“You’d probably get a bag of cocaine delivered to you faster than a pizza,” says a recovering addict who is highlighting not just the dangers of drug use but also its link to porn addiction among men.
Chris Jenkins says his nose collapsed due to cocaine use and he overdosed twice. He recalls being in cocaine-induced psychosis where he hid in a bush believing there were hidden cameras in his home. He also walked the streets with a knife, convinced he was being chased by people wanting to kill him, he says.
He has since decided to speak out about his cocaine use, which coincided with using porn, to help other men who may be trying to escape similar addictions.
His downhill journey started when he was 16 years old on the beach near his home in Bettystown, Co Meath, when he made “a stupid decision” to take his first line of cocaine.
“I just absolutely fell in love with it right then. I just didn’t want to stop. It was like it wrapped me up in cotton wool to protect me from the world but I know now it is a drug that deceives,” he says.
He was let go from an apprenticeship at a garage and from a job in the Department of Justice because of his drug use, though he says the latter did offer him in-house help and support.
Jenkins was dropped from Bohemians under-18 and under-20 teams because he didn’t bother turning up for training. A semi-professional contract with a soccer club in Perth in Australia was also nullified.
Chris Jenkins: ‘My nose collapsed and my septum is permanently damaged internally and I’ve lost three teeth, all due to cocaine use.’
A full-time move to Spain was abandoned and he had to return to Ireland after he lost his home there because his finances were spent on cocaine and premier porn sites.
Since he started posting on social media about the destructive combination of cocaine and porn, Jenkins says he has been contacted by men of all ages from across the world.
“No one talks about cocaine and porn together and the guilt it leaves. Men have thanked me for saving their lives because of the guilt they feel.
“I speak about it and my experience because I’ve been to hell and back and I don’t care. Cocaine takes control and you need more and more dopamine. Porn is almost just as much a problem for coke addicts as the coke itself, in my opinion.
“So many men have hated themselves after making risky decisions and risky behaviour after a mix of cocaine and porn.”
Joanne O’Dwyer, service coordinator at Meath Community Drug and Alcohol Response, says while cocaine addiction has always been linked to porn use, she is seeing more cases coming to the fore, especially in last two years.
“Cocaine use lowers inhibitions and leads to people, especially men, engaging in risky behaviour that they wouldn’t dream of otherwise,” she says, noting some individuals turn to escorts and people of different genders with whom they would not normally form a relationship.
“Cocaine heightens sexual pleasure and the anticipation of the orgasm – which ironically is often a let-down – adds to the user’s enjoyment. The user is always seeking a better fix or dopamine high, which is what they anticipate from the porn engagement.
[ Increasing number of men seeking treatment for addiction to pornOpens in new window ]
“Both cocaine and porn hijack the brain’s dopamine reward system, causing unnaturally high spikes that train the brain to crave more. Repeated use weakens self-control circuits and reduces sensitivity to normal rewards, driving compulsive behaviour,” says O’Dwyer, a psychotherapist and counsellor.
Jenkins says he had been clean for seven months before relapsing for 12 days, overdosing and ending up on oxygen therapy in hospital where medics told him he may not see 35.
“I’m 35 now. I’ve been clean since last May. My soul woke up and I swore I’d never touch a drug, porn or alcohol again. I’ve a daughter to take care of. I’m taking it day by day. But day by day I’m getting stronger and a lot of that strength is coming from helping others.”
He says he still thinks of cocaine every day and gets flashbacks but will never return to those 19 years that were robbed from him.
“My nose collapsed and my septum is permanently damaged internally and I’ve lost three teeth, all due to cocaine use.”
[ How to know if you are addicted to porn or sex and what the remedy isOpens in new window ]
He says cocaine is “everywhere” and easily accessible but he believes education can help to turn the tide against its spread in Ireland.
“I give talks now and out of ten people in the room, maybe two will take my advice on board. The others will tell themselves they are untouchable, like I told myself – until it happens.
“Don’t do it because the first time you take it, you’re f**ked. If your best friends are taking it, stay away from them,” he says.
- The HSE drug abuse helpline can be reached at confidential freephone number 1800 459 459 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm, or by email at helpline@hse.ie