\n\t\t\t\t\tIn this week’s Agony Uncle,\u00a0Kenny offers relationship advice to a retired man hoping to move abroad with his wife – but struggling to get her on board\u00a0\t\t\t\t\t <\/p>\n
My wife and I have been together for 35 wonderful years. She\u2019s loving and kind and has spent a lot of time taking care of other people: she was a nurse, then a mum to our son and daughter, and is very good at putting other people\u2019s needs before her own. <\/p>\n
I thought we\u2019d have more time together now our kids have left home, but she\u2019s instead putting all her energy into our grandchildren, age three and one. Our daughter also recently got engaged so we\u2019re hoping more grandchildren might be on the way. <\/p>\n
And here is where my wife and I have a difference of opinion. <\/p>\n
I\u2019m retiring<\/a> this year; she\u2019s already retired and we were hoping to move to a warmer climate<\/a>, which is good for her health (she has very painful joints in the cold). We absolutely love Thailand<\/a>, but were also considering Portugal or Spain. But now my wife wants to stay here for the grandkids. <\/p>\n New FeatureIn ShortQuick Stories. Same trusted journalism.<\/p>\n We love our family and will visit regularly. I\u2019m concerned that if we don\u2019t take this chance, it won\u2019t come again and my wife will sacrifice it to care for others when she really needs to care for herself. I\u2019d also been looking forward to spending time with her and prioritising her. <\/p>\n Is there a way of persuading her to prioritise herself? <\/p>\n GM, age 64, Notts<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Dear GM, <\/p>\n I can feel your love for your wife through your message and it sounds like you both appreciate each other. It\u2019s also clear to me that this isn\u2019t a case of wanting to go away so your wife will just care for you.<\/p>\n I think it\u2019s important that you both have a conversation about the importance of putting yourselves first, or at least achieving some sort of balance. But here is where I think you need to be open about how differently we all prioritise ourselves. <\/p>\n