{"id":169633,"date":"2025-11-08T11:23:08","date_gmt":"2025-11-08T11:23:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/169633\/"},"modified":"2025-11-08T11:23:08","modified_gmt":"2025-11-08T11:23:08","slug":"its-all-right-for-you-honor-goes-you-can-have-any-woman-you-want-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/169633\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018It\u2019s all right for you,\u2019 Honor goes. \u2018You can have any woman you want\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">The front door slams and the entire orangerie \u2013 built without planning permission at the height of the Celtic Tiger \u2013 shakes to its foundations. Sorcha\u2019s eyes meet mine. Ten seconds later we hear Honor\u2019s bedroom door slam too and we both silently wonder whether the structure will stay standing for what\u2019s left of our daughter\u2019s teenage years.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cOh my God,\u201d Sorcha goes, \u201cwhat is wrong with that girl now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cWho knows? I suppose one of us should probably go and check on her,\u201d and that\u2019s followed by, like, 10 seconds of silence. \u201cIt\u2019s hopefully one of those things that a daughter can only talk to her mother about.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">Sorcha\u2019s like, \u201cHonor and I don\u2019t have that kind of relationship, Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">After a further 10 seconds of silence, I stand up and go, \u201cFine, I\u2019ll see to it, will I?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">And Sorcha\u2019s like, \u201cThanks, Ross.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">So \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 up the stairs I tip and then I\u2019m standing on the landing outside her room.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cHonor, I just wanted to check was this door definitely shut.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">Because I can be very funny at times.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cFock off and leave me alone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cI\u2019m coming in, okay?\u201d and I slowly push the door.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph b-it-article-body__interstitial-link\">[\u00a0<a aria-label=\"Open related story\" class=\"c-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.irishtimes.com\/podcasts\/ross-ocarroll-kelly\/honors-date-for-the-debs-is-a-looker-she-clearly-takes-after-her-old-man-in-that-regord\/\" rel=\"noreferrer nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Honor\u2019s date for the debs is a looker. She clearly takes after her old man in that regordOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">Honor is in bed with her head under the duvet and I can hear her \u2013 yeah, no \u2013 sobbing her hort out?<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cYou were shit at rugby,\u201d she goes, which is something she says when she\u2019s lashing out. \u201cThat\u2019s why you never made it in the game. You were useless. That man, something Gatland, knew what he was doing when he said you would never play for Ireland as long as he was the coach.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cI could point out some of the things that were said by other critics who saw me in my prime, including the likes of Matt Williams and George Hook. But I\u2019ll choose to ignore what you said instead.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cYou\u2019re also a shit father,\u201d she goes. \u201cYour sons are out of control and your daughter is coming home pissed on a Tuesday night.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">Actually, now that she says it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cHonor,\u201d I go, \u201care you jorred?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She doesn\u2019t even, like, try to deny it?<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She\u2019s like, \u201cWhat focking business is that of yours?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cI suppose none.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cThen you suppose right,\u201d because she has an answer for everything.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I sit down on the side of her bed and I\u2019m like, \u201cHonor, what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She\u2019s quiet for ages, then she pulls back the duvet and finally shows her face.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cI got dumped,\u201d she goes.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">Her make-up is all over the shop \u2013 like Claudia Winkelman after a water balloon fight.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cDumped? By, em\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She\u2019s like, \u201cYes, Dad, by my girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote cite=\"Ross\" class=\"c-stack b-it-article-body__pullquote\" data-style-direction=\"vertical\" data-style-justification=\"start\" data-style-alignment=\"unset\" data-style-inline=\"false\" data-style-wrap=\"nowrap\">\n<p class=\"c-paragraph\">I can\u2019t imagine what my life would be like without you in it. A lot quieter, probably<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 \u00a0Ross<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I try to dig down into my well of experiences for something to tell her. But the truth is I\u2019ve never been dumped in my life. Thankfully, I\u2019ve always been the dumper rather than the dumpee. <\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cWell, aren\u2019t you going to say something?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cLook, I know what you\u2019re going through.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She\u2019s like, \u201cNo, you don\u2019t. I bet you\u2019ve never been dumped in your life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cI\u2019m sure I must have been. I\u2019d have to rack my brains.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She buries her face in the pillow then \u2013 it\u2019s going to definitely need a wash \u2013 and she goes, \u201cI wish I was never born.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m like, \u201cDon\u2019t say that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cIt\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cI can\u2019t imagine what my life would be like without you in it. A lot quieter, probably.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She laughs, in fairness to her.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cAll I can say is, if she dumped you, Honor, then she\u2019s a fool.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">Which isn\u2019t strictly true. It\u2019s just one of those things you say. I said from the very stort that the girl was way out of Honor\u2019s league in terms of looks.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m like, \u201cDid she give you a reason?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cI know the reason. She\u2019s totally out of my league in terms of looks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cWell, I\u2019m calling bullshit on that one \u2013 straight away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cDad, how can I make her like me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I should tell her the truth \u2013 that you can\u2019t make someone like you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">But I\u2019m there, \u201cHave you considered trying to be with one of her friends to make her jealous?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m not into any of her friends. And they\u2019re not into me. It\u2019s all right for you \u2013 you can have any woman you want.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">It\u2019s a lovely thing for me to hear \u2013 even though I know this conversation isn\u2019t technically about me?<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cDo you really think?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cYou\u2019ve always been able to get women. Like, look at Mom. How has she stayed with you for all these years when you\u2019re such a wanker and a terrible husband?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cOkay, you can\u2019t give someone a compliment and then go taking it back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph b-it-article-body__interstitial-link\">[\u00a0<a aria-label=\"Open related story\" class=\"c-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.irishtimes.com\/podcasts\/ross-ocarroll-kelly\/i-think-you-should-have-a-conversation-with-honor-about-her-drinking-sorcha-goes\/\" rel=\"noreferrer nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">\u2018I think you should have a conversation with Honor about her drinking,\u2019 Sorcha goesOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">There\u2019s, like, silence between us then.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cHonor, the drinking\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cDad,\u201d she goes, \u201cI don\u2019t want a lecture.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201c\u2013it can\u2019t go on like this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cI know, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I hold her hand and I\u2019m like, \u201cThe right girl is out there for you, Honor. And I\u2019m being serious.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She smiles at me and goes, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I said you were a shit father.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m like, \u201cHey, it\u2019s cool.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">\u201cYou\u2019re an amazing father,\u201d she goes. \u201cIn fact, you\u2019re more like a best friend than a parent \u2013 a best friend who lets me do whatever the fock I want.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cThat\u2019s given me a huge boost, Honor. What about the shit you said about my rugby?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She laughs.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She\u2019s like, \u201cFine \u2013 you were a great rugby player.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cThe likes of Gordon D\u2019Arcy and Shane Jennings have said it on the record.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cEven though you never actually achieved anything in the game.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m like, \u201cThere were factors. There were definitely factors.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">Me and Honor, we just, like, get each other?<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She goes, \u201cDad, can you please not tell Mom that I came home drunk?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">I\u2019m there, \u201cI don\u2019t know, Honor. What kind of husband would I be if I kept a secret like that from my wife?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">She\u2019s like, \u201cThe kind of husband I saw giving his phone number to one of the waitresses in the restaurant three nights ago.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-paragraph paywall \">And I\u2019m there, \u201cYour secret is sealed in the vault, Honor. It\u2019s sealed in the literally vault.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The front door slams and the entire orangerie \u2013 built without planning permission at the height of the&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":103114,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[79,18,19,17,361,64928],"class_list":{"0":"post-169633","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-business","8":"tag-business","9":"tag-eire","10":"tag-ie","11":"tag-ireland","12":"tag-magazine","13":"tag-ross-o-carroll-kelly"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@ie\/115513825989790733","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169633","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=169633"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169633\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/103114"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=169633"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=169633"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=169633"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}