{"id":90348,"date":"2025-09-28T07:48:08","date_gmt":"2025-09-28T07:48:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/90348\/"},"modified":"2025-09-28T07:48:08","modified_gmt":"2025-09-28T07:48:08","slug":"i-didnt-really-realise-how-crazy-you-can-become-with-grief-the-irish-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/90348\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I didn\u2019t really realise how crazy you can become with grief\u2019 \u2013 The Irish Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

Katherine Zappone<\/a> is both insider and outsider. <\/p>\n

The former minister for children and youth affairs has just published an unusual political memoir<\/a>. Yes, there are landmark moments tracked and key highlights of a ministerial career selected, and expanded upon. <\/p>\n

Yes, there are insights into the dispositions of some other politicians, and into negotiations and bargaining. <\/p>\n

But it\u2019s also a book about a relationship that defined her life, with her late wife, Ann Louise Gilligan, who died in June 2017, after declining health with brain haemorrhages and fading eyesight. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt was very hard to write. It\u2019s hard for me to read it,\u201d says Zappone. \u201cI didn\u2019t really realise, I think, how crazy you can become with grief. When I say crazy, I mean you\u2019re just put off your usual path, and you make decisions that you might not usually do … And living with the devastation, but trying to do it in a way that you\u2019re trying to come out the other side. It doesn\u2019t just take the time, you have to be intentional about it. <\/p>\n

\u201cBut I think for me, one of the ways I was able to do that ultimately is that I felt that she … \u201d Her composure cracks, sitting in Dublin\u2019s Westbury Hotel, with her voice straining and eyes tearing up. \u201cYou know, even though she was gone, that she became part of me here,\u201d she puts her hand to her chest, \u201cin a way that I hadn\u2019t felt before, because I could see myself saying things that she would say. Or even my mannerisms sometimes \u2013 I had adopted some of her habits.\u201d<\/p>\n

What Zappone learned from the loss of her spouse is that \u201cit\u2019s possible to move through it. It\u2019s possible to find new life, new hope, obviously for me a new relationship, a new partnership. And then to bring the perspective and the awareness and the knowledge of death to what you do from then on. Because most of us probably don\u2019t live every day thinking we\u2019re going to die … But if we were to live with that awareness more, then that would change how we are with each other, and how we\u2019d be in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

[\u00a0Love in a Time of Politics by Katherine Zappone: Blazing a trail in court of public opinionOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Zappone met her new partner, Jennifer, for the first time in March 2021 at a David Hockney exhibition in New York. Jennifer is a South African who was living in the US, and a Buddhist with a doctorate in politics from the University of Oxford working in strategic communications, and Zappone writes of their relationship developing that year as a time when \u201cmoments of joy began to fill my body again\u201d.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s how Zappone\u2019s time in electoral politics ended, losing her D\u00e1il seat in 2020, but also the maelstrom that unfolded in 2021 around her appointment as a UN special envoy. <\/p>\n

\"AnnAnn Louise Gilligan and Katherine Zappone on their wedding day in City Hall in Dublin, 2016 <\/p>\n

In September 2019, Zappone was already working with others on Ireland\u2019s ultimately successful campaign to secure a UN Security Council seat. The general election happened in February 2020, the pandemic hit, and her work in government ended in July. <\/p>\n

She left Ireland for the US, volunteering on the Biden-Harris campaign. Zappone writes that towards the end of February 2021, then minister for foreign affairs Simon Coveney<\/a> rang her. \u201cHe had been thinking about the priorities for Ireland\u2019s two years on the Security Council and wondered if I had any ongoing interest in LGBTQ+<\/a> diversity and equality issues in the international arena. I said, \u2018Of course!\u2019 He indicated that there might be a role I could play, for Ireland, on these topics.\u201d <\/p>\n

Early in March, Coveney rang her again, she writes. \u201cI understood that he was offering me an opportunity to represent Ireland again. The details needed to be hammered out, and he would leave that to his officials.\u201d An announcement was planned for June, which didn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n

Leo Varadkar, in his own recently published memoir, says Zappone \u201chad approached me, Simon Coveney and Paschal Donohoe about a role\u201d. He writes that he liked the idea but left it to Coveney to work it out, adding that he had thought she would be an LGBTQI+ envoy but what emerged was a proposal that she become a \u201cUN Special Envoy on Freedom of Opinion and Expression\u201d.<\/p>\n

Zappone had planned a trip to the UK and Dublin, part of which would be a gathering for family, friends and colleagues since lockdown in 2020 had denied such goodbyes. She contacted the Merrion Hotel, which planned the details of the gathering with the obvious caveat that it would be adhering to government restrictions. The hotel outlined the protocols: the reception was to be outside, guests were to be seated at tables to avoid mingling, masks were recommended. <\/p>\n

The night before the gathering, Zappone writes that Coveney phoned her again to say he would be bringing her appointment before Cabinet the following week. By the time that meeting was held, Zappone and her partner were back in New York. \u201cBy the Wednesday, subsequent to a leak from Cabinet about the appointment, my whole world began to change. I was accused of lobbying the minister, and Simon Coveney was criticised for a lack of transparency and appropriate procedures in the appointment process.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"FormerFormer minister Katherine Zappone and former minister for foreign affairs Simon Coveney <\/p>\n

In early August a story broke alleging her reception in the Merrion Hotel had not followed Covid restrictions. Zappone writes that she was \u201cshocked\u201d by this, saying all government-communicated restrictions were strictly followed. She cites a misalignment between the then government regulations in public-health measures and F\u00e1ilte Ireland\u2019s guidelines. The attorney general subsequently advised government that social events of up to 200 people were legally allowed. <\/p>\n

[\u00a0Coveney apologised for not following procedure in Zappone appointment \u2013 TaoiseachOpens in new window<\/a>\u00a0]<\/p>\n

Incidentally, in his book, Varadkar writes<\/a> that he considered resigning when news emerged he had attended the gathering, and he even sat down to write a statement but was dissuaded by comments from Miche\u00e1l Martin and others. <\/p>\n

Zappone issued a statement saying she would not be accepting the envoy role. She says that she could not recognise herself in media commentary: \u201cA picture was painted of me as elitist, corrupt and dishonourable.\u201d <\/p>\n

The controversy around her appointment had started when it emerged Coveney \u2013 who said Zappone didn\u2019t lobby him \u2013 had brought the plan to cabinet without informing taoiseach Miche\u00e1l Martin in advance. <\/p>\n

Was she protecting Coveney? She raises her voice, emphatic: \u201cAbsolutely not. Absolutely not. No. He accepted it, that he was at fault. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t want to [speak out], but I made a discernment from that distance and from listening to many colleagues and friends that if I were to say anything and offer that really strong view, you know how your profession [media] would have responded to that. They would have tried to tear that apart. Some of the politicians, they would also tear that apart. So I don\u2019t know if it would\u2019ve ended it. My judgment was it would not have ended it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Even now, I ask myself: where\u2019s the most power? Is it inside or is it outside?<\/p>\n

\u2014 \u00a0Katherine Zappone<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

She argues the accusations or characterisations of cronyism are \u201cwrong\u201d, and that Coveney \u2013 except around how he informed cabinet \u2013 was, as a minister, engaging in a process of identifying expertise for a role. <\/p>\n

Has she spoken to him about it? \u201cI have.\u201d Recently? \u201cIt was probably about six weeks ago, a couple of months ago, subsequent to coming home. And it was a very honest, straightforward, heartfelt conversation on both of our parts. And he apologised to me.\u201d And did she accept the apology? \u201cYes.\u201d She was hurt, angry and damaged but ultimately made a decision to move past it, \u201cI\u2019m not claiming it doesn\u2019t flare up at times. But it\u2019s time to lay down my anger. All right. And that is a process.\u201d<\/p>\n

She was nominated as a Senator in 2011 by then taoiseach Enda Kenny, and elected an Independent TD in February 2016, entering Cabinet later that year with Fine Gael and other Independents.<\/p>\n

Memoir writing is a reflective activity. \u201cEven now, I ask myself: where\u2019s the most power? Is it inside or is it outside?\u201d she says. Where does she land? \u201cI remember having a certain amount of power inside that I didn\u2019t have outside, but at the same time \u2013 and I think at least because of the way I was positioned as an Independent \u2013 I didn\u2019t feel it was a tonne of power. I didn\u2019t get everything.\u201d <\/p>\n

Ultimately the call she made to go into government was rooted in a desire to get things done. \u201cMaybe for me it was because I was later on in my career, where I just felt, oh my God, I didn\u2019t want to spent the next four or five years, I suppose, protesting. I wanted to see if it was possible to move things forward by making those decisions on the basis of a vision and getting agreement with your colleagues. Which is what I sometimes managed to do. Not always.\u201d<\/p>\n

Love in a Time of Politics by Katherine Zappone is published by Hachette<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Katherine Zappone is both insider and outsider. The former minister for children and youth affairs has just published…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":90349,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[9,10,64,18,13,14,2215,6,19,17,58888,11,12,1678,15,16,5,37851,7,8,2212],"class_list":{"0":"post-90348","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-ireland","8":"tag-breaking-news","9":"tag-breakingnews","10":"tag-covid-19","11":"tag-eire","12":"tag-featured-news","13":"tag-featurednews","14":"tag-for-you","15":"tag-headlines","16":"tag-ie","17":"tag-ireland","18":"tag-katherine-zappone","19":"tag-latest-news","20":"tag-latestnews","21":"tag-lgbtq","22":"tag-main-news","23":"tag-mainnews","24":"tag-news","25":"tag-simon-coveney","26":"tag-top-stories","27":"tag-topstories","28":"tag-weekendreview"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=90348"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90348\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/90349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=90348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=90348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/ie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=90348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}