{"id":481360,"date":"2026-05-12T19:36:11","date_gmt":"2026-05-12T19:36:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/481360\/"},"modified":"2026-05-12T19:36:11","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T19:36:11","slug":"my-mental-health-is-not-great-im-tempted-to-tell-my-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/481360\/","title":{"rendered":"My Mental Health Is Not Great. I\u2019m Tempted to Tell My Work."},"content":{"rendered":"

Good Job<\/a> is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here<\/strong><\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Six years ago, when I was in college, I was diagnosed with OCD. The diagnosis came after a very stressful spiraling during finals. But I got help and I have managing it with medication and therapy since then.<\/p>\n

Recently though, I could feel old habits coming back. My OCD presents as perfectionism in work. That has never gone away, but it\u2019s becoming worse and worse lately, with me sometimes staying up all night rewriting reports, sure that I can get them more perfect. I\u2019m working with my psychiatrist and therapist obviously. But I\u2019m worried that the longer it\u2019s taking us to get to a new equilibrium with my medication, that my work is going to realize I\u2019m acting crazy.<\/p>\n

So far I don\u2019t think anyone has noticed anything: I\u2019m still getting my projects done, they\u2019re just taking me twice as long as they were before. I\u2019ve not missed any deadlines. It would be a relief, in some ways, to tell them what is going on. But I am terrified that involving my boss or HR would lead to me losing this job. Do you think I should keep this to myself until someone gives me a reason to tell them? (Like, if I do start missing deadlines and they notice?) Or should I tell them now? I can\u2019t really think clearly about this.<\/p>\n

\u2014Perfectionist (Derogatory)<\/p>\n

Dear Perfectionist (Derogatory),<\/strong><\/p>\n

I want to reach through the computer screen and give you a hug, because I can hear in your letter how stressed out you are about this situation. And while I think you\u2019re right to have this on your radar, I do wonder if your OCD is making you overly obsess over what\u2019s going on at work and how they will respond. (Also, necessary caveat that I am not a doctor, this is not medical advice, et cetera!) Because even though your work is taking you longer than it used to, you still haven\u2019t missed deadlines and you say yourself that no one has noticed. So I\u2019m not sure that telling them now is a great idea, since you are in treatment and you\u2019re waiting for your meds to fully kick in. It\u2019s possible that once they do and you find your equilibrium again, this will be a completely moot point\u2014so that\u2019s why I wouldn\u2019t necessarily suggest telling work immediately.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, if you do see that your OCD is starting to affect your work, then I think it might be worth having this conversation with your manager and HR. You are legally protected under the ADA, but you should also consult your employee handbook to see what it says about the way your company handles disabilities. I\u2019m hoping that in the event that you do feel you need to disclose your condition that your workplace handles it with the compassion that you deserve.<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

When does micromanaging become genuinely unethical behavior? \u201cWinifred\u201d loves to micromanage my work. She\u2019s taken away responsibilities, accumulated responsibilities I wanted to herself, and doesn\u2019t allow me ownership of my work.<\/p>\n

Recently, we were scheduled to meet an external team. I attended, Winifred didn\u2019t. Later, she asked about my plan for the project. She then informed the external partner about \u201cour\u201d thoughts. When I completed some preliminary background work, I expanded on my initial assessment. Winifred shared that work with the external team and changed my content to state that, \u201cWe recommend\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Is she taking credit for my work? Because it certainly feels like it. For what it\u2019s worth, my official position (drafted by Winifred) gives me responsibility to define project scope and format.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t go to HR. Even an anonymous report would point back to me. Talking with Winifred is pointless\u2014she already knows I\u2019m unhappy reporting to her.<\/p>\n

\u2014Credit-Stealing Hell<\/p>\n

Dear Credit-Stealing Hell,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ah yes, a tale as old as time: the manager who takes credit for your work. This may be a classic scenario, but that doesn\u2019t make it right. Before I get into what you have the power to do about it, I do want to very gently push back on your characterization of this as \u201cgenuinely unethical behavior.\u201d It\u2019s sh*tty behavior, yes, but I worry that in an organizational context, \u201cunethical\u201d has a different bar, and if you start by accusing her of unethical behavior, you might be dismissed because it doesn\u2019t necessarily meet that bar.<\/p>\n

    \n
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    Now to your question of whether she\u2019s taking credit for your work\u2014I think you know the answer here. There\u2019s also the issue of her undermining you by reducing your scope (which SHE defined!). What I also want to push back on is the idea that you can\u2019t do anything about what\u2019s happening, because I think that you can. First, though, you need a paper trail. So you have to document every time she takes credit for your work, undermines you, changes the scope of your role, or does anything else that you feel is inappropriate. If you have a verbal conversation with her about a project, reiterate what was said in an email (something like: \u201cJust to confirm what we discussed, I will be handling the presentation for the meeting on Wednesday\u201d). You can also ask questions over email about why the scope of your role on a project was changed\u2014again, you are creating documentation. There\u2019s no such thing as one too many emails! You can use these to file a formal complaint with HR if and when the time comes.<\/p>\n

    Finally, I think it\u2019s worth asking yourself if this is a role you see yourself in longterm. If Winifred were not your manager, would you still want to stay at this company? Is there any possibility of changing teams or roles within the company? Because what you\u2019re describing feels like a problem that might not have a great solution, especially if Winifred is liked by her superiors. I might quietly start looking if I were you\u2014and hopefully your next role won\u2019t have a Winifred overseeing it.<\/p>\n

    \u2014Doree<\/p>\n

    More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

    am a 30-year-old married college teacher and a mother. I have recently developed a platonic relationship with one of my students. He is 19 years old and is quite smart and intelligent for his age. We chat, through Facebook mostly, about topics related to what I teach (philosophy, history, literature, current events) and we seem to have connected intellectually in many aspects. I have conversations with him I don\u2019t even have with my husband and it has been very mentally stimulating.<\/a><\/p>\n

    Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Good Job is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":481361,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[276],"tags":[3500,18,135,19,17,227,167,502,8972],"class_list":["post-481360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-mental-health","tag-advice","tag-eire","tag-health","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-jobs","tag-mental-health","tag-mentalhealth","tag-workplace"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@ie\/116563292085630520","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481360","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=481360"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481360\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/481361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=481360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=481360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=481360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}