{"id":65210,"date":"2026-05-10T19:13:39","date_gmt":"2026-05-10T19:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/people\/65210\/"},"modified":"2026-05-10T19:13:39","modified_gmt":"2026-05-10T19:13:39","slug":"snl-cold-open-kavanaugh-hegseth-and-patel-bond-over-drinks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/people\/65210\/","title":{"rendered":"SNL Cold Open: Kavanaugh, Hegseth and Patel Bond Over Drinks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Matt Damon\u2019s Brett Kavanaugh, Colin Jost\u2019s Pete Hegseth and Aziz Ansari\u2019s Kash Patel<\/a> bonded over drinks together in tonight\u2019s \u201cSaturday Night Live\u201d<\/a> cold open, with Damon\u2019s Supreme Court justice proclaiming, \u201cWe\u2019re gonna live forever!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nice to have my sneaky bar here where I\u2019m not going to run into anyone from work, because none of Trump\u2019s people like drinking as much as I do,\u201d Jost\u2019s Secretary of Defense asserted at the top of the segment. Right on cue, Damon\u2019s Kavanaugh then came roaring excitedly into frame.<\/p>\n

\u201cPistol Pete! I kind of figured I was gonna find you here,\u201d Damon\u2019s Kavanaugh said, prompting Jost\u2019s Hegseth to worriedly ask, \u201cOh, did I include you on a Signal chat by accident?\u201d Fortunately (?), Damon\u2019s Supreme Court judge was quick to assure him, \u201cNo, no, I just saw the women covering their drinks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I just say? We are both kicking ass right now!\u201d he added, to which Jost\u2019s Secretary of Defense concurred, \u201cRight!?! Dude, can you believe I just, like, started a war<\/a>?\u201d Damon\u2019s Kavanaugh replied, \u201cCan you believe I ended abortion? Hey! Your body, my choice!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wish there were more people in this administration who could really hang,\u201d the Supreme Court justice later remarked, only for FBI Director Kash Patel (Ansari, reprising the \u201cSNL\u201d role for the second straight week) to loudly announce himself, asking, \u201cDoes this bar take caaaash!?!\u201d<\/p>\n

You can watch tonight\u2019s \u201cSNL\u201d cold open yourself below.<\/p>\n

A Secretary of War, a Supreme Court Justice, and an FBI Director walk into a bar pic.twitter.com\/yGACw2vf4e<\/a><\/p>\n

\t\u2014 Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) May 10, 2026<\/a> <\/p>\n

\u201cGuys, check this out. I made my own FBI bourbon with my name on it!\u201d Ansari\u2019s Patel proudly revealed, unveiling a custom alcohol bottle that intentionally looked like the one the real-life FBI Director<\/a> has reportedly been giving out as gifts. \u201cYes, somehow this is a real thing that I, the FBI director, has made. This is real!\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cI bring my own alcohol to bars because sometimes they think I\u2019m a kid with a fake ID,\u201d Ansari\u2019s Patel explained, telling his fellow Trump appointees, \u201cBut seriously, we\u2019re all living the American dream. I\u2019m the first person in my family to go to college\u2026 parties many years after graduating.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSince we\u2019re opening up, can I tell you guys something top secret? We\u2019re gonna let Trump do a third term,\u201d Damon\u2019s Kavanaugh subsequently confided, brushing aside Hegseth\u2019s comment about a third term being unconstitutional. \u201cIt was! But Trump found the original Constitution and at the end, he wrote, \u201cSike!\u2019 We\u2019re gonna live forever!\u201d<\/p>\n

The \u201cSNL\u201d cold open then ended with Damon\u2019s Kavanaugh, Jost\u2019s Hegseth and Ansari\u2019s Patel all jumping up and down and singing \u201cTubthumping\u201d by Chumbawamba together straight to camera.<\/p>\n

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Olivia\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n

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