-hanging joke, Glaser apologized.
“It’s cheap. You know what, I tried not to, but we don’t know anything else about you, man. Like there’s nothing else,” Glaser said. “Like open up. Seriously, the most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was in Teen Week magazine in 1991. Is your favorite food still pasta, pasta and more pasta?”
DiCaprio nodded and said yes, yes it is.
There was even a trace of Glaser’s distinct brand of dirty humor. After joking that “Sinners” saved Warner Bros. Discovery “for about a month,” Glaser praised Michael B. Jordan’s portrayal of twins in the Ryan Coogler horror-action film.
“I can’t believe it, we got two Michael B. Jordans. When I saw that, I was like Nikki B. Jerkin,’” she said. Within seconds, Glaser apologized to Jordan, who was sitting by his mother.
“I’m so sorry. I should not have said that to you. That should have been a DM,” the comedian said as Jordan’s mom was caught on camera taking a big sip of water.
This marked the second time in a row Glaser hosted the show, which is largely considered to be the first major TV and film awards show of the year. In addition to airing on CBS, the show was also available to watch live for Paramount+ Premium subscribers.
