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Stock photo of a couple arguingNEED TO KNOW
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A 26-year-old mother of two said she caught her boyfriend in a “big lie” involving another woman
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While the couple attended therapy to rebuild trust, he planned to travel for his brother’s bodybuilding competition
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She said the trip triggered severe anxiety, leaving her torn between guilt and feeling betrayed
A woman sought support from the Reddit community following a painful breach of trust that left her anxiety spiraling as her partner prepared to leave town.
In her post, she explained that just a few weeks earlier, she had “caught [her] boyfriend in a BIG lie” that involved his female coworker being alone with him inside their shared home.
She said she had been “across the country for the holiday” when it happened, making the discovery even more jarring. The poster admitted she didn’t know whether he would have cheated, saying, “I know her personally and have never gotten that vibe,” yet the situation raised unsettling questions she couldn’t ignore.
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Even though he insisted that “nothing happened,” the fact that he hid the coworker’s presence shattered her trust. She wrote that it felt “weird AF” that his coworker had been alone with him in their house, and the lie that followed made her feel even more uneasy about their relationship.
Now, the couple had started both individual and couples therapy as they tried to rebuild what was broken. She shared that she hadn’t yet decided whether the relationship would continue, saying the future “is more so based on how things go.”
In the midst of this healing process, her boyfriend planned to leave town for a weekend to attend his brother’s bodybuilding competition. She said she expressed her discomfort multiple times over the previous two weeks, telling him “it is not a good time” for him to travel and that she wished he wasn’t going.
He repeatedly reassured her with, “It will be fine I promise,” but the anxiety persisted. She emphasized that she didn’t believe he would cheat on the trip since “his grandmother is staying in his hotel room,” yet the thought of him leaving still felt overwhelming.
The night before his departure, the emotions came to a head. She told him directly, “I did not want him to leave town this weekend,” and explained how she “couldn’t shake” the anxiety. When he again insisted she didn’t need to worry, she broke down, asking why she had to feel this way.
She reminded him that he had “put us into this situation,” and now she was the one suffering while he still got to do something he wanted. The conversation became tense as she waited for him to make a choice, and eventually he relented, saying, “Fine, I’ll text my brother that I can’t go.”
The moment he said it, she began crying even harder. She explained that she felt guilty, worrying she was taking away his brother’s “biggest support person” during such an important milestone. She added that she and his brother were close and that she knew how hard he had worked for the competition.
Her boyfriend admitted he felt trapped either way. She shared that he told her “regardless of what decision he makes, he loses,” because staying home would disappoint his family and going would damage their already fragile relationship.
Even with that context, she didn’t want him to stay out of obligation or pressure. She said, “I wanted him to make that decision himself,” hoping he would recognize the emotional weight of the situation without needing it spelled out.
At the same time, she felt torn because she didn’t want his brother to feel unsupported. She explained that she “cannot help to feel guilty,” even though she knew logically the situation wasn’t her fault.
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Her frustration deepened when a commenter suggested that if she couldn’t trust him even while sharing a hotel room with his grandmother, the relationship may already be over. The commenter asked what she was “working so hard to save,” noting that he was responsible for the broken trust.
The poster clarified that she didn’t fear cheating on the trip itself, saying, “I know he isn’t going to cheat on me while staying with his grandmother.” For her, the issue was rooted in anxiety and the lingering hurt from the betrayal, adding that “it just feels unfair that I have to feel this way.”
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She also revealed that she was “5 months post partum” and caring for two children, making the emotional strain even heavier. As she weighed letting him go or asking him to stay, each option felt like its own kind of loss.
In the end, she wondered whether she would be wrong “if he stays behind on my account,” caught between wanting to rebuild trust and not wanting to be the reason he missed an important family moment.
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