Sorcha is up to pretty much 90. It\u2019s the night of Honor\u2019s debs and we\u2019re all waiting for her date, Iarlaith \u2013 yeah, no, a girl \u2013 to arrive. Sorcha\u2019s old pair are here, as well as my old man, then 10 or 11 of Sorcha\u2019s friends and half the Vico Road. <\/p>\n
Me and Sorcha are in the kitchen, putting caviar and cr\u00e8me fra\u00eeche vol-au-vents on to plates, and she\u2019s saying she still wishes that Honor would change her mind and wear her old debs dress. <\/p>\n
\u201cA friend of mine from college posted an old photograph on Instagram of her in her debs dress,\u201d she goes, \u201cand then her daughter wearing it 30 years later! It got, like, thousands of likes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cWell, it\u2019s not about that, Sorcha.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know it\u2019s not about that, Ross. I\u2019m just making the point.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFashions change \u2013 that\u2019s all I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSays the man who\u2019s been wearing chinos and boat shoes since 1995.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ouch.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cQuality never goes out of style, Sorcha.\u201d<\/p>\n
And she\u2019s there, \u201cYeah, well, I ran a boutique in the Powerscourt Townhouse Centre that Trinny Woodall described as a must-visit. I don\u2019t need you to stort lecturing me about fashion.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, maybe calm down, Babes.\u201d<\/p>\n
She\u2019s there, \u201cI stayed up all night altering the dress so it\u2019d fit her. She\u2019d look amazing in it.\u201d<\/p>\n
And I\u2019m like, \u201cShe told you to shove it up your orse \u2013 twice, in fact.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI still hope she\u2019ll have a change of hort. Tiffany blue has always suited her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think she\u2019s going to have a change of hort, Sorcha.\u201d<\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cHave you seen the dress she bought?\u201d<\/p>\n
And I\u2019m there, \u201cNo, it was in a Brown Thomas bag \u2013 and she went straight up to her room with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
She\u2019s like, \u201cI tried to sneak into her room for a peek, but she had the door locked.\u201d<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s when the doorbell ends up ringing. Sorcha jumps like she\u2019s had an electric shock.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019ll be Iarlaith and her parents,\u201d she goes. \u201cOh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cSorcha, you need to chillax.\u201d<\/p>\n
So we answer the door and \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 we put on a bit of a show.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cWelcome to our humble abode,\u201d even though it\u2019s humungous and worth six mills.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh! My! God!\u201d Sorcha goes, looking Iarlaith up and down. \u201cYour dress is stunning!\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cI\u2019m Ross, by the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
And Iarlaith\u2019s old dear goes, \u201cI\u2019m Caoimhe and this is my husband, Ken.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cAnd you must be Iarlaith.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nShe\u2019s one of those people who always knows the right thing to say \u2013 a bit like me, in fairness<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
She\u2019s a looker. Honor clearly takes after her old man in that regord.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you\u2019re Ross,\u201d she goes. \u201cHonor talks about you \u2013 oh my God \u2013 all the time!\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cDid you hear that, Sorcha? Honor talks about me all the time!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThese are for you,\u201d the girl goes \u2013 and she hands Sorcha a bunch of flowers.<\/p>\n
She has nothing for me, but it\u2019s not a major deal. I certainly don\u2019t mention it.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cAnyway, come in,\u201d and we lead them down the hallway to the livingroom, where the porty is in full swing.<\/p>\n
The old man goes, \u201cHello there! Iarlaith, is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
And Iarlaith\u2019s like, \u201cAnd you must be Chorles! I was so sorry to hear about your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
She\u2019s one of those people who always knows the right thing to say \u2013 a bit like me, in fairness. <\/p>\n
Sorcha\u2019s old dear collars her then to admire her dress, leaving me, Sorcha and the old man alone with Iarlaith\u2019s old pair.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is all very, um, exciting, isn\u2019t it?\u201d the old man goes \u2013 can\u2019t help himself. \u201cOf course, I voted for it \u2013 and so did Fionnuala.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cVoted for what?\u201d<\/p>\n
He goes, \u201cMarriage equality, Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n
And I\u2019m there, \u201cThey\u2019re not getting hitched. They\u2019re going to their debs. Jesus, can everyone just, like, chill out?\u201d<\/p>\n
My phone suddenly beeps. Yeah, no, it\u2019s a text message \u2013 from Honor. It\u2019s like, \u201cCan you tell HER to come upstairs please?\u201d<\/p>\n
I turn to Sorcha and I\u2019m like, \u201cHonor wants to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cOh my God! Is it for a sneak look at the dress?\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cShe didn\u2019t go into detail \u2013 just wants to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n
So Sorcha heads off and the old man \u2013 he\u2019s such an embarrassment \u2013 mentions that he often drank in Bortley Dunne\u2019s back in the day.<\/p>\n
No one knows what to do with this information. But a minute or two later, Sorcha is back, grinning like she sat on borbed wire and is waiting for the pain to hit.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n
And she\u2019s like, \u201cShe said that whatever she bought wasn\u2019t really working \u2013 and she wanted to know if she could have my dress.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m like, \u201cWhoa! Plot twist!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sorcha fills Iarlaith\u2019s old pair in on the story.<\/p>\n
She goes, \u201cIt\u2019s, like, Tiffany blue,\u201d whipping out her phone and scrolling through her photos. \u201cI wore it for my debs in, like, 1998?\u201d and she hands the phone to Iarlaith\u2019s old dear.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, it\u2019s a beautiful dress,\u201d the woman goes.<\/p>\n
Sorcha\u2019s like, \u201cThanks \u2013 even though Ross ruined the photo by giving me bunny ears.\u201d<\/p>\n
Iarlaith\u2019s old dear \u2013 Caoimhe \u2013 shows it to Ken for his approval.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, yes,\u201d he goes, \u201cvery nice.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sorcha\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m going to post it on Instagram beside a picture of Honor wearing the same dress!\u201d<\/p>\n
And then \u2013 talk of the devil \u2013 I suddenly hear her coming down the stairs and I go, \u201cHere she comes!\u201d and every conversation in the room \u2013 literally? \u2013 stops.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re all, like, staring at the door, then it suddenly opens and in she walks.<\/p>\n
Sorcha\u2019s like, \u201cOh! My! God!\u201d<\/p>\n
And there\u2019s, like, genuine gasps in the room.<\/p>\n
Iarlaith goes, \u201cHonor! Oh my God! Like, wow!\u201d<\/p>\n
Yeah, no, my daughter looks absolutely stunning.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m there, \u201cIs that my tux?\u201d<\/p>\n
I haven\u2019t worn the thing since I crashed the Leinster Rugby awards dinner in 2022 to see Dan Sheehan \u2013 a bit of a prot\u00e9g\u00e9 of mine \u2013 pick up the Young Player of the Year award. <\/p>\n
Sorcha again goes, \u201cOh! My God!\u201d then she bursts into tears. And I don\u2019t know whether they\u2019re tears of happiness or the other kind until my eyes are suddenly drawn to Honor\u2019s pocket square. And even though I wouldn\u2019t be an expert on, like, colours, I\u2019m pretty sure you would call it Tiffany blue.<\/p>\n
\u201cHonor,\u201d Sorcha goes, \u201cdid you cut a hole in my debs dress?\u201d<\/p>\n
But Honor\u2019s just like, \u201cCome on, Iarlaith. Let\u2019s go. I want everyone to see us arrive.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sorcha is up to pretty much 90. It\u2019s the night of Honor\u2019s debs and we\u2019re all waiting for…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":103114,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[75],"tags":[18,117,19,17,361,64928],"class_list":{"0":"post-103113","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-eire","9":"tag-entertainment","10":"tag-ie","11":"tag-ireland","12":"tag-magazine","13":"tag-ross-o-carroll-kelly"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=103113"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103113\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/103114"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=103113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=103113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=103113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}