{"id":34786,"date":"2026-07-30T01:25:11","date_gmt":"2026-07-30T01:25:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/34786\/"},"modified":"2026-07-30T01:25:11","modified_gmt":"2026-07-30T01:25:11","slug":"more-than-skin-deep-dutch-abuse-victims-erase-forced-tattoos-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/34786\/","title":{"rendered":"More than skin deep: Dutch abuse victims erase forced tattoos"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dutchwoman Joke winces as lasers crackle over her skin, removing one of the 250 tattoos her abusive partner scrawled all over her body and face, anywhere he believed another man had touched her. The 53-year-old is one of hundreds helped by Rotterdam-based foundation Spijt van Tattoo (\u201cTattoo Regret\u201d), which offers victims free laser treatment and is poised to expand internationally. Joke (pronounced Yo-Ke) suffered years of abuse, locked in caravans and sheds, and forcibly tattooed at home with a tattoo gun until virtually no area of her body was ink-free.<\/p>\n

He daubed his name on her face more than a dozen times, on her forehead, nose, cheeks, chin, even her eyelids. Even when she escaped, the physical reminders of his cruelty were clear for all to see, making Joke feel ashamed and stigmatized, afraid to step outside. \u201cEveryone looks at you and insults you. Saying you\u2019re stupid, you\u2019re crazy. And you have nothing, nothing at all. You feel so small,\u201d Joke told AFP. Then, through Veilig Thuis (\u201cSafe at Home\u201d), a national organization helping victims of domestic abuse, Joke was referred to Spijt van Tattoo — the first step on a long and painful journey.<\/p>\n

Over two and a half years, Joke has endured 12 laser sessions to scrub the ink from her face. The pain is so intense, a plastic surgeon is needed to anaesthetise her face. Now, with the help of make-up, the tattoos on her face are barely visible and Joke says she has her life back. \u201cIt hurts like hell,\u201d she said. \u201cYou need so much strength to get all of this removed … But you cannot imagine how happy it makes you. I could never have imagined it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She battled suicidal thoughts for 18 months but said that removing her abuser\u2019s name from her face has \u201cliberated\u201d her, giving her a more positive outlook on life. \u201cI can be happy with anything. If the weather is nice, great. Even if it\u2019s raining, I feel cosy inside. Everything makes me happy now.\u201d \u201cIt gives you hope. And hope keeps you alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Joke<\/p>\n

Joke sits as a doctor erases her tattoos with a laser at a specialized clinic in Rotterdam.<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Joke<\/p>\n

Joke removes the makeup that hides the remnants of tattoos on her face, during the process of having them removed.<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Joke<\/p>\n

Joke shows the tattoos on her leg, during the process of having them removed at a specialized clinic in Rotterdam.<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Joke<\/p>\n

Joke sits as a doctor erases her tattoos with a laser at a specialized clinic in Rotterdam.<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Joke<\/p>\n

Joke poses with a photo of herself taken before she began the tattoo removal process at a specialized clinic in Rotterdam.<\/p>\n

\u2018Reclaiming my life\u2019 <\/p>\n

Bonnie, whose name AFP has changed to protect her identity, was only 17 when she met her ex, who quickly became abusive and controlling. Five years later, on his birthday, he said he wanted a twisted present, dragging Bonnie to a tattoo parlor to inscribe \u201cproperty of\u201d and his name just above her genitals. She tried in vain to signal to the tattooist that she was not consenting, but the domineering presence of her ex ensured the operation took place. The humiliation did not stop there. Bonnie returned home to find several of her partner\u2019s friends in the living room. She was forced to show everyone the freshly inked tattoo.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was very proud. I belonged to him. And I was now his property. And I would remain his property,\u201d the 42-year-old told AFP. \u201cAnd all I felt was sadness, humiliation, fear, disgust … The pride that shone from his eyes. I belonged to him. And never again to anyone else. I have never felt so horrible, so dirty.\u201d Bonnie endured more than a decade of abuse, death threats, promises to kidnap her children. When the man started to hit her son, she decided she had to leave.<\/p>\n

She said those who have never suffered such a relationship cannot understand how difficult it is to escape. \u201cThey threaten you. They manipulate you. They drive you crazy to the point that you start doubting yourself. That you can\u2019t do anything anymore. That you\u2019re worthless. They make you so small,\u201d she told AFP. Unlike Joke, who decided very quickly to remove her tattoos, Bonnie came to that painful decision after several years. She first considered cover-up but realized the text and ink would still be there. \u201cThen my body would still feel like a part of him, and it\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n

For a time, she could not even shower as she could not bear to look at her body and the tattoo. \u201cI felt my body was so dirty that I didn\u2019t want to clean it anymore. Because you carry all those years with you,\u201d she said. Like Joke, the process of removing the tattoo has formed part of her recovery. \u201cI\u2019m very proud of myself for taking that step,\u201d said Bonnie. \u201cFor me, it is the first step towards closing one of the most painful chapters of my life. \u201cIt is a step towards freedom, healing, reclaiming my own body, reclaiming my life, and finding myself again without shame.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018So extreme\u2019 <\/p>\n

The driving force behind the foundation is charismatic husband-and-wife team Andy and Dex Han, who have been in the tattoo removal business for 30 years. In 2018, they decided to devote one day per week to pro bono work, removing forced tattoos from victims of domestic abuse or other coercive behavior. Projects range from erasing an initial on a finger to sex trafficking victims whose \u201cloverboy\u201d has tattooed his name on their forehead. But even hardened professional Andy Han said he was shocked when he first saw Joke.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve seen a lot, but this was so extreme. I didn\u2019t know where to look. Her chest, her face, her eyes, her nose, everything was covered with his name. I didn\u2019t know where to start,\u201d said the 64-year-old. There were also financial issues. Removing a tattoo costs ten times more than getting one and depends on surface area.<\/p>\n

Joke had so much ink on her face that just one session would cost the same as a whole year of pro bono work, Han calculated. By the time his work with Joke has finished, it will have cost around 100,000 euros. A crowdfunding campaign for her has raised more than 30,000. But the couple decided they had to help, no matter the cost.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe said, listen, it\u2019s also someone\u2019s daughter. Someone\u2019s sister, someone\u2019s friend. And she has no life. We have to help her,\u201d Han told AFP. \u201cWhen you see the before and after pictures, it\u2019s extraordinary. Also in her personality,\u201d he said. The couple have already expanded beyond Rotterdam to The Hague and Amsterdam and plan to open an operation in Cape Town to help former gang members.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the townships, when you have the tattoos all over your face and on your arms, you can\u2019t leave the hood. They shoot you or they stab you. They kill you if you are in the wrong neighborhood,\u201d he said. \u201cThey need this too because then you can help people change their lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018Don\u2019t be afraid\u2019 <\/p>\n

Han believes the dozens of requests and referrals he receives are just the tip of the iceberg. Kylianne Teuben, a behavioral scientist who works for Veilig Thuis, said that forced tattooing, like many other forms of domestic violence, is hard to detect because the evidence can be \u201chidden beneath the clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n

She urged anyone who finds themself in such a situation to seek help — \u201cplease come out otherwise we can\u2019t help you.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s important that they know that they are not alone and that there is help. So, try to seek help when you are ready. There are organizations that help,\u201d said Teuben. Both Joke and Bonnie voiced the same message — get out, no matter how hard this seems.<\/p>\n

\u201cEasier said than done, I know that very well myself … but don\u2019t be afraid,\u201d said Bonnie when asked what her message was to other women in her position. \u201cIf you can stay in such a relationship for so long, you are an incredibly strong person. So then you are also strong enough to step out of it and choose yourself.\u201d \u201cBecause it\u2019s about your life. And you only have one life,\u201d she said, her voice trembling with emotion. Joke said she was speaking out about her experiences to encourage other women to leave abusive relationships. \u201cJust do it. It can\u2019t get any worse than where you are now,\u201d she said. \u201cYou can do it. You\u2019re not weak. He\u2019s weak. \u201cAnd every woman can do this. Women are strong.\u201d – AFP<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dutchwoman Joke winces as lasers crackle over her skin, removing one of the 250 tattoos her abusive partner…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":34787,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[2571,816,22639,22640,10654,10653,41,22641,3918],"class_list":["post-34786","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-rotterdam","tag-abuse","tag-dutch","tag-erase","tag-forced","tag-kuwait-news","tag-kuwait-times","tag-rotterdam","tag-tattoos","tag-victims"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34786","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34786"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34786\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34786"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34786"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/netherlands\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34786"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}