A mother who spent seven years going “back and forth” to doctors with excruciating periods and painful sex before being diagnosed with endometriosis says there “just isn’t enough care about women’s health”.
Franchesca Rafter, 34, said she would have to “lie on the bathroom floor” because of extreme period pain from the age of 12, and was prescribed the contraceptive pill a year later without any further investigation into her symptoms.
Franchesca, an associate director who lives in Surrey, also began experiencing digestive issues and pain during sex in her late teens and became “determined” to get answers.
She spent seven years visiting GPs at home and while at university before undergoing a laparoscopy in 2016, when she was diagnosed with endometriosis.
Franchesca said she spent seven years visiting doctors about her symptoms (Collect/PA Real Life)
Endometriosis is a condition where cells similar to those lining the womb grow elsewhere in the body, according to the NHS.
Franchesca said her consultant told her the condition could make conceiving difficult, prompting her to “re-evaluate” and end a relationship, feeling as though she “suddenly” had to plan her future.
When she met her husband, James, 35, he was supportive of her condition, and when they later began trying for a baby, Franchesca suffered two miscarriages and continued to experience painful sex.
She gave birth to her daughter, Aubrie, in 2024 and is now pregnant again, but hopes there will be more research and treatment options for endometriosis in the future.
Franchesca told PA Real Life: “There were a lot of doors shut in my face in terms of them saying it’s a period, and that is just what it is.
Franchesca and Aubrie (Collect/PA Real Life)
“They were able to create a blood test to diagnose prostate cancer, but a lot of women still have to have surgery to diagnose endometriosis.
“I do think it’s the system, there just isn’t enough care about women’s health.”
Franchesca said that from the age of 12, when she first started her periods, she would experience excruciating pain, to the point where she would have to “lie on the bathroom floor”.
After speaking to her mum about the pain at 13, she visited her GP and was prescribed the contraceptive pill to help ease her cramping.
Franchesca said this “barely helped”, but she continued taking it on her doctor’s advice.
Franchesca and her husband (Collect/PA Real Life)
By about the age of 17 she developed other symptoms, including digestive issues and pain during and after sex.
She spoke to her friends about it and began to realise they could be a sign of something more serious.
From then on, she was “determined” to get answers.
Over the next seven years, she went “back and forth” to several doctors while at home and at university.
During this time, her condition became “debilitating” and she would call in sick to work because of the pain.
Franchesca was prescribed the contraceptive pill at 13 (Collect/PA Real Life)
Then, in 2015, a consultant suggested she could have endometriosis and offered her a laparoscopy to diagnose the condition and remove any endometrial tissue found.
She decided to go ahead with the surgery, which took place in 2016.
She was subsequently diagnosed with endometriosis, with surgeons finding endometrial tissue in her pouch of Douglas, fallopian tubes and one ovary.
“It was a relief… but I was quite sad for my younger self because there wasn’t much information about endometriosis when I was younger, and they weren’t willing to investigate my symptoms from the beginning,” Franchesca said.
At the time, Franchesca was 24 and was not “considering having children in the immediate future”.
Franchesca went on to also experience digestive issues (Collect/PA Real Life)
But her consultant explained that having endometriosis could mean conceiving “could be difficult”.
She added: “I came away from the relationship I was in at the time and I would ask myself if I was serious about the other people I dated, because I knew the younger I tried to conceive, the more chances I would have.
“I felt like I suddenly had to start thinking about it, when it wouldn’t have been on my radar yet.”
When she met her husband James in 2017, Franchesca said she was “up front” about her condition and asked if he wanted children, to check they “were on the same page” and he was “really supportive”.
After the operation, sex became less painful and she experienced fewer symptoms, making her day-to-day life “much more manageable”.
Franchesca had a laparoscopy in 2016 (Collect/PA Real Life)
By 2021, the year she became engaged, her symptoms were “up and down”, and she would sometimes have to miss work or avoid having penetrative sex.
After getting married in 2022, Franchesca and James wanted to start trying for a baby.
She did “a lot of research” into how she could manage her symptoms and make sex “as comfortable as possible” while trying to conceive.
She came across Intimina’s kegel trainers – internal devices inserted into the vagina to help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles – and said they helped her body “relax”.
“It made me feel more confident in myself, and more in control,” she said.
In 2023, she suffered two miscarriages, one at six weeks and one at nine weeks, and “blamed” herself.
“I really punished myself, thinking I shouldn’t have put my career first and waited to have children,” she said.
Franchesca felt as though she ‘suddenly’ had to plan for her future after receiving her endometriosis diagnosis (Collect/PA Real Life)
“I was in such a bad mental state.”
After receiving support, in 2024 she and her husband decided to try again, and she fell pregnant with their daughter, Aubrie.
Throughout the pregnancy, Franchesca was “terrified”, and said the symptoms she experienced were “nothing in comparison” to her endometriosis-related pain.
“It was so weird, being pregnant was amazing because I didn’t get any of the endometriosis symptoms and I was so used to being in pain every month – I was given progesterone and I think that helped,” she said.
After giving birth, she “could not believe her eyes” when holding her daughter for the first time.
But, she said her first period was “excruciating”.
Franchesca hopes for more research into the condition (Collect/PA Real Life)
“It felt like revenge of the endometriosis because it was just so painful,” she said.
“I was throwing up a lot from the pain, my bowels were just a nightmare.
“Mentally, it put me in a really bad place because I was either breastfeeding or throwing up or being in pain on the floor.”
She is now pregnant again and due in October 2026, and “continues” to be “frustrated” by the lack of research and treatment options available for people with endometriosis.
She said: “We (women) are ultimately the reason why the human race is able to continue, and even if a cure wasn’t found, just more information and treatments to make it more manageable, other than contraception, would be amazing.”
Intimate wellness brand Intimina is urging women to speak up and raise awareness of endometriosis, which takes an average of eight years and 10 months to diagnose.
For more information, visit: Intimina.com.