My daughter seems to be tired all the time since starting college last month. She has a long commute and classes all day, so it’s not surprising. 

In the last week, she has started to say she feels too tired to eat and has gone straight to bed when she gets home. What would you suggest?

This question has many layers, from a medical and a parenting point of view. I find it helpful to consider it from three different angles. 

These would be the medical, the mood or emotional, and the social (we have a lovely phrase for this in general practice, called the biopsychosocial model of care).

Medically, fatigue is a very common symptom, with infinite causes. She may well be fatigued as her body adapts to a new routine of early morning travel, commuting, and the intensive setting of college. 

I would also be keen on making sure that she is trying to get enough sleep, although this can be very difficult to encourage in college students, if my own college life was any guide. 

If the fatigue doesn’t improve after the sleep levels have been addressed, or if there are other worrying signs, such as being very pale or losing weight, then seeing your GP for some blood tests would be a good idea.

Psychologically, starting college can be a difficult transition. You are suddenly propelled into a situation where you are expected to take full responsibility for your education, explore and expand extracurricular interests, and often, as with your daughter, commute long distances. 

These changes can cause anxiety or depression, and I would advise talking openly with your daughter about the transition.

Some people feel they can’t ask for help when starting college, because they are expected to ‘adult’ their way out of any issues. This should be encouraged, as it shows they can overcome obstacles. 

However, there is obviously a limit to the stresses they should encounter. College health services often provide strong support structures to help first-year students acclimatise to this new way of life and are an excellent resource.

Socially, college life can be hectic, particularly at the start of the year, when everyone is in good form, no one has exam dread yet, and events are nonstop. 

This can promote an unhealthy lifestyle, which can have negative effects on mood and energy levels and also cause significant gastrointestinal upset. This may not apply to your daughter’s case specifically, but it is something to discuss, if possible.

Regarding her inability to eat because she is too tired, a practical solution could be to prepare a large, nutritious, packed lunch the night before. This will mean she can have a proper meal during the day and have one less thing to worry about while in college.

Having an open, supportive relationship with your child can make things easier.

Let her know she can talk to you, and, hopefully, this will all settle down as she adjusts to the new routine and lifestyle.

  • If you have a question for Dr Phil Kieran, please send it to parenting@examiner.ie