Leaving Cert holiday: How parents can prepare teenagers for their first solo getaway

BEFORE letting her children — now aged between 18 and 26 — go on a post-Leaving Cert holiday, Parentline CEO and mum-of-five Aileen Hickie needed to see how they coped on short away-from-home trips without their parents.

“A short-distance trip with the school, with trusted family members or to a friend’s holiday home was a pre-requisite before letting them off to Tenerife,” says Hickie, recalling a scare she got the first time she let one of her children off.

“I couldn’t get hold of her on her mobile for a few hours — she was genuinely out of coverage.”

For Hickie, it emphasised how holiday-making teens need to be proactive about communication and to set a daily check-in time.

“There should be a text each day: ‘Hi, things are great, this is what we did today’.” Hickie says knowing the accompanying friends was essential. 

Aileen Hickie: ‘A short-distance trip with the school, with trusted family members or to a friend’s holiday home was a pre-requisite before letting them off to Tenerife.’ Photo: Alan Betson / The Irish Times

“One of mine, at almost 18, took a big trip to Canada. She went with long-time friends we knew well — the last thing you want is your child falling out with friends in the first six hours.”

She always liked to have a connection with her child’s friends’ parents, as well as phone numbers of the friends. “So I could text and say, ‘Is such-and-such OK? I presume you’re all together?’”

Conversations around not bowing to peer pressure and being respectful of others were part of the preparatory groundwork, and Hickie always made sure her kids had emergency plans and phone numbers.

“There would have been a lot of guidelines in place. And I’m not saying there weren’t a few rows along the way when suggestions weren’t followed.”

She acknowledges feeling nervous all the way. “It’s such a big leap for parents — your child going to a different country with friends. The trust you’re placing in them, in their friends, in the travel, in where they’re going to.”

Teens are younger now than before

With Leaving Cert 2026 set to finish on June 23, many parents will be feeling hugely anxious about the post-exam holiday, something child and adolescent psychotherapist Colman Noctor completely understands. 

“It’s usually the first time the young person has gone on anything remotely as independent,” he says. “And teens are younger now than before — in the ‘90s 14-year-olds were babysitters, now 14-year-olds need babysitters.”

He sees the post-Leaving Cert holiday catapulting them into an independence they’ve never had. “They’ve probably been picked up from and dropped to school. They don’t go on public transport or budget. 

“So it’s quite a leap from what they’re used to. Alcohol, partying and late nights add another layer to parental anxiety.”

With the trajectory of development so varied between teens, Noctor sees age — the 18th birthday — as a very arbitrary basis on which to decide how your child will manage an independent week’s holiday abroad. 

What you’re looking for is readiness —their capacity to make sound decisions, to exercise foresight and reasonableness.

“If you leave them alone in the house while you go away for a night or two, how do they manage their diet? Do they have breakfast, a decent lunch, cook themselves something for dinner — or do they live on Oreos and orange juice ‘til you get back? How can they self-manage? Does their Revolut always run dry as soon as you put money in?

“So I’d look for a degree of being road-tested.”

IACP-accredited psychotherapist Katie Bird works primarily with adolescents and has a private practice in Navan. She says there is no legal teenage age at which a parent should not let their child go on holiday. 

“It’s more about readiness. Not ‘how old are they?’ but ‘are they able to manage if something goes wrong?’”

Age, she says, is a “rough safety framework” from which to begin, but it is much more about whether they can handle real-world responsibility. “Some 17-year-olds can be less prepared than some 15-year-olds.”

For parents not yet at the post-Leaving Cert holiday stage, who might be facing it next year, Bird agrees that gradual exposure before building to an independent holiday is vital.

“Build that ladder of independence. Start with school trips, sleepover in a relative’s or weekend in a trusted family home.”

During this process and leading up to the longer overseas trip, she says parents should assess their child’s maturity, judgement, emotional regulation and problem-solving ability. 

“Are they able to take on practical responsibility — manage their money, track their belongings so they’re not losing or misplacing things? How are they at managing transport and unfamiliar places?

“Are they able to get to places within a certain time, able to follow rules and come home on time?”

Considering their emotional maturity is also essential, she says. “Are they able to make reasonable, thoughtful decisions under peer pressure? How do they handle conflict? Do they panic easily?”

She recommends parents pay attention to their child’s communication ability. “Are they reliable around replying when you reach out to them [on the phone]? Will they proactively let you know if a plan changes?”

Another element is their personal safety awareness. “Do they have a basic understanding of their own personal safety? Do they choose their friends wisely? Are they aware of drugs, alcohol and online sharing,” asks Bird.

Communicate in an engaging way

Child and adolescent psychotherapist Cathy O’Donoghue says her son had gone on overnight concerts and city breaks with friends before venturing abroad. 

“He would text when he got back [at night] to his hotel or friend’s house. That was embedded in our communication. It built little nuggets of trust between us — I’d know ‘he’s in now, he’s fine’.”

O’Donoghue recommends that parents have an open conversation ahead of time about how their child plans to take care of themselves while away. 

Cathy O’Donoghue: ‘Sometimes they’re more clued in than we give them credit for, but the teen brain is still under construction so they’re not always able to do big picture thinking.’

“Rather than lecturing them, communicate in an engaging way: ‘This is a big adventure for you, I get that. Have you thought about this, or that, or what you’d do if?’” Such a chat provides a chance to gauge their risk-awareness.

“Sometimes they’re more clued in than we give them credit for, but the teen brain is still under construction so they’re not always able to do big picture thinking. Sometimes they’ll take risks. They mightn’t, for example, think of phone-charging or money-management.”

Pointing to the complex world today’s teens navigate — drugs, behaviour being captured on phones — she urges parents in pre-holiday chats to cover how their child plans to mind themselves and manage different situations that could arise.

“Do they have each other’s backs as friends? Do they know how vulnerable young people can be with too much to drink? Will they look out for each other so no one’s walking home alone?”

O’Donoghue says a big consideration is your teen’s ability to communicate and advocate for themselves. “Some would find it difficult to approach someone or make a phone call to ask for assistance if they ran into trouble.”

Bird agrees that preparation should be coaching, rather than interrogation. “For example, coach around how to leave an unsafe situation — who looks like a person you could go to? An information desk, police officer, shopkeeper?

“And teens should feel able to call home without fear of punishment if something goes wrong — that’s key.”

There will be benefits — and lessons learned on this first independent trip. O’Donoghue recalls big lessons in money management when she went to Majorca at 18 with a gang of girls. 

And, says Colman Noctor, there’s no foolproof way of sending them off with a guarantee that nothing will go wrong, or that they’ll enjoy themselves. “There are far too many variables you can’t control.”