{"id":502819,"date":"2026-05-26T04:33:23","date_gmt":"2026-05-26T04:33:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/502819\/"},"modified":"2026-05-26T04:33:23","modified_gmt":"2026-05-26T04:33:23","slug":"jen-hogans-end-of-year-school-report-b-in-cake-sales-c-in-whatsapp-e-in-lunches-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/502819\/","title":{"rendered":"Jen Hogan\u2019s end-of-year school report: B in cake sales, C+ in WhatsApp, E in lunches \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re coming to that time of year, when parents<\/a> often find themselves reflecting on life\u2019s great mysteries, such as, \u201cHow in the name of Jaysus is the school<\/a> year over already?\u201d<\/p>\n

Questioning how it really went. Wondering what their parenting report card might read if someone other than their children were keen to write one. What would the grades be? How many absences from school events? And is there room for improvement? <\/p>\n

It\u2019s a time filled with more nostalgia than New Year\u2019s Eve for many of us. A period of heightened emotion. Another year over, and a child another year older. Tears, perhaps, at the moving on from primary<\/a> school, or from education altogether, or at the thoughts of the summer juggle. Delete as appropriate.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s said comparison is the thief of joy and yet it\u2019s impossible to avoid as a parent. And rarely does that ring more true than at the end of the school year. Never mind the \u2018gram where you can remind yourself that posted family photos with meticulous backgrounds and impeccably behaved children are likely carefully curated, and chaos has been whooshed into a corner just out of camera shot. No, we don\u2019t need social media to torture ourselves. If you\u2019ve got more than one child, all you have to do is ask whether you did better other times around.<\/p>\n

In the absence of that report card it\u2019s hard to really know. So I\u2019ve no option but to write my own.<\/p>\n

Punctuality: D (Down from A with the first child)<\/p>\n

Jen is full of great intentions, but there\u2019s lots of room for improvement. Lots. Seriously, like. How can someone live within walking distance of their children\u2019s school and progressively get later each year? It\u2019s rumoured some of the parents have started taking bets on what time she\u2019ll arrive. Something to work on next year. Or at least before all her children age out of the education system altogether. <\/p>\n

WhatsApp group participation: C+ (also down from an A with the first child)<\/p>\n

An active member of the class Whatsapp group community but interactions frequently limited to contributions such as a confused \u201cwhat\u2019s this now?\u201d following another parent\u2019s tenth reminder of an upcoming debate. See also \u201chas anyone seen my child?\u201d and random posts about the pointlessness of homework. <\/p>\n

Cake sale participation: B- (down from a B+ with first child. Bit of a pattern forming here)<\/p>\n

Jen has maintained a steady grade in spite of limited baking skills. Marks were awarded this year as her now legendary Rice Krispie buns are made from scratch as opposed to when she used to buy plain buns in the supermarket, put icing sugar on the top and convince her children this was baking. Of course, first time around she used to actually help out at the cake sales, but now she\u2019s too busy faffing around on Instagram posting Rice Krispie buns recipes and fishing for compliments from the head of the parents association. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0I have just been gifted nine extra free-time hours and it is a whole new worldOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Homework: A (maintained the grade, albeit it assigned for different reasons)<\/p>\n

Grade awarded for consistency in resentment and repeatedly pointing out that homework is a waste of time. Initially awarded for active participation and forcing young children to do it in the early days even though it\u2019s a waste of time. Down with this sort of thing.<\/p>\n

School lunches: E (well down on those early-years grades)<\/p>\n

A disappointing result. Jen\u2019s glaring difficulties here stem from the fact she doesn\u2019t actually do the lunches. She has abdicated all responsibility for lunch making on account of being a full-time, once a year, cake sale baker of Rice Krispie buns. So himself does the lunches now. This possibly makes her a bad mother, and she doesn\u2019t even seem to care. Lots to be done here. I\u2019d urge Jen to consider taking the ordinary-level lunch-making paper next year. Cheese sandwiches are not beyond her culinary capabilities in spite of her insistence to the contrary. Hard work and increased focus are necessary if she is to improve on this grade. <\/p>\n

Sports: B (up from a C on those early-years grades)<\/p>\n

While the walking pad<\/a> risked making her a bit of a dose, and a second mention of being a walking pad owner in The Irish Times definitely takes her perilously close, being active, albeit in front of Netflix, is to be commended. Extra marks awarded for running from pitch side to pitch side over the course of her children\u2019s football season and only grumbling the required amount about the \u201cpoxy weather\u201d.<\/p>\n

We go on. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"We\u2019re coming to that time of year, when parents often find themselves reflecting on life\u2019s great mysteries, such…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":502820,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[73],"tags":[79,18,19,17,2973,11997,22617,4635],"class_list":["post-502819","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-business","tag-business","tag-eire","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-parenting","tag-parents","tag-primary-level","tag-whatsapp"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@ie\/116639013616273318","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/502819","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=502819"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/502819\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/502820"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=502819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=502819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=502819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}