The reason? On Saturday\u2019s Strictly, the woman who just a few days earlier was describing herself as an \u2018uncoordinated little duck\u2019 turned into a swan before our very eyes. An angry swan, granted, all sinew and fury. Vicky\u2019s tango \u2013 powerful and passionate \u2013 stole the show, and got the highest score of the night.<\/p>\n
The judges, who had watched her tremble and shake through early performances, were as stunned as she was. Anton Du Beke<\/a> declared the dance \u2018perfect\u2019.<\/p>\n Hard-to-please Shirley Ballas<\/a> gave a standing ovation and agreed. Motsi Mabuse<\/a> told her: \u2018You are on fire.\u2019 Craig Revel Horwood<\/a>, being Craig, had a tiny quibble about hand placement, but still awarded her a nine, \u00adgiving an overall score of 39.<\/p>\n What had fuelled such an unexpectedly brilliant performance? \u2018Feminine rage,\u2019 she said, as she leapt around the Clauditorium in glee. She wasn\u2019t entirely joking.<\/p>\n \u2018The tango is a dance that is full of passion and fire,\u2019 she explains today. \u2018Kai saw the theme of this dance as a difficult break-up and, for the couple we were playing, this was their final conversation before she was done with him for ever, full of \u2013 yes \u2013 feminine rage.<\/p>\n \u2018I feel like I have spent 20 years of my life being mad at men at times, so I just tapped into all that.<\/p>\n \u00a0On the cusp of turning 38,\u00a0Vicky Pattison says she is\u00a0\u2018proud of the woman she is becoming\u2019<\/p>\n Vicky says she channelled years of being angry for her powerful tango with Kai Widdrington on the latest episode of Strictly<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ve felt like a fish out of water quite a lot in this competition and it was nice that, even for a moment, I felt almost at home on the dance floor.\u2019<\/p>\n She also says she has spent much of her time since bursting into \u2018sporadic tears\u2019. Happy ones, yes, but also tears of relief.<\/p>\n This is a woman who had a lot to prove \u2013 to herself as much as to others.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a moment in our interview where she gets a little choked up, saying she is \u2018proud of the woman she is becoming\u2019. Given that she turns 38 on Sunday, this is a striking thing to say. Technically, she has been a woman for two decades, surely?<\/p>\n \u2018Oh I was a girl until I was 30. Until I was in my 30s, I didn\u2019t know who I was. I\u2019m still working out a lot of it. And I came into Strictly with zero self-belief. I never thought I would measure up. I worried I\u2019d be the joke, that I\u2019d embarrass myself, that I\u2019d been too much for people. Too loud. Too . . . everything.<\/p>\n \u2018Most of the doubts were about the \u00adphysical aspect \u2013 I danced like an ironing board with arms \u2013 but also the popularity thing.<\/p>\n \u2018The BBC is a relatively new space for me. Some of the people watching won\u2019t know who I am; others are aware and don\u2019t like me, or are unsure of my past. I can\u2019t change their opinions.\u2019<\/p>\n Those people, of course, will remember Vicky for all the wrong reasons. She came to fame, aged just 23, as \u2018Queen Vicky\u2019 \u2013 one of the most \u00adoutspoken drama-magnets in MTV reality show Geordie Shore, set in Newcastle close to her hometown of Wallsend.<\/p>\n Pattison won the 15th season of I’m a Celebrity… in 2015 – now she’s aiming to lift the famous Glitterball<\/p>\n Pattison came to fame, aged just 23, as \u2018Queen Vicky\u2019 \u2013 one of the most outspoken drama-magnets in MTV reality show Geordie Shore<\/p>\n Vicky suffers from a condition called PMDD \u2013 premenstrual dysphoric disorder, a hormone-related condition that causes extreme mood swings, anxiety and depression<\/p>\n Back then she was a young woman never too far from a drunken fight, romantic hook-up or on-screen emotional breakdown. \u2018Feral\u2019 is how she describes her past self and, although she has worked hard to leave those days behind, you get the sense they linger in her own head.<\/p>\n For instance, she says she had \u2018never danced sober\u2019 before signing up for Strictly. She also worried that the \u2018chaos\u2019 she tends to bring with her would, literally and metaphorically, trip her up. Her worst fears seemed to be materialising, given how she collided with Kai during that Charleston.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ve never been a very graceful person. That\u2019s not how anyone would describe me. I\u2019m quite \u00adaccident-prone, quite awkward and that Charleston did have a sense of chaos \u2013 at least the way I did it,\u2019 she admits. \u2018We went wrong into a lift and I collided with the back of his head, poor fella.\u2019<\/p>\n She hoots with laughter. \u2018I hope I\u2019ll just need a bit of composite filler, and I\u2019ll get my Hollywood gnashers back.\u2019<\/p>\n The non-dentistry reinvention of Vicky Pattison has been happening for at least the past decade, though. She left Geordie Shore in 2014 but the \u00adfollowing year won I\u2019m A \u00adCelebrity, charming the public with her sense of humour and \u00adunfiltered personality. Since then, she has become a Loose Women panellist and fronted a series of documentaries, one exploring her father\u2019s alcoholism and her own drinking habits, another looking at the deep fake porn industry.<\/p>\n All have required a turning back to reflect on her own life and career with the benefit of maturity.<\/p>\n She seems fully aware that she\u2019s still a Marmite personality though, someone people either love or loathe. \u2018I\u2019m not everyone\u2019s cup of tea \u2013 but I am some people\u2019s shot of tequila,\u2019 she quips.<\/p>\n What\u2019s remarkable is that at some point on her journey, she\u2019s turned into a bona fide campaigner on women\u2019s issues. She laughs a little today at how people still hesitate to use the \u2018f\u2019 word (feminist) when describing her.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019ve been with my husband Ercan [Ramadan] for eight years now, and I\u2019ve always been vocal. One day I was going on about something and I could see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye and he said, \u201cYou\u2019re a feminist, aren\u2019t you?\u201d and he was saying it as if it was a bad thing. But yeah, I f***ing am. And I\u2019m proud of it. He knows now that I won\u2019t stand for disrespect, for \u00adsexism, for any of it. I\u2019m very lucky to have found a man who supports me in that.\u2019<\/p>\n What happened before Ercan? \u2018Well, I\u2019ve definitely had a chequered dating history,\u2019 she says, which is a neat way of summarising the very public car crash that was her love life. Her past relationships have included an engagement to Geordie Shore co-star Ricci Guarnaccio (which ended with him asking for his ring back), a break-up with ice hockey player James Morgan (who was later arrested and jailed for two years for a house robbery) and a fling with fellow reality star Stephen Bear (who was jailed in 2023 after sharing a sex tape without the consent of his then-girlfriend Georgia Harrison).<\/p>\n On that one, Vicky once reflected: \u2018Love is blind or, in my case, blind, deaf and stupid.\u2019 Among the ones who got away was Spencer \u00adMatthews, whom she met on I\u2019m a Celebrity. Although they enjoyed a date, after which he bought her 100 red roses, the union was doomed, reportedly because he couldn\u2019t understand her accent.<\/p>\n She had all but given up on men when she was introduced to Ercan \u2013 a builder, turned reality star on The Only Way Is Essex \u2013 by friends. Last year they got married, but it has been a roller-coaster ride.<\/p>\n Vicky suffers from a condition called PMDD \u2013 premenstrual \u00addysphoric disorder, a hormone-\u00adrelated condition that causes extreme mood swings, anxiety and depression. For her whole adult life, she had been unsure whether the regular \u2018lurching\u2019 into darkness had a physical or psychological \u00adexplanation. She was convinced it was the former, even if the medical establishment didn\u2019t agree.<\/p>\n \u2018I saw five doctors over five years before anyone took me seriously,\u2019 she says. \u2018I was told everything from \u201cwomen\u2019s periods get worse as they get older\u201d to \u201ctry losing weight\u201d.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019d leave appointments crying. I was offered antidepressants. It makes you feel insane \u2013 like you are weak, or can\u2019t cope.\u2019<\/p>\n She learned about PMDD through social media and sought a private diagnosis. \u2018When the doctor said \u201cyes, this is real\u201d, I cried with relief. I finally knew I wasn\u2019t broken.\u2019<\/p>\n If Vicky\u2019s \u2018feminine fury\u2019 hadn\u2019t been acknowledged before, it was now. She started to investigate what support there is for women with PMDD and other female \u00adreproductive health issues, and reached out to others on her social media accounts. Women got in touch, in their thousands, telling horror stories. \u2018I could afford to go private. I had a supportive partner and flexible work. What about the women who don\u2019t?<\/p>\n \u2018One of the things that really made me angry was discovering that we spend more money on researching male pattern baldness than we do on women\u2019s \u00adreproductive health.\u2019<\/p>\n Last month, she took her findings \u2013 including other women\u2019s stories \u2013 directly to Wes Streeting, the Health Secretary. \u2018Honestly, I didn\u2019t expect him to take me seriously,\u2019 she admits. \u2018I\u2019m just a lass from Wallsend, not a politician or a \u00addoctor. But he did. He listened.<\/p>\n \u2018He\u2019d had a family member go through something similar. He told me he wanted to help tackle \u00admedical misogyny in the NHS. I came out of that meeting thinking, \u201cThis is what I\u2019m meant to do.\u201d \u2019<\/p>\n There is no \u2018cure\u2019 for PMDD, but the ability to cope with it comes in understanding the condition and explaining it to others \u2013 husbands, children, employers.<\/p>\n \u2018Before I knew what it was, I spent years trying to be the cool girl \u2013 to look like I had it all together,\u2019 she says. \u2018But I\u2019ve \u00adrealised there\u2019s real power in \u00advulnerability. We tell women not to be emotional, not to cry, not to be \u201ctoo much\u201d.<\/p>\n \u2018But being open about what hurts you doesn\u2019t make you weak; it makes you human. Now, I deal with it by talking about it, telling my \u00admanager that if we can move that big meeting it would be great.<\/p>\n \u2018Maybe let\u2019s not have any live TV experiences at a time I know will be problematic. There are things that help \u2013 clean eating, exercise. The best way I\u2019ve heard it described is that you spend your life building this sandcastle of good habits, then your PMDD wave comes and sweeps it all away. And all that\u2019s left is hopelessness and despair. And every month you have to rebuild.\u2019<\/p>\n At her lowest point, PMDD has led Vicky to have suicidal thoughts. She details one episode that happened in the very recent past \u2013 even, shockingly, as she was preparing to go on Strictly.<\/p>\n \u2018There was a night, earlier this year, when I was alone in the house with the dogs,\u2019 she recalls. \u2018Ercan was out playing football with his mates. I had to ring him and say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what I am capable of right now.\u201d He stayed on the phone, reminding me of all the good things in our life \u2013 the dogs, our holidays, our family. I couldn\u2019t see any of that in that moment. I was lost.\u2019<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t have a specific plan of how she was going to hurt \u00adherself, or worse, she says, but is convinced that Ercan keeping her on that phone saved her life.<\/p>\n \u2018I felt that the world would be better off without me,\u2019 she says, quietly. \u2018It wasn\u2019t that I wanted to die. It was that I couldn\u2019t imagine living like that any longer.\u2019<\/p>\n How has Ercan learned to cope? \u2018He\u2019s never had depression, so he can\u2019t fully understand, but he tries. He\u2019s learned to see when the fog is coming \u2013 that\u2019s what I call it \u2013 and he\u2019s patient. When I\u2019m not myself, he reminds me that it\u2019s not me talking, it\u2019s the condition. That\u2019s love, isn\u2019t it? To stay steady when the person you love disappears for a bit. I couldn\u2019t do this without him. He\u2019s the calm in my chaos.\u2019<\/p>\n It seems a bit flippant to ask about the Strictly experience in all this, but surely the pressures \u2013 not least of live TV \u2013 must add to the stress? \u2018He\u2019s been brilliant. When I come home from \u00adrehearsals knackered, he\u2019s got the dinner on and a bath run.\u2019<\/p>\n Their relationship has, inevitably, been the subject of tabloid speculation, especially after she joked in one interview about being \u2018too tired for sex\u2019 during Strictly. \u2018Poor Ercan,\u2019 she cringes. \u2018He\u2019s very private and I\u2019m a \u00adfoghorn. \u2018There\u2019s no \u201csex ban\u201d, and I still fancy the pants off him, but I\u2019m just shattered. When I get home at 10pm, I just don\u2019t have the energy for the old \u00adMattress Mambo.<\/p>\n \u2018Maybe I should be the sort of woman who says, \u201cOh yes, I get home at 10pm to make a home-cooked meal and read stories to the kids and make sure my \u00adhusband is happy in all regards, but that\u2019s not me, mate. We don\u2019t pretend to be perfect.<\/p>\n \u2018There are compromises. There are weeks we barely see each other. But we\u2019re a team. He\u2019s proud of what I\u2019m doing \u2014 even when I\u2019m moaning that I\u2019ve got blisters and have chipped a tooth.\u2019<\/p>\n Actually, they don\u2019t have kids. Once, she would have seen the fact that they don\u2019t have children as a failure. In her hometown, she says, it was \u2018expected that you\u2019d get married and have kids by 30, and if you didn\u2019t you\u2019d have failed\u2019.<\/p>\n So she found turning 30 \u00ad\u2018hideous\u2019. \u2018I\u2019d just come out of a relationship. I\u2019d been conditioned to think everything was going to go downhill \u2013 looks, fertility, career. But my 30s have actually been the best years of my life.<\/p>\n \u2018I met my husband, I bought a house, I adopted my dog, I found a career I\u2019m proud of. I was a girl until I was 30 \u2013 now I\u2019m a woman, and I like her. Society scares women into thinking life ends at 30. It\u2019s rubbish.\u2019<\/p>\n In 2022, Vicky made the momentous decision to freeze her eggs, a process she shared with her five million followers on Instagram. She was trolled by some, but still believes she did the right thing partly because Ercan is five years younger than she is and \u2018wasn\u2019t ready\u2019; partly because she herself was dealing with quite enough. \u2018I want to be the best mother I can be, and it\u2019s given a sense of \u00adliberation not to be beholden to someone else\u2019s timeline.\u2019<\/p>\n Her success on the dancefloor \u2013 and all this talk of her \u2018feminine fury\u2019 \u2013 has turned her into something of a heroine. Her social media is awash with fans posting content with captions like, \u2018This is what women in their 30s look like when they stop apologising.\u2019<\/p>\n Vicky smiles at that. \u2018I love that people see me that way. I want women to know they don\u2019t have to have it all figured out. You can still surprise yourself.\u2019<\/p>\n For confidential support call the Samaritans on 116123, go to samaritans.org or visit a local Samaritans branch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"So this is what happens when you work out how to channel feminine rage: you find yourself topping…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":178080,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[75],"tags":[118,18,117,23224,19,17,3521,100933],"class_list":{"0":"post-178079","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-dailymail","9":"tag-eire","10":"tag-entertainment","11":"tag-geordie-shore","12":"tag-ie","13":"tag-ireland","14":"tag-lifestyle","15":"tag-vicky-pattison"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@ie\/115541233653776590","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/178079","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=178079"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/178079\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/178080"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=178079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=178079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=178079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"On](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/103827537-15285241-image-m-42_1762972710948.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Vicky](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/103827539-15285241-Vicky_says_she_channelled_years_of_being_angry_for_her_powerful_-m-1_176298039946.jpeg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Pattison](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/103827535-15285241-image-m-45_1762972746435.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Pattison](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/103827541-15285241-image-m-47_1762972768516.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Vicky](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/103827533-15285241-image-a-48_1762972784216.jpg\")
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