Dear Annie: My daughter-in-law never forgives or forgets anything that\u2019s happened in her 13 years of marriage to my son. As a result, she punishes us by keeping us from our grandchildren, who love us dearly. Sometimes my son FaceTimes with us when she\u2019s not home, but otherwise, we can go three to four months without seeing our grandkids if we say even one word or make one expression she doesn\u2019t like.<\/p>\n
To avoid fights, my son just goes along with it. This year, I wasn\u2019t even allowed to see my granddaughter for her birthday. I cry all the time because at my age, I may not have many years left with them.<\/p>\n
It feels like our daughter-in-law doesn\u2019t have a heart. We may not be perfect, but why can\u2019t she understand that the kids are the ones who suffer most by the distance she creates? — Locked-Out Grandma <\/p>\n
Dear Locked-Out: Your daughter-in-law is steering the ship here, and your son has chosen to follow her lead. As much as you\u2019d love to be more active in your grandkids\u2019 lives, you risk being shut out entirely if you push too hard. Your best bet is to be gracious and diplomatic, even if you don\u2019t think she deserves it.<\/p>\n
At the same time, keep a close, strong bond with your son. Tell him how much you value time with the grandkids, but don\u2019t put him in the middle with ultimatums. Respecting their boundaries may buy you more of those FaceTime calls.<\/p>\n
This isn\u2019t forever. One day your grandchildren will be old enough to decide what their relationship with you looks like. Until then, stay patient, loving and steadfast — that\u2019s what they\u2019ll remember.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?\u201d is out now! Annie Lane\u2019s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:\/\/www.creatorspublishing.com<\/a> for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM<\/a><\/p>\n If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement<\/a> and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and\/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Annie: My daughter-in-law never forgives or forgets anything that\u2019s happened in her 13 years of marriage to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":145794,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[75],"tags":[86038,27121,1012,86039,86040,86041,3083,86042,86043,86044,86045,73531,86046,62806,36730,86047,27125,12280,4737,11021,51950,7715,11408,86048,86049,86050,86051,18,86052,117,86053,42087,86054,86055,86056,789,19,86057,27130,17,86058,27131,3521,86059,86060,27132,27133,86061,12440,10269,86062,237,432,6330,86063,86064,86065,2431,173,44313,80739,86066,70054,48952,86067,86068,50569,86069,86070,384,86071,9223,86072],"class_list":{"0":"post-145793","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-14-15-years","9":"tag-35-39-years","10":"tag-adolescence","11":"tag-adversity","12":"tag-african-american-ethnicity","13":"tag-anger","14":"tag-anxiety","15":"tag-arguing","16":"tag-argument","17":"tag-armchair","18":"tag-asian-ethnicity","19":"tag-attitude","20":"tag-brunette","21":"tag-chair","22":"tag-challenge","23":"tag-chinese-ethnicity","24":"tag-color-image","25":"tag-communication","26":"tag-concern","27":"tag-conflict","28":"tag-contemplation","29":"tag-daughter","30":"tag-day","31":"tag-difficulty","32":"tag-disagreeing","33":"tag-disagreement","34":"tag-domestic-life","35":"tag-eire","36":"tag-emotional-stress","37":"tag-entertainment","38":"tag-family-with-one-child","39":"tag-fighting","40":"tag-focus-on-foreground","41":"tag-frustrating","42":"tag-frustration","43":"tag-horizontal","44":"tag-ie","45":"tag-ignoring","46":"tag-indoors","47":"tag-ireland","48":"tag-irritation","49":"tag-jersey-city","50":"tag-lifestyle","51":"tag-living-room","52":"tag-looking-away","53":"tag-mid-adult","54":"tag-mid-adult-women","55":"tag-mixed-race-person","56":"tag-mother","57":"tag-new-jersey","58":"tag-one-parent","59":"tag-people","60":"tag-photography","61":"tag-problem","62":"tag-problems","63":"tag-relationship-difficulties","64":"tag-sadness","65":"tag-sitting","66":"tag-stress","67":"tag-struggle","68":"tag-teen","69":"tag-teenage-girl","70":"tag-teenage-girls","71":"tag-teenager","72":"tag-tension","73":"tag-three-quarter-length","74":"tag-together","75":"tag-two-people","76":"tag-unhappiness","77":"tag-united-states","78":"tag-waist-up","79":"tag-woman","80":"tag-worried"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":"Validation failed: Text character limit of 500 exceeded"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145793","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145793"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145793\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145794"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=145793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=145793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}