{"id":556620,"date":"2026-06-27T07:50:12","date_gmt":"2026-06-27T07:50:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/556620\/"},"modified":"2026-06-27T07:50:12","modified_gmt":"2026-06-27T07:50:12","slug":"girls-growing-up-in-ireland-im-sitting-on-the-bus-and-theres-grown-men-making-comments-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/556620\/","title":{"rendered":"Girls growing up in Ireland: \u2018I\u2019m sitting on the bus and there\u2019s grown men making comments\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

It is one of the hottest days of the year in the west Dublin<\/a> suburb of Castleknock<\/a>, and a teenage girl is in her back garden playing football with her friends.<\/p>\n

Her friends, though, are not actually in the garden with her; they are in their own homes, their own back gardens, playing keepie-uppies over video call. <\/p>\n

This is a regular occurrence, 13-year-old Myla Jain says, with the group chat of 10 classmates convening over video call most evenings once they get home from school. <\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t mind being with them on a call, but it\u2019s probably better in person,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

That hunger for physical connection is clear. She loves going to Blanchardstown shopping centre with her friends, watching films, and says she can\u2019t wait to be old enough to go to house parties. <\/p>\n

She plays basketball with her next-door neighbour in their garden, she loves hockey and plays most evenings after school. <\/p>\n

But like many girls her age in Ireland, so much of her life is lived on Snapchat<\/a>, TikTok<\/a> and Instagram<\/a>. <\/p>\n

The music she listens to is driven by what she hears on viral videos, \u201csnap streaks\u201d cannot be broken, and the 10-person group chat is alive every evening and weekend. <\/p>\n

The increasingly pervasive presence of social media<\/a> in the lives of female teenagers is one of the strongest themes we came across when we asked them what it was like to grow up in Ireland. <\/p>\n

They also spoke about the skewed perceptions of consent held by some of their male peers, their impression of what it meant to be a woman in the modern world, the importance of their friendships and the pressures of the education system<\/a> here. <\/p>\n

This is their story of girlhood.<\/p>\n

Becoming a woman<\/b>\"SaoirseSaoirse McHugh: ‘I feel like this is such a universal experience for women.’ Photograph: Daragh Mc Sweeney\/Provision<\/p>\n

There were three big milestones in 19-year-old Saoirse McHugh\u2019s life that made her feel she was on her way to becoming a woman: getting her first period; having a relationship with a boy; and sitting her first State exam. <\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like when you\u2019re young, you\u2019re so excited to grow up, you\u2019re so excited to have more independence and freedom and be mature, but when I got older and all these other events started happening, me entering womanhood, I felt more of a growing feeling of dread,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

Saoirse cites the example of having to think about what college course and future career she wanted to do when she was just 15. <\/p>\n

But there was also the unwanted male attention that came with the shift into womanhood. \u201cIt\u2019s very scary with some of the experiences you have, especially as a teenage girl,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

She recounts an encounter in her housing estate in Bishopstown, Cork<\/a>, when she was 12. <\/p>\n

It was 2019 and she was walking her dog, Miggledy (named after then president Michael D Higgins), around her estate.<\/p>\n

It was a peaceful, quiet area with a lot of elderly residents, and everyone assumed it was safe enough for a girl of her age to walk around on a summer evening. <\/p>\n

There was a pub in the estate, and she noticed something after going past it. <\/p>\n

\u201cI remember I was passing by the pub to go back to my house, and this man started following me, and he followed me all the way to my house,\u201d Saoirse says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was terrified, I had this feeling in my gut that felt like my stomach was sinking, it was so scary. He was asking me to get in a taxi with him and go to town, and I\u2019m very clearly a 12-year-old child.\u201d <\/p>\n

[\u00a0Most Irish adults favour social media ban for under-16s, poll saysOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

She made it back inside her house and told her parents, who called the garda\u00ed, but no prosecution came of it. <\/p>\n

\u201cThat was the youngest I can remember, but there\u2019s been other moments, where I\u2019m sitting on the bus and there\u2019s grown men making comments. I feel like this is such a universal experience for women, that you have some horrible, jarring, scary experience, and then you just go on with your day like nothing happened,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

Bel Aghedo is an 18-year-old law student who was born in Dublin to Nigerian parents. She was quite young when she realised they held certain expectations of what it meant to be a woman in the world: \u201cI grew up to believe that women take care of everything, and women never ask for help,\u201d Bel says.<\/p>\n

She was not allowed to play outside with other children in her estate, with the constant refrain of \u201cbecause you\u2019re a girl\u201d given as the reason. <\/p>\n

\"BelBel Aghedo, 18 – Photo: supplied <\/p>\n

When she started her first part-time job in Penneys, she says she was encouraged to send money to her older brothers who were at university in Britain. <\/p>\n

When it was her turn to go to college, she had to work part-time and get a scholarship to attend her course at the University of Galway.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think I was a lonely kid, because I really was left alone by myself all the time, like literally all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her phone, she says, became a refuge from the loneliness.<\/p>\n

Social media<\/b><\/p>\n

Bel was just seven years of age when she got her first phone, and an Instagram account followed almost immediately. <\/p>\n

Within weeks, she was receiving \u201ccreepy\u201d messages from unknown men who were asking her to send them pictures of herself, and to meet up. This progressed to them sending her sexualised images of themselves. <\/p>\n

\u201cThey were sending me different videos of themselves doing stuff that they probably shouldn\u2019t send to anyone, let alone a child. Maybe they didn\u2019t realise what age I was, but in my bio it did say: I\u2019m Bel, I\u2019m seven years old and I love Ariana Grande.\u201d<\/p>\n

She was not taught about digital safety in school, she says, and found it far too easy to access social media and all its dangers.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0How child \u2018skinfluencers\u2019 became a toxic beauty trendOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Kate Macadam, an 18-year-old Leaving Certificate student from Greystones, Co Wicklow, kept away from social media for longer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got a phone when I was 10, but it didn\u2019t do anything. It had a really bad camera, one game, and WhatsApp<\/a>, that was it. I only used it to text my parents and grandparents. I couldn\u2019t have any social media. I didn\u2019t get Snapchat until I was 14 or 15.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt the time I wasn\u2019t happy with my parents, but I\u2019m grateful now, to be honest. I was also lucky because the people I was closest with didn\u2019t have social media either, so I never felt that pressure to have TikTok or Instagram, because they weren\u2019t on it, so I didn\u2019t really feel like I was missing out,\u201d Kate says. <\/p>\n

She saw the negative effects social media was having on some kids around her, and its addictive nature. \u201cIf you get one app, you want all the other apps,\u201d Kate says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI noticed everything kind of felt like it had to be documented. People were a little less present in the moment, everything had to be put on a private story or put on an Instagram story, and instead of actually just being with your friends.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n

\u2018I feel like a lot of the progress that is made within the schools gets completely undone by social media\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Saoirse McHugh<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

For Saoirse, she began to notice the impact that toxic masculinity on social media was having on some boys she knew. <\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of the lads would have been following the likes of Andrew Tate<\/a> or influencers like that, and even if they\u2019re not following it they still see it on their feed because of the way the algorithm works, which targets teenage boys and pushes some of this type of content on them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tate is a British-American influencer and self-proclaimed misogynist who targets young men and boys with his sexist ideologies on social media platforms.<\/p>\n

Saoirse believes the majority of boys in her year in secondary school would have been consuming Tate\u2019s material online, with some repeating the misogynistic rhetoric. <\/p>\n

She recounts being on a bus with other students when some used a text-to-speech app on a speaker to play sexualised, demeaning jokes about some of the girls on the bus. <\/p>\n

\u201cOne guy actively got up and removed himself from that situation and sat at the front, so it isn\u2019t a case of \u2018all hope is lost\u2019,\u201d Saoirse says, though she felt it was overall a very distressing situation for the girls on the bus. <\/p>\n

Consent<\/b>\"KateKate Macadam, an 18-year-old Leaving Certificate student from Greystones, Co Wicklow. Photograph: Natalia Campos <\/p>\n

When the older girls we spoke to were asked what they understood consent to mean, they all answered similarly.<\/p>\n

It was not just an absence of \u201cno\u201d; nor was it simply a \u201cyes\u201d. It was an enthusiastic \u201cyes\u201d, communicated very clearly and freely given, they said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think both the boys and the girls in my life kind of have a good idea about it,\u201d Kate says. <\/p>\n

\u201cIn general I think my age group is quite aware of it. As a generation we have been exposed to a lot of social media stuff about, like, sexual assault or rape, and personally I know that it would have generated conversations with people in my life about it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know if it\u2019s the same for everyone, but I think because it\u2019s being talked about, I think people are more aware of it.\u201d <\/p>\n

Bel says her class was taught about contraception, transgender people<\/a>\u2019s experience and sexually transmitted infections, but she doesn\u2019t remember many conversations around consent. <\/p>\n

She recalls a boy bantering about it, with one of them asking a teacher: \u201c\u2018Say if I really, really, really wanted Belle to have my babies, but she didn\u2019t want to have my babies, but I really, really wanted to, would that be right?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

She couldn\u2019t tell if he was joking or not, but took from it all that she needed to protect herself and avoid getting into potentially dangerous situations. <\/p>\n

\u201cI made myself very clear, and no one really kind of messed with me,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

Saoirse says there were \u201cdefinitely moments where consent to certain activities wasn\u2019t fully given\u201d.<\/p>\n

This has affected the relationships she has had since, she says, with them feeling \u201cnerve-wracking\u201d and requiring her to \u201cset clear boundaries\u201d. However, she is happy now with a new boyfriend.<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Snapchat: \u2018I\u2019ve seen so much stuff. I would block them after but the damage was done\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

\u201cI went into a relationship with the most understanding person, and it completely helped me in my journey of healing and my journey of processing what happened, but if I hadn\u2019t had that support from my boyfriend, then I don\u2019t know where I\u2019d be now,\u201d Saoirse says. <\/p>\n

\n

\u2018I didn\u2019t realise how much of a big part my friends played in my life before they were gone\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Bel Aghedo<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

While she believes the issue of consent is addressed in schools and among young people a lot more now than in previous generations, social media has threatened that progress.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like a lot of the progress that is made within the schools gets completely undone by social media. So many young boys will be sitting in school, learning about consent, and then they\u2019ll go home and spend hours consuming content by far-right men, telling them to dominate,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0Porn before puberty in Ireland: \u2018It is horrible, and it\u2019s in every school\u2019Opens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

\u201cThey might be watching porn which is glorifying abuse and they\u2019ll have a completely twisted vision in their head of what consent is because they\u2019re consuming all of this harmful content online, which is unregulated, unfiltered.\u201d <\/p>\n

Sisterhood<\/b><\/p>\n

Platonic friendships are very important to all of these teenagers, with some of their fondest, happiest memories being of time spent with other girls. <\/p>\n

For Kate, getting ready to go to discos was often more fun than the disco itself.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s always kind of a ritual in itself for teenage girls in Ireland, that you go to your friend\u2019s house and put music on, and you get ready together. It was fun, you know? You wanted to be with your friends,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI found it difficult in primary school to have friends that were girls, so it was just nice to have a bit of sisterhood and be together, and I still love doing that now with my friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Bel, the reintegration into school after the Covid lockdowns was difficult. She started secondary school when teaching was done virtually, and had a group of about 12 friends with whom she spoke regularly online. <\/p>\n

When they got back into the classroom those friendships did not always hold up, and she found that very isolating. <\/p>\n

\u201cI stopped coming to school when I didn\u2019t have friends, because I was just sick of doing things by myself all the time. It was really hard, just little things like having someone to sit with at lunch, or having someone to sit beside in a class. I didn\u2019t realise how much of a big part my friends played in my life before they were gone,\u201d Bel says.<\/p>\n

She is happier now in college; things have changed for the better. <\/p>\n

Generations<\/b>\"MylaMyla Jain and her mother, Ridhi, who says she wishes she could take social media away from children. Photograph: Natalia Campos <\/p>\n

Myla is clearly a very sociable, energetic young girl who craves time with her friends either online or in person.<\/p>\n

Her phone helps her stay connected to her friends over the summer, when they\u2019re not in school, she says.<\/p>\n

But Myla\u2019s mother, Ridhi, says she wishes she could take social media away from children.<\/p>\n

When she was a girl growing up in India, she played on the roads with her friends in the evening, so \u201cwhoever lived on the lane was our friends\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a much simpler life, but we were so creative because of boredom. I think these days they\u2019re not bored, ever, so they\u2019re not thinking outside the box, they just do the usual stuff. We used to do a lot more creative stuff. We\u2019d have our own little festival in the garden if we were too bored, things like that,\u201d Ridhi says.<\/p>\n

She wonders if children\u2019s friendships now are more shallow, because it can be difficult to develop the same level of connection over the phone.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel I miss it for them, the childhood we had, but they\u2019ll never know. I wish they could have that,\u201d Ridhi says.<\/p>\n

Myla was given a phone as a young girl when the family first travelled home to India, and they wanted her to be contactable. She ended up keeping it after that, and Ridhi regrets that decision.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I hadn\u2019t. I wish I had waited. I know certain countries are now banning social media for kids under 16. I would pay the Government here to do it tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It is one of the hottest days of the year in the west Dublin suburb of Castleknock, and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":556621,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[73],"tags":[90806,79,109242,1877,52,18,2215,35978,19,876,17,1678,12551,34020,1114,1150,2212,4635,70755],"class_list":["post-556620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-business","tag-andrew-tate","tag-business","tag-castleknock","tag-cork","tag-dublin","tag-eire","tag-for-you","tag-greystones","tag-ie","tag-instagram","tag-ireland","tag-lgbtq","tag-second-level","tag-snapchat","tag-social-media","tag-tiktok","tag-weekendreview","tag-whatsapp","tag-your-stories"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@ie\/116820983155148573","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/556620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=556620"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/556620\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/556621"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=556620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=556620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=556620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}