16.
“I think it’s different for everyone symptom-wise, but the main thing is knowing something is not right and that you feel like you need help, regardless of how minute or inconsequential. For a more specific example, I felt like a failure as a mother, and a wife. I felt like nothing I did was very good enough and that my kids were better off without me. I could barely keep up with housework or handle my little one starting to explore the environment. I would get overwhelmed very easily. I would get so frustrated with myself that I would get angry very easily. I would cry a lot, feel sad, overwhelmed, angry, and numb. Sleep was sporadic at best (which did not help). I sought therapy after a night of no sleep and my little one was up in the middle of the night again crying and was inconsolable. I remember my husband trying to soothe baby but was still crying for mama. I ran back into the room screaming, “Put the baby up for adoption, I can’t do this anymore.”
“The look on my husband’s face said it all. I felt devastated and awful. My baby at that time was a year old. I didn’t realize you could get postpartum that long after. But I was also trying to wean baby off breast, and unbeknownst to us pregnant, then shortly after miscarried so my hormones were a hot mess.” — RozaHathaway