A rogue semiaquatic mammal. A Louisiana swamp. Tourists who clearly didn’t read the Yelp reviews.<\/p>\n
Someone greenlit a killer hippo movie and we are completely on board.<\/p>\n
“Hungry,” hitting VOD on June 23, is exactly what it sounds like.<\/p>\n
A group of thrill-seeking tourists hop on a riverboat tour through the Louisiana bayou and come face-to-face with a very large, very angry hippopotamus who has absolutely zero interest in being friendly.<\/p>\n
Think “Jaws” but make it swamp. Think “Hungry Hungry Hippos” but far more violent than Milton Bradley intended.<\/p>\n
Here’s everything about this early Oscar contender that has us fully invested!<\/p>\n
THE PREMISE IS GLORIOUSLY STUPID \u2014 IN THE BEST WAY<\/p>\n
A group of tourists get lured off the beaten path in the Louisiana swamplands with the promise of an “exclusive adventure.”<\/p>\n
Just to reiterate…<\/p>\n
An exclusive adventure.<\/p>\n
In a Louisiana swamp.<\/p>\n
Where a murderous hippopotamus lives.<\/p>\n
These people actually paid money for this!<\/p>\n
THE HIPPO ISN’T EVEN TRYING TO EAT ANYONE<\/p>\n
Here’s the best part, according to the trailer: the hippo isn’t actually hungry.<\/p>\n
It’s not trying to eat the tourists. It’s just having the time of its life terrorizing a bunch of people who wandered into its bayou.<\/p>\n
This hippo is not a predator. It’s just deeply, deeply petty.<\/p>\n
IT’S BASICALLY “HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS” FOR ADULTS<\/p>\n
The movie is called “Hungry.” The poster doubles down on the board game reference.<\/p>\n
Somewhere, the executives who own the rights to “Hungry Hungry Hippos” are either furious or quietly thrilled.<\/p>\n
Either way, this is the gritty reboot nobody asked for and everybody needed.<\/p>\n
IT FOLLOWS A LONG AND PROUD TRADITION OF UNHINGED CREATURE FEATURES<\/p>\n
“Lake Placid” gave us a giant crocodile. “Anaconda” gave us JLo running from a snake. “Primate” gave us a rabid chimp with control issues.<\/p>\n
And now “Hungry” is here to give hippos their moment in the spotlight.<\/p>\n
Honestly? Long overdue. Hippos are the most dangerous large land animal on earth. <\/p>\n
Hollywood slept on this for years.<\/p>\n
NOBODY ON THIS BOAT IS MAKING GOOD DECISIONS<\/p>\n
The official synopsis describes the tourists as “thrill-seeking,” which is Hollywood code for “these people are going to make every wrong choice possible and we will enjoy every second of it.”<\/p>\n
Getting on a small boat. Going off the beaten path. Ignoring obvious warning signs.<\/p>\n
Classic. Timeless. We love to see it.<\/p>\n
THIS HIPPO DESERVES ITS OWN FRANCHISE<\/p>\n
“Jaws” got four movies. “Anaconda” got too many to count.<\/p>\n
If this hippo delivers, there is absolutely no reason it can’t become the next great animal horror icon.<\/p>\n
Give the hippo a name. Give the hippo a backstory. Give the hippo a cinematic universe.<\/p>\n
We are ready.<\/p>\n
“HUNGRY” DELIVERS THE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON YOU’LL EVER RECEIVE<\/p>\n
There comes a time in every person\u2019s life when they look at an adorable hippo and think: I bet that thing loves tummy rubs.<\/p>\n
What could possibly go wrong? It\u2019s just a 9,000-pound cutie.<\/p>\n
Basically a land seal.<\/p>\n
Sounds like premium TikTok content, but the creepy old man in the trailer ominously warns:<\/p>\n
\u201cThe only cute hippo is a dead hippo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Okay, Captain Fun Vacuum, nix the bummer vibes.<\/p>\n
“Hungry” stars Dame Judi Dench, Sir Kenneth Branagh, and… absolutely none of those people. <\/p>\n
We don’t recognize any of the cast, but honestly, we\u2019re just here for the hippopotamus.<\/p>\n
Follow us on Instagram @WeArePauseRewind<\/a> for all your pop culture obsessions.<\/p>\n