{"id":227338,"date":"2025-12-11T11:54:13","date_gmt":"2025-12-11T11:54:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/227338\/"},"modified":"2025-12-11T11:54:13","modified_gmt":"2025-12-11T11:54:13","slug":"a-guide-to-navigating-the-emotional-hotspots-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/227338\/","title":{"rendered":"A guide to navigating the emotional hotspots \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whoever manages PR for Christmas<\/a> deserves a hefty holiday bonus. The festive season is neatly packaged into glossy images of beautiful families in matching pyjamas straight out of a Hallmark movie.<\/p>\n

This is a big fat Christmas turkey lie, and the Colgate smiles we see on TV and social media don\u2019t match the complex realities and pressures of life. For many, Christmas can be wrought with emotional overload and the pressures of perfectionism. It can stir up memories of loss, loneliness or challenging relationships, leaving our mental wellbeing<\/a> like the gift forgotten under the tree.<\/p>\n

The truth is this \u2013 you\u2019re allowed to protect your peace, especially at Christmas.<\/p>\n

Life coach and author Mark Fennell says Christmas comes with a \u201csilent rule book\u201d most of us never signed up to. \u201cThis is called social expectation bias, when we feel there is a certain way we need to conform to socially,\u201d he says. \u201cIt leads to us massively overestimating what others expect from us. Add years of childhood conditioning, of keeping the peace and not rocking the boat; we live with this expectancy that we must love Christmas \u2013 otherwise, we are \u2018failing\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Catherine Tierney, bereavement clinical manager at the Irish Hospice Foundation<\/a>, adds: \u201cEverywhere we turn, we\u2019re bombarded by unrealistic portrayals of how things should be. Everything looks gorgeous and happy, and the families are all functioning perfectly. These days, we\u2019re bombarded even earlier, so the pressure may start earlier. The reality is that families are complex, especially when there\u2019s been a loss.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Callers to Samaritans worried about spending Christmas aloneOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Family therapist Catherine Rountree says that \u201cmany of my clients choose to set up appointments with me for just before Christmas, and then after to debrief. That is their acknowledgment that Christmas is not easy, and needs to be managed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhether you decide to see family or do it alone, you can plan towards it and put some self-care boundaries in place. If you ask yourself what you want, give yourself permission to hear the answer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Managing the pitfalls <\/p>\n

Practice saying no: <\/b>\u201cYou have a right to say \u2018no\u2019 if you want to,\u201d says Fennell. \u201cMost people react better to clarity than to guessing what you really mean. If someone pushes back, it doesn\u2019t mean your boundary is wrong, it just means they have a different expectation than you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He suggests some simple but firm phrases to practise: <\/p>\n