{"id":523197,"date":"2026-06-07T14:09:15","date_gmt":"2026-06-07T14:09:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/523197\/"},"modified":"2026-06-07T14:09:15","modified_gmt":"2026-06-07T14:09:15","slug":"dear-daithi-im-uncomfortable-with-the-messages-from-my-friends-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/523197\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear D\u00e1ith\u00ed: I’m uncomfortable with the messages from my friend’s husband\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n I\u2019m a content creator and am lucky to have mostly positive experiences with followers.\n <\/p>\n

\n Some of my content is about being single and dating \u2014 there\u2019s an element of exaggeration and putting on an act with all of this. In recent months, my close friend\u2019s husband has been interacting with my videos and profile in a noticeably flirty way, especially when I post more \u2018risqu\u00e9\u2019 content.\n <\/p>\n

\n He\u2019s regularly sending me private messages and comments that, if they came from someone I didn\u2019t know personally, I would dismiss as innocuous. However, I\u2019m uncomfortable with this man engaging with my online persona like this. I don\u2019t want to accuse him of anything or admonish him.\n <\/p>\n

\n I have no interest in bringing his behavior up with his wife. I\u2019m just getting weird vibes from the whole thing. In real life, he\u2019s fine, but after a recent friends\u2019 trip together, he sent me a message about how lovely it was to see me.\n <\/p>\n

\n I don\u2019t think I\u2019m being paranoid. I don\u2019t want my friendship with his wife to change, and I\u2019m resentful that his carry on is going to necessitate me having to distance myself from her.
<\/p>\n

Let me begin by saying I\u2019m delighted to hear that you have mostly positive experiences on social media. Sometimes I think it is all bad online because all we have coming at us these days is bad news from that corner.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I think being a content creator is a great job; you are a movie maker, and it\u2019s up to you to write the script every time and how exciting is that. If I was starting out again, this is where I\u2019d be.<\/p>\n

\n Because of the world we live in, we need to push the boundaries of reality to get people\u2019s attention, and that\u2019s where the element of exaggeration comes in.\n <\/p>\n

Otherwise your work would get lost in a sea of similar content in an ever-growing ocean. When you look at it, everything and everybody, even ordinary things on social media, are exaggerated and all for the same reason: to grab your attention.<\/p>\n

Sometimes it\u2019s even hard to know what\u2019s real and not.\u00a0What one person shows on their social media pages might not be how they live at all.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Add this natural exaggeration of social media and your subject matter about being single, it is probably going to draw attention, which is what you want, of course. This is not the issue here at all, it\u2019s the person who is reacting to it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We will get to the person in question and how to deal with him soon, because it is very important to say at this stage that you have done nothing wrong, this is in no way your fault. This is your job.<\/p>\n

The two main problems here are that your good friend\u2019s husband is messaging you when he sees your videos, and he shouldn\u2019t be, and this is making you feel very uncomfortable. Let\u2019s deal with him first.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I wonder does he fancy you? Did you ever get the feeling that he really liked you? Like he did say, it was lovely to see you after the friends get together.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He might have misread the video as some kind of signal and is now sending out some kind of \u2018feeler\u2019 (excuse the pun, not intended) to see if you might like him back.<\/p>\n

\n He could also be chancing his arm and be looking for something else. We really don\u2019t know until we ask him what the heck is going through his head with all of this.\n <\/p>\n

To answer another question you have in there, I don\u2019t think you\u2019re being paranoid here. This is making you feel uncomfortable, and that is always a good yardstick when it comes to right and wrong.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Along with this, you\u2019re getting weird vibes about the whole thing. Why wouldn\u2019t you? It\u2019s not supposed to happen, especially when he knows that you and his wife are good friends.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Or maybe this is where the chase is for him. Again, only he will know this.<\/p>\n

It might be a good idea to ask another close female friend within the group if they have ever come across this from him before. There might be pattern here, or it might be just a case of this guy getting his wires crossed.<\/p>\n

You feel uncomfortable about the whole thing, and you need that to stop. You love your work, and you want to continue doing it, and I think that you will only keep working at your best when this crap is all dealt with.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I have thought about this, and I think the next time you put up a video, and when he comes back with a flirty message, I\u2019d ask him what you mean by that? And wait for his response.<\/p>\n

This puts it right back on him to answer, and what he comes back with will let us know a lot. If he says he was only joking, he was chancing his arm, and you say look, all the messages make me feel uncomfortable, and they need to stop.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If he says “look I like you and thought there was something there” tell him he has misread the room, there is no feeling on this side.<\/p>\n

\n Be direct and straight. I wouldn\u2019t get into a big over and back with him here, it\u2019s “I\u2019m not interested and stop making me feel uncomfortable” and that\u2019s it.\n <\/p>\n

I get the sense from your letter, too, that your relationship with his wife is very important to you and you don\u2019t want to put any distance between you both, so you\u2019ll need to think about that too.<\/p>\n

What do you do? Are you happy to give the husband a warning? Will you ever say something to her? Another question is, why is he doing this? Are they having problems at home?<\/p>\n

This part is a huge minefield, and you really need to think about it, so be careful and tread lightly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I\u2019m a content creator and am lucky to have mostly positive experiences with followers. Some of my content…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":523198,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[75],"tags":[26985,3500,26408,18,117,19,17,3700],"class_list":["post-523197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-dear-daithi","tag-advice","tag-dating","tag-eire","tag-entertainment","tag-ie","tag-ireland","tag-relationships"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@ie\/116709226500066352","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=523197"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523197\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/523198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=523197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=523197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=523197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}