When people ask me if I can sing (which comes up sometimes as I’m a performer by trade), my response is “I can carry a tune.”
It’s an answer I’m comfortable with, because I know I CAN sing, but by the same token I know a lot of true, capital S Singers and I wouldn’t dare put myself in their category.
That said, even I’d probably get annoyed if those capital S Singers were capital S Singing *all the time.*
I (F20) have been dating my girlfriend, let’s call her Angie (F21), for about nine months now, and I genuinely adore her.
She’s kind, smart, funny, and just overall a wonderful person.
I really do feel lucky to have her in my life.
Here comes the but. Or rather, the “that said.”
That said… she loves to sing.
Like, all the time, but especially in the car.
And to be clear, she’s incredibly talented.
She’s done choir throughout school, she’s a musical theatre major, and she truly has an amazing voice.
Most of the time, I love hearing her sing and perform.
It’s something I admire about her cause god know I cant hold a tune to save my life.
And here comes the other but. Or rather, the “however.”
However, when we’re driving together, it honestly gets on my nerves.
I don’t mean every now and then, it’s constant.
For example, the other night we were driving home from a mutual friend’s place.
I put on some music in the background and started talking asking her about her day.
As soon as there was a lull in the conversation, she turned the music up and started singing.
I let it go for a song or two, but when turned it back down and tried to resume the conversation, she gave me a one-word answer, turned it up and went right back to singing.
This kind of thing happens all the time.
I try not to be overly sensitive about it, but it makes me feel like she’s not interested in talking to me.
It gets a little insulting too.
I’ve brought it up a couple of times, but she usually brushes it off and tells me that it just passes the time, which it does, for her…meanwhile I’m driving next to what feels like a brick wall.
Sometimes I try to sing along, but she’ll say something like “It’s not a duet” in a joking way but I know she means it.
What is she to do?
I really do love her, and I don’t want to make her feel like she can’t be herself around me but I also don’t want to feel ignored every time we’re in the car together.
So am I the [jerk] for wanting her to dial it back a bit in the car?
The comments pondered it out. Some, of course, came out swinging:
Others pointed out some specifics:
Kid, your audience isn’t into it.
We’ve all met this girl.
Swap out singing for some other talent and the problem becomes clear.
I’m a pretty good improv comedian, if I do say so myself. But if I spent entire car rides asking for location suggestions and improvising monologues, I’d be rightfully ejected from the car.
There’s a time and a place, ma’am.
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