{"id":244053,"date":"2025-12-21T08:53:13","date_gmt":"2025-12-21T08:53:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/244053\/"},"modified":"2025-12-21T08:53:13","modified_gmt":"2025-12-21T08:53:13","slug":"i-didnt-know-it-was-going-to-be-like-this-its-beautiful-here-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/244053\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I didn\u2019t know it was going to be like this. It\u2019s beautiful here\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the lobby of Roscommon Hospice there\u2019s a Christmas<\/a> tree and a kind woman with a visitors\u2019 book. <\/p>\n

Margaret Coakley\u2019s daughter-in-law died three years ago in a hospice in Westmeath and she started volunteering here soon after. She thinks it\u2019s important that families are greeted by someone who knows what they\u2019re going through. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can see on people\u2019s faces they\u2019re scared to come in the door,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019ve been there. Once they get to meet everyone they relax. There\u2019s a lovely atmosphere here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Roscommon<\/a> Hospice opened in 2023. It\u2019s the only hospice governed by a hospital. <\/p>\n

You can see Roscommon University Hospital from the door. \u201cThe original plan was to build it in the grounds,\u201d says the chief executive of the Mayo Roscommon Hospice Foundation Martina Jennings. \u201cOne day I was walking across and saw an overgrown gateway at the top of the road. And I thought \u2018that site is perfect\u2019. So I walked from the door of the hospital to here and then the door of the hospital to the original site and it was the exact same distance.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was entirely financed by fundraising. \u201cPeople with buckets,\u201d says Jennings.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe first thing we do now is tell people it\u2019s free,\u201d says Geraldine Keane, the manager of Roscommon Hospice. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s amazing how they worry. I saw a woman one time and her husband was here eight days and when she was leaving, she said, \u2018I\u2019ll be here to fix up the bill tomorrow\u2019. It was just missed, she wasn\u2019t told. Imagine the worry she had for eight days.\u201d <\/p>\n

[\u00a0A day in a hospice: \u2018Will I last until Christmas?\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Keane gives me a tour. We pass the social worker\u2019s office, the physical therapy room, a playroom for children or grandchildren of patients (a play therapist works with them to help them understand what\u2019s happening), the canteen, the complementary therapy room, the nicely laid out visitor\u2019s room, the mortuary.<\/p>\n

\"GeraldineGeraldine Keane, manager of Roscommon Hospice, says the first thing people are told upon arriving is that the facility is free. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/ The Irish Times <\/p>\n

In an equipment room she shows me a \u201ccuddle bed\u201d, a medical bed with a section that can be pulled out if a family member wants to lie with their loved one. \u201cWe\u2019ve had kids lie on it, and people\u2019s sons and daughters lie on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a beautiful garden with a stone water feeder and bird feeder created by Mark Feeley, a local stonemason. A 53-year-old man came to terms with his own death while planting the garden\u2019s first sunflowers, Jennings tells me. \u201cThrough that [the occupational therapist] got him to talk to his family, his wife … It was out in the open.\u201d<\/p>\n

Patients have very different attitudes to what they do and don\u2019t want to know. Some don\u2019t ask direct questions. Keane makes sure to regularly ask: \u201cIs there anything worrying you?\u201d<\/p>\n

They try to make it feel as unlike a hospital as possible. Keane wants to show me how they have pleasant ordinary duvets, not hospital bedding, so we go to a patient\u2019s room. The door is open. \u201cPadraig, I\u2019m just going to show Patrick the room is that okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWork away,\u201d says Padraig, who\u2019s sitting in an armchair.<\/p>\n

Padraig once drove tractors and diggers and his nickname is \u201cBenjy\u201d after Benjy from The Riordans. He was born and bred in Roscommon and is now dying here at the age of 73. He has a large tumour on his neck. <\/p>\n

\"PeoplePeople are increasingly more comfortable talking about death, says manager Geraldine Keane. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/ The Irish Times <\/p>\n

\u201cIs it going to kill me?\u201d he says. \u201cIt is. What can I do only keep going? Isn\u2019t that all.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was frightened of coming here at first. \u201cI kept thinking of people being sent to the county home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of older people think of that,\u201d says Keane. \u201cWhen they first told you about coming here, what did you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I was going to die soon,\u201d he says. \u201cI didn\u2019t know it was going to be like this. It\u2019s beautiful in here. Better than a hotel. I go up and down and out for a smoke and the staff are lovely. Talking to me. People come to see me in the evening. My sister, my nieces and nephews. The white doggy came in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBeau,\u201d says Keane. He\u2019s a therapy dog who visits on Fridays.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0How to cope with grief at Christmas: It\u2019s a hard time of year. So remember it\u2019s good to talkOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Benjy nods. \u201cHe hopped up on top of me. I have a dogeen at home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was telling him he could bring him in,\u201d says Keane. (Many patients have had their pets brought in. One woman had a visit from her horse.)<\/p>\n

\"RoscommonRoscommon Hospice staff: Mairead Costello, Marie Duffy, nurse manager Carol Duggan, Eleanor Moran, Annmarie Feeney and Katie Sloyan. Photograp: Nick Bradshaw\/ The Irish Times <\/p>\n

Padraig shakes his head. \u201cMy nephew will look after him.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019s less frightened here, he says. \u201cBeing on your own at home, the long nights looking out the window talking to no one, it\u2019s fierce. One time I\u2019d go to the pub but I\u2019m not able now. I sit at home talking to myself. I could be dizzy on the feet and worried I\u2019d fall. Jaysus, if I was at home now, I\u2019d fall in the kitchen and no one would see me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jennings says: \u201cThe hospice doesn\u2019t just look at the patient that comes through the door, they look at the whole family. If people don\u2019t have a family they find out who\u2019s important to that person. Who are their neighbours? Their friends? The peace and the safety that brings to the patient you can\u2019t put a price on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome patients may not get a lot of visitors or their families might be a little bit further away,\u201d says volunteer co-ordinator Michelle Brehon. \u201cSo a patient might like somebody to come in and sit and chat or just be there. [One volunteer] lives around the corner and she worked in a nursing home her whole life. She said, \u2018I\u2019m quite happy to sit at night with a patient, if they don\u2019t have somebody to sit with them\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"MarinaMarina Jennings, CEO of Mayo Roscommon Hospice Foundation, says the hospice helps patients ‘live as well as they can for as long as they can’. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/ The Irish Times <\/p>\n

Keane remembers a time before palliative care was widely available. \u201cMy father died in \u201991 and I remember being handed two ampoules of morphine by the GP who said, \u2018give him those if he needs them\u2019,\u201d she says. \u201cTen years later my mother died at home with palliative care and I just saw the difference, how vital the service is.\u201d <\/p>\n

People are increasingly more comfortable talking about death, she says. She shows me some hospice tote bags with the triple spiral end of life symbol on it. \u201cI\u2019ve seen them in Tesco.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Biden hopes new Roscommon hospice will bring \u2018comfort\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

She tells me about the Think Ahead programme where people fill out forms about their final wishes well before illness or death is an issue. She\u2019s a big advocate of this. Has she done it herself?<\/p>\n

She laughs. \u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n

Many of the people who work here say they\u2019re less afraid of death than they once were. \u201cPeople fear palliative care because of the lack of knowledge around it,\u201d says clinical nurse manager Carol Duggan. \u201cEven though it must very hard to face your own death, having that time to be with your family, to say the things you need to say and you want to say, or to plan for what you\u2019re leaving behind, that can be a good thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I had a euro for every time someone said, \u2018I really wish I engaged with the service sooner\u2019,\u201d says Jennings. \u201cIt helps them live as well as they can for as long as they can.\u201d <\/p>\n

Everyone I speak to talks about what a privilege it is to do this work. Two patients died here over the weekend. When the body is making its journey from the building, the staff all line up in the lobby. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s out of respect but as closure for the staff as well,\u201d says Keane.<\/p>\n

\"ChefChef Caroline McCormack says she helps to cater for patient’s longings for certain meals which ‘may be their last’. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/ The Irish Times <\/p>\n

Chef Caroline McCormack loves her job. People also want to talk about their lives and what they\u2019re going through and she\u2019s happy to listen. <\/p>\n

One woman wasn\u2019t eating and when McCormack told her she\u2019d cook whatever she wanted she asked for sausage and mash with onion gravy. \u201cI made it and she was delighted and had it the few days after.\u201d Foreign born people often want something from home. Sometimes she has to google it. \u201cPeople have longings. You do it because it might be their last meal.\u201d <\/p>\n

Complementary therapist Catherine Macklin was once an accountant, but she now specialises in sound therapy, aromatherapy and reflexology. \u201cWhen you\u2019re in a place of turmoil you don\u2019t expect that there\u2019s a space anywhere to feel peace or calm,\u201d she says. \u201cBut there always is … It\u2019s very beautiful and really humbling work.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Keane is showing me the non-denominational reflection room, we pass a man pushing a walker with two nurses on either side in case he stumbles. Keane greets him warmly. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0How to survive Christmas when you are grieving for a loved oneOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

She\u2019s surprised to see him up and about. In the cosy family room she introduces me to his wife, Rosemary, a teacher. <\/p>\n

Keane gives her a big hug. Rosemary is staying here in the visitors\u2019 bedroom and they\u2019ve got to know each other. Owen is 59 and was diagnosed with pancreatic biliary cancer in June. He came here 11 days ago. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe would have found it very sad that day,\u201d says Rosemary. \u201cYou\u2019re always thinking that maybe you\u2019ll be the lucky one and that the treatment will do something. And Owen has great fight in him. It\u2019s a big change, the realisation that this is where you\u2019re at. But it\u2019s been such a comforting experience here. Everyone is so kind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"CatherineCatherine Macklin: ‘It\u2019s very beautiful and really humbling work.’ Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/ The Irish Times <\/p>\n

It\u2019s been very difficult for them, she says. \u201cTo reconcile all of it in your head and your heart is hard. Owen is very independent and always has been. He\u2019s always been hard-working, a great work ethic. And to go from that to being so sick, so quickly. In the beginning you think you\u2019re going to beat it and then comes to the realisation you have to just accept the way it\u2019s going to be. I work in a profession where you\u2019re always fixing things, and you just can\u2019t fix this. It\u2019s out of your control. You just have to accept it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe is also very worried about you and concerned we are minding you,\u201d says Keane.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe says to his family and mine, \u2018Make sure Rosemary\u2019s looked after\u2019. There\u2019s only the two of us. That makes it harder in a way. But we have a great support network. [Our families] have been absolutely wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Right now, Owen\u2019s hope is that he lives until his 60th birthday, shortly after I visit. \u201cThat would be his wish,\u201d says Rosemary.<\/p>\n

The staff here have hosted all sorts of celebrations here \u2013 birthdays, holy communions, date nights, anniversaries and one wedding. They sometimes bring a celebration forward. Rosemary is hopeful Owen will make his birthday. \u201cToday is the first day he\u2019s been out of the bed walking since he came,\u201d she says. \u201cHe was sitting up having two boiled eggs. Then he said, \u2018I\u2019m going to go for a walk.\u2019 He\u2019s a very determined man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"RoscommonRoscommon Hospice is the only hospice governed by a hospital. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw\/ The Irish Times <\/p>\n

In January 1998, Rosemary was staying in Longford with family when they met a group of acquaintances in the pub. She gave Owen a lift home. \u201cAs I was crossing the street I thought, \u2018These are the stories you hear about people who disappear\u2019.\u201d She laughs. \u201cTwo weeks passed and I bumped into him. He said, \u2018I was looking for you\u2019 … He\u2019s County Louth and proud. His greatest fear was he\u2019d meet a woman from Longford.\u201d<\/p>\n

What\u2019s he like? \u201cHe\u2019s very, very loyal and kind. The sort of person you always feel safe with. A person of great integrity. That\u2019s what I love about him. He\u2019s a man of few words but you always know he\u2019s there and has your back and is a very good person.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nobody expects this when they\u2019re younger, she says. \u201cI thought myself and Owen would see each other into old age. His fabulous consultant, Dr Silvie Blazkova, said, \u2018I\u2019ll give you treatment. I can\u2019t cure you, but I can give you time.\u2019 My 91-year-old mother, she said recently, \u2018That was your wish, that Owen would be comfortable and you\u2019d get time\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

She can\u2019t praise the medical and palliative care staff enough. She thinks she might volunteer here in future. The couple have also had huge support from family and friends. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s very inspiring that people are so kind,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s about giving the person comfort and knowing that there are people around who love you and care for you and want you to be well within the context of where you are.\u201d There are tears in her eyes now and her voice cracks. \u201cHe\u2019s surrounded by love.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"In the lobby of Roscommon Hospice there\u2019s a Christmas tree and a kind woman with a visitors\u2019 book.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":244054,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[9,10,16838,18,13,14,6,19,17,11,12,361,15,16,5,13172,7,8],"class_list":{"0":"post-244053","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-headlines","8":"tag-breaking-news","9":"tag-breakingnews","10":"tag-christmas","11":"tag-eire","12":"tag-featured-news","13":"tag-featurednews","14":"tag-headlines","15":"tag-ie","16":"tag-ireland","17":"tag-latest-news","18":"tag-latestnews","19":"tag-magazine","20":"tag-main-news","21":"tag-mainnews","22":"tag-news","23":"tag-roscommon","24":"tag-top-stories","25":"tag-topstories"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@ie\/115756716063193419","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=244053"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244053\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/244054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=244053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=244053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=244053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}