I Genuinely Can’t Watch “When Harry Met Sally…” The Same Way After Learning These 40 Facts

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Rob Reiner‘s tragic death has had me thinking about the movie a lot — so I took a deep dive into the making of When Harry Met Sally…, and discovered a lot of interesting, hilarious, and heartwarming facts along the way:1. Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron initially met over lunch so Rob could pitch her a different movie, but she rejected it before they’d even ordered. A woman and a man sit on a sofa engaged in conversation. On-screen text identifies them as a writer and a director, respectively The next time they met, she rejected another idea of his. When he then briefly mentioned he was interested in exploring the way sex can ruin a friendship between a straight man and woman, Nora got excited and immediately knew how she’d structure the movie. Two people sitting on a couch having a conversation in a casual setting 2. Nora Ephron interviewed both Rob Reiner and producer Andrew Scheinman about their dating lives for inspiration for the script, describing it as a “horrifying experience.” Three men in jackets stand at an event, looking to the side. A fourth person is partially visible behind them

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3. While Nora Ephron worked on a number of drafts of the script, Rob Reiner shot both Stand by Me and The Princess Bride, before coming back together with Nora to focus on developing and making When Harry Met Sally…

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4. The character of Harry was very heavily inspired by Rob Reiner and his experience of being single after divorce (from Penny Marshall, with whom he was married from 1971 to 1981). Bald man in a suit and tie with a mustache, scratching his head with a thoughtful expression

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“Harry Burns is basically Rob Reiner,” Nora Ephron said. “He was neurotic, he was in love with his neuroses, and it was very charming and funny. So I just thought — that’s Harry.”

5. Meanwhile, Sally was partially inspired by Nora Ephron, and many of her quirks, including her particular way of ordering food, came straight from the screenwriter herself. A person wearing a plaid jacket over a turtleneck and skirt, smiling, standing outdoors at night

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Rob Reiner told her, after witnessing her ordering one day, “This has to be in the movie.”

6. It was Rob Reiner’s idea to include the documentary-style interviews with couples throughout the movie — he was inspired to do so after asking entertainment executive Alan Horn’s dad how he met his wife, and watching the reserved old man light up. Elderly man and woman sitting on a couch, holding hands and smiling, with floral wallpaper in the background

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The interviews in the movie were used to reinforce the idea that “everyone has a story,” and that Harry and Sally’s was just another story.

7. The old couples are all actors, but the stories they tell were inspired by real people — mostly people at the production company that Nora Ephron interviewed. An elderly man in a suit and tie sits next to an elderly woman in a blouse and glasses, both smiling at the camera in a formal setting

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The exception was the story of the first couple that appears, in which the man talks about seeing his wife for the first time and saying to his friend, “See that girl? I’m going to marry her,” and two weeks later, they were married. That story was the original one that inspired the interstitials, told by Alan Horn’s father.

8. The creative team had trouble deciding on a title for the movie, and Rob Reiner even ran a competition amongst the crew on set, offering a case of champagne for whoever could come up with a title that stuck. Two people seated closely, smiling warmly. The person on the left wears a turtleneck, and the person on the right wears a knit sweater

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9. Titles used before the final one was decided on included “Scenes From a Friendship,” “How We Met,” “When They Met,” “Boy Meets Girl, “”Just Friends,” “It Had To Be You,” and “Harry, This Is Sally” — which was the one Nora Ephron liked best, even more than When Harry Met Sally… Two people are having a conversation on a sofa. The person on the left gestures while speaking 10. Rob Reiner said he didn’t like the title When Harry Met Sally until he came up with the idea to add an ellipsis at the end. “The three dots were a big thing for me,” he said, revealing that once he added them, When Harry Met Sally… became the title for him. Movie poster for "When Harry Met Sally" shows a man and woman facing each other, cityscape below. Text asks about friendship and love

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11. Even though he thought Billy Crystal would make a good Harry from the start, Rob Reiner talked to several actors about the role — including Albert Brooks, Tom Hanks, Richard Dreyfuss, and Michael Keaton — before offering it to Billy.

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The pair had been best friends since playing onscreen buddies in All in the Family, and Rob was worried that casting Billy as Harry might put their friendship at risk if something went wrong in the movie. Billy, meanwhile, really wanted the role but thought Rob wasn’t interested in him for it, since he was talking to so many other actors. Two people in a living room. One man wears a patterned pastel sweater; the other has a mustache and wears a button-up shirt, gesturing with his thumb

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12. Molly Ringwald auditioned for the role of Sally. Person wearing a dark hat and textured sweater, smiling warmly at the camera

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13. When Harry Met Sally… was Meg Ryan’s first leading role, and she dropped out of Steel Magnolias , in which she was signed on to play Shelby, in order to play Sally (Julia Roberts, of course, took on the role of Shelby in Steel Magnolias in her place). Two women smiling at each other, adjusting a corsage. They are in a room with a collage of photos on the wall behind them

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14. Billy Crystal said there was just one problem with working with Rob Reiner as a director: “He laughs during the takes.” Three people in a park having a conversation, dressed warmly in coats and hats. Background shows autumn trees and a blurry person holding a bowl

“I ruin a lot of takes,” Rob agreed. Lisa Jane Persky, who played Sally’s friend Alice, said of Rob’s laugh, “That’s the face you most want to see beside the camera at the end of a scene.”

15. Rob Reiner was concerned Billy Crystal would come off as too “sweet” for Sally’s instant dislike of Harry to feel believable, so he added the part where Harry rudely eats grapes when they first meet, and Billy added the detail that he’d be spitting the seeds at the window. Person in a car seat looking sideways with a neutral expression, holding a cluster of grapes

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“That’s what gave Harry a little bit more abruptness,” Rob said. “Billy and I just came up with that on set as we were doing it.”

16. In one scene, Harry can be seen reading Stephen King’s Misery, the adaptation of which would be Rob Reiner’s next movie. Person in a cozy setting reads Stephen King book, wearing a chunky knit sweater and sweatpants, with a cityscape visible through the window

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17. Billy Crystal improvised the funny voice and “pecan pie” line Harry does in the museum scene, and Meg Ryan was so thrown she glanced at Rob Reiner off-camera, but he indicated she should roll with it, so she did. They did two more takes after Meg knew what was happening, but none felt as special as the first one featuring her real surprise and spontaneity, so that’s what ended up in the movie. Woman with wavy hair smiles while talking to a man, wearing a textured top and tailored blazer. Background features abstract sculptures

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18. A lot of the Pictionary scene was improvised — Rob Reiner told Meg Ryan she had to draw “baby talk,” but let her decide how to depict it, and was pleased when the final drawing was “so perfectly unclear.” The guesses from the guests were all real and improvised by the actors, too, including Bruno Kirby’s iconic, “baby fish mouth!” A person in a sleeveless top points at scribbles on a large whiteboard with "BABY" written on it

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19. The infamous fake orgasm scene came about after Rob Reiner and Andrew Scheinman challenged Nora Ephron to tell them something they didn’t know about women, since she’d been grilling them about men. She told them “women fake orgasms,” to which Rob responded “not with me,” and Nora said “absolutely with you.” A person in a kitchen with hanging pots, wearing a patterned sweater and open cardigan, looking to the side

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Rob still didn’t believe her, and did an “unscientific survey” of the women he worked with — all who confirmed it was a real thing. The exchange directly inspired the scene in the movie.

20. In the initial script, the scene didn’t include Sally actually faking an orgasm, but Meg Ryan suggested she should do it, and it was then decided the moment should happen in an “incongruous place” — which is how it became set at Katz’s Deli. A restaurant scene with a waitress taking orders from a man and woman at a diner table, featuring bustling background patrons

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21. It was Billy Crystal who came up with the idea that a fellow customer would say the line, “I’ll have what she’s having.” A person with curly hair and a beard smiles warmly while seated in a casual setting, wearing a patterned sweater

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22. Rob Reiner decided his mother, Estelle Reiner, should be the actor who delivered the line. When he told her the moment might not make it into the final movie if it wasn’t funny enough, she said, “It’s OK, I just like spending the day with you.” I don't know who these people are, but the image shows two older individuals sitting in a restaurant, appearing engaged in conversation

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Of course, the line did stay in the movie, and went on to become an iconic moment. “It’s my favourite thing that [my mother is] now in the AFI top 100 most memorable lines in movies,” Rob said. “That she’s in there with Brando and Humphrey Bogart.”

23. Even though acting out the fake orgasm had been her idea, Meg Ryan was nervous to shoot the scene in front of so many people. She planned out how she’d do it in her hotel room the night before. Woman with curly hair sits at a diner table holding a sandwich, talking to a man in a sweater, surrounded by other diners

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24. The morning they were due to shoot the scene, Meg Ryan’s nerves remained, and she went to Billy Crystal’s trailer to talk it through. She told him she wasn’t comfortable in what she was wearing, and took a sweater from his wardrobe, which is what she’s wearing in the final scene. Two people sit facing each other in a busy diner, deep in conversation, with food and drinks on the table. Diners are seen in the background

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25. The first two or three takes that Meg Ryan did of the fake orgasm were “tepid,” so Rob Reiner sat in front of Billy Crystal to show Meg how he wanted her to do it — basically acting out a huge orgasm himself. He later said to Billy, “I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have done that….I just had an orgasm in front of my mother.” Four people pose on a red carpet; one waves. They wear formal attire, including suits and a patterned coat. They appear pleased

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26. The fake orgasm scene gave the movie an R rating, which Nora Ephron described as “ludicrous.” Person with curly hair appears to be mid-sentence, seated in a crowded indoor setting

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27. At a royal screening of the movie in London, Princess Diana apparently thought the scene, and the whole movie, was very funny, and arranged for a private screening for herself and her friends at Buckingham Palace. A group of people in formal attire on a red carpet. A woman in a patterned gown is smiling as she meets others in tuxedos and evening dresses

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28. The movie gave Harry Connick Jr. his big break and his first Grammy. Rob Reiner had asked him to do the music for the film after being given his demo by a friend. Four men in a recording studio with musical instruments and audio equipment, collaborating on the soundtrack for a film

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29. Tracy Reiner, Rob Reiner’s eldest daughter, whom he adopted during his marriage to her mother, Penny Marshall, appears in the movie as Emily, Harry’s younger girlfriend — something Billy Crystal described as “slightly awkward,” since he had known her since she was a little girl. Two people are kissing in an indoor setting, with one wearing a shirt and suspenders

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30. For the scene where Harry and Sally separately speak to Jess and Marie on the phone, and there’s a three-way split-screen, the actors filmed it simultaneously on three adjoining sets on one soundstage, delivering their dialogue in real time with no cuts, which meant that if something went wrong, they all had to start over again. Four people are each on a phone call, three in bed and one standing with an anxious expression. The scene suggests a comedic group call

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Rob Reiner said somewhere around the 50th take, they got it perfectly, only for the sound guy to reveal it had been ruined by the rustling of birds in the rafters. They got rid of the birds and continued filming, finally capturing the complete scene from the movie on the 61st take. Three people in separate scenes are talking on corded phones. The middle pair sits in bed, while the right individual lies under a floral duvet

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31. In the first draft of the script, Harry and Sally didn’t get together in the end or even repair their friendship — the sex they had did, in fact, ruin it. “In the original ending, they drifted apart and then ran into each other one day on the street years later, and chatted about where their lives went, walked away, and the camera pulled up,” Rob Reiner said. Two people stand talking on a leaf-covered path in a park during autumn, surrounded by trees with fall foliage. One person wears a hat and coat

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32. “That to me has always seemed like — forgive me — the true ending,” Nora Ephron said of the original ending, in which Harry and Sally go their separate ways. Person seated in a well-lit room, wearing a turtleneck sweater, smiling with a relaxed pose. Books and a lamp are visible in the background

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She added that she always told people when they said they had their own “Harry” or “Sally” and it wasn’t working out, “Don’t let the movie fool you, those people don’t really get together in real life.”

33. Rob Reiner said the original “unhappy” ending felt right to him, too, as he couldn’t see a way Harry would ever get in another serious relationship — until he met his future wife, Michele Singer, while filming the movie. Falling in love with her made him realize, “it made sense that Harry and Sally could get together,” and the happy ending was confirmed. A person with a beard and suit gestures while a woman in elegant attire stands beside him at an event, surrounded by other attendees

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34. Rob Reiner later described meeting Michele Singer on set as like another one of the love stories shown in the movie. Before filming began, director of photography Barry Sonnenfeld had told Rob, “I have a friend in New York. Her name is Michele Singer. You’re going to marry her.” A man and woman smiling at an event, with the man waving at the camera. The woman wears a patterned off-shoulder dress

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Rob initially dismissed the remark, but months later he was drawn to a visitor on set, only to learn it was Michele Singer, there to have lunch with Barry Sonnenfeld and his wife. Rob invited himself to lunch, and he and Michele were married seven months later. Two people at a Human Rights Campaign event. One wears a classic suit, the other a stylish black outfit with layered necklaces

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35. Rob Reiner said that, next to meeting his wife, the best thing to come out of making When Harry Met Sally… was that his friendship with Billy Crystal got even deeper, despite his initial concerns it might ruin their friendship. Group of people posing at an event; one person is wearing a suit jacket, another a patterned dress, and a third smiling in a suit

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36. Billy Crystal wrote much of the final speech in which Harry declares his love for Sally, including the detail about the crinkle above her nose and the line, “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” A person with a surprised expression points to their forehead, possibly in disbelief or realization, amid a blurred background of people

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37. Rob Reiner’s voice can be heard in the scene kicking off the countdown to the new year. Scene from a movie with a woman in a strapless dress and necklace, talking to a man at a party

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38. Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal totally improvised the “interview” scene featuring Sally and Harry. A man and woman sit on a sofa. The man wears a suit and tie, and the woman wears a white top with tousled hair, both smiling warmly

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39. After the success of When Harry Met Sally… Rob Reiner, Nora Ephron, Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan would occasionally discuss a potential sequel. But they all agreed every time that it was “perfect as is.” Two people standing side by side indoors. The woman has styled hair and wears a light top. The man has short hair and wears a checkered shirt

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40. On the 30th anniversary of the movie in 2019, Rob Reiner said that Harry and Sally would still be together. “That doesn’t mean they haven’t had tremendous ups and downs or been on the verge of divorce and got back together, just like any relationship. But I do think they’re still together.” Two people sit at a deli table enjoying sandwiches, with a retro interior and deli counter in the background Billy Crystal added, “For all of us who believe in happily ever after, that’s where they live.” Two people sit together, both looking content. The person on the left wears a sweater, and the person on the right wears a wrap-style top