{"id":26843,"date":"2026-05-10T14:31:08","date_gmt":"2026-05-10T14:31:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/26843\/"},"modified":"2026-05-10T14:31:08","modified_gmt":"2026-05-10T14:31:08","slug":"on-s-n-l-brett-kavanaugh-kash-patel-and-pete-hegseth-walk-into-a-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/26843\/","title":{"rendered":"On \u2018S.N.L.\u2019, Brett Kavanaugh, Kash Patel and Pete Hegseth Walk Into a Bar"},"content":{"rendered":"

For Matt Damon, it\u2019s been nearly eight years since his surprise appearance in a 2018 \u201cSaturday Night Live\u201d opening sketch<\/a> where he gave a memorable (and petulant) impersonation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh, who was then in the midst of his confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court.<\/p>\n

For Aziz Ansari, it\u2019s been only one week<\/a> since he popped up at the start of an \u201cS.N.L.\u201d broadcast to play the F.B.I. director, Kash Patel.<\/p>\n

This week, both actors were back, reprising their roles in the cold open that kicked off this weekend\u2019s episode, which was hosted by Damon and featured the musical guest Noah Kahan.<\/p>\n

The sketch found Colin Jost, in his recurring role as the defense secretary, Pete Hegseth, at a Washington bar. After asking a bartender played by Kenan Thompson for his usual, a \u201creverse Irish car bomb\u201d (a shot of beer with a pint of whiskey dropped into it), Jost said he was glad to have a getaway \u201cwhere I\u2019m not going to run into anyone from work, because none of Trump\u2019s people like drinking as much as I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWrong!\u201d shouted Damon, entering the scene as Kavanaugh. He, too, had a standing drink order: \u201cI find in favor of six Bud Lights and three shots of Jame-o,\u201d he said. (\u201cA 6-3 decision,\u201d Thompson replied.)<\/p>\n

The men greeted each other, and Jost asked if he had accidentally included Damon in a Signal chat, tipping him off to his location. \u201cNo,\u201d Damon answered, \u201cI just saw all the women covering their drinks.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two boasted about their accomplishments at work: \u201cDude, can you believe I just like started a war?\u201d Jost said.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you believe I ended abortion?\u201d Damon replied. \u201cYour body, my choice.\u201d He added, \u201cYou knew I\u2019d do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jost assured Damon that the war in Iran was \u201ctotally chill,\u201d saying, \u201cIt\u2019s like me at a DWI check point. It completely blew over.\u201d<\/p>\n

Damon, meanwhile, lamented what he said, in a breaking voice, was the real fight: \u201cthe war against male loneliness,\u201d adding, \u201cI just wish there were more people in this administration who could really hang.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ansari made his entrance here, shouting, \u201cDoes this bar take Kash?\u201d<\/p>\n

He showed off a bottle of his personalized bourbon, explaining, \u201cSomehow this is a real thing that I, the F.B.I. director, have made<\/a>. This is real.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ansari added that he brings his own liquor because he\u2019s often mistaken for a child with a fake ID. \u201cThey say, \u2018Oh, no adult would make this face in official photos,\u2019\u201d he said before flashing a wide-eyed stare at the cameras.<\/p>\n

Damon said he had a secret to share with the group \u2014 that Trump would be allowed to \u201cdo a third term,\u201d quelling any concerns that this would be unconstitutional.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrump found the original Constitution,\u201d Damon said, \u201cand at the end, he wrote \u2018Psych!\u2019 We\u2019re gonna live forever!\u201d<\/p>\n

Alas, this week\u2019s episode did not continue the longstanding Mother\u2019s Day tradition of having the cast members pay in-person tributes to their moms during the host\u2019s monologue. (As Damon explained, a segment was planned for this year \u201cbut then Spirit Airlines shut down.\u201d)<\/p>\n

But moms, you were not forgotten: Damon used part of his monologue to record a flirty, all-purpose greeting that could be given as a last-minute Mother\u2019s Day gift. He also appeared as himself in a fake trailer for \u201cMom: the Movie,\u201d a film designed to be perfectly calibrated for mothers. (By having no conflict or tension and being mostly about a mother\u2019s three adult children happily moving back home to live with her.) Plus it has Ashley Padilla as the mother, which makes it worth staying awake for the 23-minute portion designed to keep mothers engaged before they dropped off to sleep and the movie disintegrated into plotless nonsense.<\/p>\n

Weekend Update jokes of the week<\/p>\n

Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on recent events including the meeting between Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Pope Leo XIV, and the hantavirus outbreak on a cruise ship.<\/p>\n

Weekend Update has run hot and cold with its desk-side segments this season, but this particular episode contained an embarrassment of riches: Jeremy Culhane brought back his Tucker Carlson impersonation to give conspiratorial comments on the Met Gala, the state of Maine and the HBO series \u201cEuphoria\u201d) (\u201cNo,\u201d he said, \u201cI\u2019m not talking about the feeling I get when I press 1 for English.\u201d). Jane Wickline sang a song about being young and proudly having the right to be late for things. And Mikey Day and Marcello Hern\u00e1ndez played two kamikaze dolphins, with explosives strapped to their chests, who may or may not be deployed against Iranian battleships by the U.S. government. \u201cYou guys can sink any type of boat?\u201d a fascinated Jost asked them. \u201cLike, let\u2019s say, a ferry that\u2019s a huge financial drain on its owners<\/a>?\u201d<\/p>\n

Happy Mother\u2019s Day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"For Matt Damon, it\u2019s been nearly eight years since his surprise appearance in a 2018 \u201cSaturday Night Live\u201d…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":26844,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[14705,14706,13039,16428,8,1602,9,14702,1529,7],"class_list":{"0":"post-26843","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-top-stories","8":"tag-ansari","9":"tag-aziz","10":"tag-comedy-and-humor","11":"tag-damon","12":"tag-headlines","13":"tag-matt","14":"tag-news","15":"tag-saturday-night-live-tv-program","16":"tag-television","17":"tag-top-stories"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@news\/116550767954720048","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26843","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26843"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26843\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26844"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26843"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26843"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26843"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}