{"id":115060,"date":"2025-10-11T07:39:13","date_gmt":"2025-10-11T07:39:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/115060\/"},"modified":"2025-10-11T07:39:13","modified_gmt":"2025-10-11T07:39:13","slug":"from-timid-boy-to-leader-of-men-his-secret-is-leaning-into-discomfort-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/115060\/","title":{"rendered":"From timid boy to leader of men, his secret is leaning into discomfort \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

Andy Farrell<\/a> was a shy kid. It feels a bit mad to think of him like that now, all these years on, all those teams and trials and dressing-room speeches later. Man of Steel (twice). Challenge Cups and Grand Slams and Lions<\/a> tours. Mr Hurt Arena himself. Shy? Come on. <\/p>\n

But it\u2019s true. He tells a story of his first time going to a Wigan under-10 rugby league camp. All his friends played football and he didn\u2019t want to spend a week where he wouldn\u2019t know anybody. He really, really didn\u2019t want to go and had to be cattle-prodded there by his parents. He even wore a football jersey on his first day, his own small act of protest.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat sticks in my mind hugely,\u201d he says. \u201cMy kids now, they\u2019re all different. But just say my youngest, he goes away on holiday down the country to Cork<\/a> or wherever with friends\u2019 families the whole time. Not a bother on him at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhereas I remember going on holiday in a camper van with my friend\u2019s grandfather, to Blackpool. I didn\u2019t have a mobile phone obviously because I was only a kid. But I remember we had to get in touch with my parents to come and pick me up because I couldn\u2019t do it. I couldn\u2019t have a sleepover at somebody else\u2019s house because I just wanted to be home the whole time. <\/p>\n

\u201cI was just that way inclined. I was a homeboy. Fast forward to where we are now, I suppose there\u2019s a nice theme there of putting yourself out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to do these type of things more and more.\u201d<\/p>\n

That Wigan camp when he was nine is a small story in Farrell\u2019s new memoir, The Only Way I Know. But even as you\u2019re reading it, it feels like a key moment. Not just because it was his first time playing rugby league \u2013 he had no way of knowing he\u2019d become one of the greats of the sport. But also because fighting through the shyness seemed to give him a template for everything else. <\/p>\n

\u201cThe easy decision would have been to stay with my mates playing football,\u201d he writes. \u201cHad I done that, I suspect I would have continued to take the easy path through life. But I decided to commit to rugby league and ever since then I have looked for challenges to broaden my experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"AnAn 18-year-old Andy Farrell on the charge for Wigan against Castleford in March, 1994. Photograph: Allsport UK <\/p>\n

And how. Just seven years later, Farrell had two monumental life experiences happen in the space of a couple of months. On September 24th, 1991, his girlfriend Colleen had their first child, a boy they named Owen. (Fun fact \u2013 they were going to spell it Eoghan but Colleen\u2019s mum got them to spell it the English way, to \u201cmake it simple for him when he\u2019s at school\u201d). Then, on November 24th, 1991, Farrell made his first-team debut for Wigan. <\/p>\n

He was 16 years old. If you think men\u2019s rugby league is tough at that age, try being a teenage parent. Now try doing both things at the same time. While it wasn\u2019t exactly the challenge he and Colleen had gone looking for, it says a lot about Farrell\u2019s approach to life that they got through it and came out the other side stronger than ever. <\/p>\n

In that context, it\u2019s probably no surprise that one of the coaching principles he preaches is being comfortable in chaos. When Ireland<\/a> won the Grand Slam in 2023<\/a>, there was that Scotland game where the injuries piled up to such an extent that Cian Healy packed down at hooker and Josh van der Flier threw into the line-out. Famously, Farrell said afterwards that the whole dressing-room was laughing at half-time at the extent to which disaster had struck.<\/p>\n

But they were ready for it because he insisted they be ready for anything. It\u2019s been a theme of his whole life. You meet challenges, you rise to them, you move on. You fail, you succeed, you keep going. Whether it\u2019s overcoming shyness to be the best player at an under-10 camp or losing half your pack and still winning in Murrayfield, it\u2019s as if he consciously leans into discomfort. Bring it on. <\/p>\n

\"\"How many Ireland jerseys are up for grabs ahead of the Autumn Nations Series?<\/p>\n

\u201cOne hundred per cent, yeah,\u201d he says. \u201cWhat has been very interesting for me doing the book is obviously the reflection on all that. From where you started to where we are now, even if it\u2019s just subconscious, it\u2019s shaped you, hasn\u2019t it? There\u2019s no doubt about that. I think I\u2019m more comfortable just being myself nowadays.\u201d<\/p>\n

By extension, being yourself is what he asks of his players. Which isn\u2019t always as easy as it sounds. One of the things Farrell tried hard to bring in when he took over from Joe Schmidt as Ireland head coach was an environment where there was no such thing as a stupid question. People say that kind of thing in workplaces the world over. Actually meaning it is a different thing. Getting players comfortable with it is harder again.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause it\u2019s not a manly thing to do to show yourself up, is it?\u201d he says. \u201cFor a man or woman, it\u2019s not what we want to do. We don\u2019t want to bring attention to ourselves within a crowded room. It doesn\u2019t matter whether it\u2019s at work or in a rugby environment or school or whatever \u2013 if you\u2019re in a room where everyone\u2019s paying attention to one thing, some people can decide not to speak up at all.<\/p>\n

\"LionsLions head coach Andy Farrell and his son Owen Farrell (right) during preparation for the second Test against Australia in Melbourne in July.
\nPhotograph: Dan Sheridan\/Inpho <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I hate that in a team environment. I hate the fact that people are just quiet and not contributing. Because the point is, we\u2019re all trying to do this together. And whatever I\u2019m presenting to them, just because it\u2019s me saying it doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s fact or it\u2019s a God-given right that that\u2019s what we\u2019re going to do. <\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s changed over the years, 100 per cent it\u2019s changed. Society has changed so much in that respect and team environments have with it. Back in the day, you used to ask a question that you\u2019d think was a good question and apparently they were all stupid!<\/p>\n

\u201cThe distance from then to now is vast. But that\u2019s a bit of learning, isn\u2019t it? I always start off with: \u2018What is it that you want to achieve?\u2019. You want to achieve people working together that makes something even more powerful than the individual. That allows them to think that what they\u2019re trying to achieve is possible by contributing. That way, you make sure that you all own it, rather than just a few of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He hasn\u2019t always got it right, which is all part of it. The famous Hurt Arena speech, made as defence coach to the 2013 Lions? It\u2019s become part of Lions lore \u2013 inspirational, macho, a This Is Your F***ing Everest, Boys for the 21st century. But Farrell cringes when he thinks of it now. \u201cI am embarrassed because it was not me,\u201d he says in the book. \u201cI wasn\u2019t being authentic.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s his north star, when it\u2019s all boiled down. Authenticity. Be who you are. More than that, understand who you are. Explore it, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. Then go and use it to its best effect.<\/p>\n

One of the most powerful parts of the book details the Monday night in the lead-up to the France game in the 2023 Six Nations<\/a>. Farrell arranged for Brian O\u2019Driscoll<\/a> and Craig Doyle to come into camp and talk about their Shoulder To Shoulder documentary, delving into the history of rugby on the island, north and south of the Border. It turned into a highly emotional night for everyone.<\/p>\n

Davy Irwin talked about his experiences as a player from Ulster during the Troubles. History professor Paul Rouse did a Q&A. One by one, the players in the room opened up about a subject that is basically never talked about. Keith Earls said he gets pats on the back from the public for not singing Ireland\u2019s Call and only singing Amhr\u00e1n na bhFiann. \u201cI am embarrassed,\u201d he said. \u201cNow I know the truth about the shirt and what it is all about.\u201d<\/p>\n

Farrell\u2019s idea hadn\u2019t been about embarrassing anybody. It was about getting them all to buy into something, to capture the authentic emotion of what they were all here for. He passed around an Ireland rugby jersey and told them it had endured things no other country had to overcome. He knew it could have backfired. He did it anyway.<\/p>\n

\"IrelandIreland sing the national anthem ahead of the 2024 Six Nations match against Scotland at the Aviva Stadium in Dublin. Photograph: Charles McQuillan\/Getty Images <\/p>\n

\u201cI obviously know Irish history,\u201d he says. \u201cThere\u2019s Irish connections on both sides of my family so I\u2019ve always been interested in it. And I grew up in the era of a lot of things going on. So when I came over here, I was trying to delve a little bit deeper into it, from a rugby point of view, mainly. I started asking the question to people that I knew would know everything about it.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the common answer was: \u2018Andy, don\u2019t go there\u2019. But from a rugby point of view, I\u2019m definitely going there because this is unbelievably powerful, in a brilliant way. How it unites and unity and courage and all that. <\/p>\n

\u201cThat meeting was before the France game. And I was seeing lads in tears . . . It mattered so much to them to be Irish and who they were representing and playing for. I didn\u2019t care whether we won or lost that week. I knew further down the track that we were going to be able to harness it more and use it more. Because it\u2019s truth. It\u2019s a good story, as in from a rugby point of view. Irish rugby stayed steadfast throughout everything. Why would you not embrace something that powerful?\u201d<\/p>\n

Andy Farrell has seen an awful lot of life in his 50 years on the planet and it gives him a healthy sense of perspective. He loves to harness emotion but he obviously doesn\u2019t get too up or too down. Leading the Lions to a series win in the summer was everything he\u2019d hoped it would be but when it was done, it was done. By his own admission, he isn\u2019t great at celebrating big wins. They\u2019re always anticlimactic, he reckons.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause the satisfaction is in the journey,\u201d he says. \u201cIt\u2019s in the preparation and getting to a point where you\u2019re watching your team either do things properly, not too good, average or brilliant. And then once that\u2019s done . . .<\/p>\n

\u201cEven now, I have people coming up to me and saying, \u2018Oh well done with the Lions, it must have been great, you must be delighted, blah, blah, blah\u2019. And in my head I\u2019m going, \u2018I\u2019m on to New Zealand!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Clicking back into Ireland mode was the easiest thing in the world. The six months between last year\u2019s November internationals and the naming of the Lions squad in May was the longest Farrell has gone without coaching since he retired from playing in 2009. Lions head coaches usually take a 12-month sabbatical \u2013 Farrell insisted on eight. If he could have got away with less, he would have.<\/p>\n

\"LionsLions head coach Andy Farrell celebrates with his wife Colleen Farrell after victory in the second Test against Australia on July 26th in Melbourne. Photograph: Billy Stickland\/Inpho <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I\u2019m a coach, you know? I\u2019m not a director of rugby. I think everyone knows the difference. I love being on the field, I love being part of a team. I love the challenges of the ups and downs and solving problems and all of that. <\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of people on the tours, because you\u2019re out there, they go to Singapore, to Fiji, to Bali, to whatever. I came straight back. Because decompression is something that\u2019s got to be navigated. You need time to reflect. You also need time to turn the page. Also, you need to get all your planning work done so that now you can relax.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I had three or four weeks doing all that, getting my ducks in a row and all the planning and organising for what needs to be done. And then me and Colleen went away on our own. We went away and did nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

And how long did doing nothing last, Andy?<\/p>\n

\u201cFive or six days! I get itchy feet . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

So now he\u2019s back. Ireland head coach again, a huge November on the horizon. New Zealand, Japan, Australia and South Africa all in the space of 21 days, with trips to and from Chicago thrown in for good measure. Six Nations in the spring, the new Nations Championship in New Zealand in the summer, then straight into another World Cup year. <\/p>\n

Onwards, always. Whatever is put in front of him.<\/p>\n

The Only Way I Know by Andy Farrell, published by Sandycove on October 16th at \u20ac25. Andy will be in conversation with Joe Molloy on Monday, October 12th. Details and tickets here – An Evening with Andy Farrell<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Andy Farrell was a shy kid. It feels a bit mad to think of him like that now,…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":115061,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[70904,18,19,17,34132,70905,132],"class_list":{"0":"post-115060","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-sports","8":"tag-andy-farrell","9":"tag-eire","10":"tag-ie","11":"tag-ireland","12":"tag-ireland-rugby","13":"tag-lions-tour","14":"tag-sports"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=115060"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115060\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/115061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=115060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=115060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=115060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}