With anywhere up to 40,000 Brits emigrating to Spain annually from the UK, plenty of UK citizens prefer a life in the sunshine. 78-year-old May*, based in Cambridgeshire, is one of them. The retired receptionist is planning a new life in Spain after losing her husband of 50 years, Les, in 2023.
But as a grandparent, it hasn’t been easy to step away from family life. She shares how things have taken a turn for the worse after she shared her news with her three children and four grandchildren.
It’d be nice if they could find a little bit of happiness for me after everything I’ve done over the last 50 years. My eldest daughter is 50, my middle son is 48 and my youngest son is 45. I’ve spent my whole adult life pretty much raising them and being there for them and their children, and yet when I told them my plans to move to Spain they said I was being selfish.
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Six easy swaps to increase your fibre intake
We asked the experts why it’s so important to include enough fibre in our diets, and how to do it without totally overhauling our diets…
Why fibre is important
Fibre isn’t a fad nutrient. It’s been consistently linked to better health outcomes for decades. Unlike protein, which the majority of people already get enough of, fibre is something most of us (96 per cent) are significantly lacking.
NICHOLA LUDLAM-RAINE, SPECICIALIST REGISTERED DIETITIAN AND AUTHOR
The small diet tweaks to make
Beans, lentils and chickpeas are fibre powerhouses, with around 6-8g per half-tin. If you find beans tricky to digest, start with microdosing them for a week and gradually build it up to half a can at a time.
Bread is the category of food that is most thrown away, survey finds (d3sign
Provider: Getty Images)
Caption: Green vegetable salad with chickpea, spinach, cucumber, red onions, and greens on a wooden table. Top view
Photographer: Qwart
Provider: Getty Images/iStockphoto
Source: iStockphoto
One of the simplest changes you can make is to switch to wholegrain versions of everyday carbs. Swapping two slices of white bread for wholemeal adds around 3g of fibre.
How to add fibre to your diet
When you cook potatoes the right way they go from being a health burden to a health hero (Photo: Getty)
Keep some skin
The skin of some foods can contain up to 50 per cent of the total fibre. Just make sure it’s safe to eat.
Level up the snacks
Berries, raw vegetables with hummus, or a small handful of nuts are all easy fibre wins.
Yoghurt and frozen berry crunch in a glass jar – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Breakfast cereals can be swapped out for overnight oats (Photo: Jogy Abraham/ Getty Images)
Don’t skip seeds
Ludlam-Raine adds a spoon of mixed seeds to porridge, cereal, yoghurts, soups and salads.
EASY WAYS TO ADD FIBRE TO YOUR DIET
Add in, don’t take away
Plant-Based Anti-Inflammatory Diet Ingredients Flat Lay – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
A few extra handfuls of fibre-rich ingredients might be all that’s needed to take your meals from average to fibre-full.
Small changes are key because they’re more sustainable and better tolerated by the gut. Increasing fibre too quickly can cause bloating or discomfort.
One in four people in the UK is living with mould and/or damp in their home…
David Prince, a leading damp surveyor who travels across the country treating mould, spends the day with The i Paper writer Eleanor Peake.
Surveyor David Prince warns people are being overcharged by rogue companies for unnecessary treatment (Photo: Teri Pengilley)
The UK
Britain’s damp problem is one of the worst in Europe.
45%
Private renters are disproportionately affected, with 45 per cent currently battling symptoms of damp.
30%
From 2015 to 2024, British winters were 16 per cent wetter than in previous years.
By 2070, UK winters are projected to be up to 30 per cent wetter.
The house I visited with David Prince – a private rental
Renters are desperate for a resolution to their ongoing damp issue.
David notes that although the bathroom has an extractor fan, the room wasn’t being ventilated efficiently.
The hot air from the bathroom was floating towards the coldest part of the building (the bedroom) and turning into water as it hit the cold bedroom walls.
This was an internal ventilation issue, other houses have an external issue. When the guttering is overgrown the water has to go somewhere else, sometimes seeping back into the brick.
The houses most at risk
Victorian terraces, or those built in the 1910s, are more likely to have rising damp – where the water seeps through the foundation of the house.
Caption: David Prince, Director of Abbott Property Care Ltd.
For a feature on damp by Eleanor Peake, Senior Features Writer at The i Paper.
Photographer: Teri Pengilley
Provider: Teri Pengilley / The i Paper
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Caption: David Prince, Director of Abbott Property Care Ltd.
For a feature on damp by Eleanor Peake, Senior Features Writer at The i Paper.
Photographer: Teri Pengilley
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Source: Teri Pengilley
Modern houses are often built with concrete ring beams, one of the coldest materials to build with. The damp turns to condensation just by hitting the walls.
Damp specialists
Caption: Eleanor Peake, Senior Features Writer at The i Paper, meets David Prince, Director of Abbott Property Care Ltd, to examine the issue of damp in rental properties.
Photographer: Teri Pengilley
Provider: Teri Pengilley / The i Paper
Source: Teri Pengilley
Only a small number of damp specialists – around 250 – are registered with the Property Care Association (PCA) in the whole of the UK.
This means that a majority of people in the UK are receiving quotes and recommendations about damp from building surveyors who aren’t qualified to give a diagnosis, says Prince.
The golden rules for managing damp
The most common issues can be solved by simple tweaks.
Start with the outside. When it’s raining, have a walk around your building to see if the gutters are pouring water down the wall, or water is being trapped in some way.
Make sure you have good ventilation in key wet rooms: kitchen, bathroom, utility, and toilets.
Open all your windows every day for a short period of time to force natural ventilation – even on cold days.
Never place furniture, or even pictures, on an external wall if it suffers from mould. It helps retain moisture.
Woman awaking after sleeping well in a nice sleeping room. – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
SLEEP
How to reset your sleep
Irregular sleep has been linked with poorer cardiovascular health, metabolic disruption, inflammation and mood imbalances.
If your sleep has fallen out of whack, this is what the experts recommend.
From personalised ‘sleep windows’ to unhelpful bedtime routines.
Consistency in bedtimes
It helps the brain feel safer and more predictable around sleep, which is important for people with insomnia. When sleep and wake times are consistent, that clock stays well aligned. When sleep timing is all over the place, the body clock becomes confused…
dr ZOE GOTTS, CONSULTANT CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST AT THE LONDON SLEEP CENTRE
Couple sleeping in bed – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
The changes to make
Sleep tourism in hotel. Exhausted woman sleeps sweetly in bed in the morning – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Find your sleep window
When do you naturally start to feel tired? Aim to allow your body to sleep within that timeframe most nights.
Wake at the same time
Pick a wake-up time you can stick to and anchor everything around that, says Dr David Garley, sleep expert.
Sleep doesn’t have to be so complicated (Photo: Olga Pankova/Getty)
Caption: TOPSHOT – NASA’s Artemis II Space Launch System (SLS) rocket is seen at sunrise at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida on April 1, 2026. On Wednesday three men and one woman are set to embark on the first crewed journey to the Moon since 1972, a landmark odyssey that aims to launch the US into a new era of space exploration. The NASA mission dubbed Artemis 2 has been years in the making after facing repeated setbacks, but is finally scheduled to take off from Florida as early as April 1 at 6:24 pm (2224 GMT). (Photo by Gregg Newton / AFP via Getty Images)
Photographer: GREGG NEWTON
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Get out into sunlight
Exposing yourself to daylight soon after waking helps to sync your circadian rhythm, says Dr Garley.
How to reset your sleep
Regulate your nervous system
Many people are running on exhaustion but still in a state of high alert, so might not be able to rest when needed, says Dr Gotts.
Gentle routines, reduced evening stimulation, and calming the body can make a huge difference.
Sleep tourism in hotel. Exhausted woman sleeps sweetly in bed in the morning – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Senior bed woman problem pain headache home elderly mature pain bedroom upset unhappy female caucasian adult relationship retirement old difficulty ache head sick migraine hangover sleep – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Don’t spend too long in bed
If you cannot sleep within 20 minutes, get out of bed, ideally out of the bedroom, and find a relaxing and distracting activity to do while you wait for the natural urge to return.
The tweaks to make to reset sleep
(Photo: AzmanL/Getty/E+)
Look at your bedtime
Don’t presume earlier to bed (ie. more time in bed) equals better sleep. The timing needs to fit you.
It might mean going to bed later
Set an alarm to anchor the wake-up time, then choose a bedtime that allows you to fall asleep easily and aim to sleep solidly within that time.
Woman in bed at night having trouble sleeping. – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
A mature woman lies in bed and reads a hardback book – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Don’t overdo it
Too much preparation can increase pressure around sleep so a short and consistent routine is far more effective.
Weight training has a host of benefits, but only if it’s done correctly.
We asked personal trainers the common mistakes that people make when lifting – especially for the first time or early on in their strength journey – and how to avoid them.
Woman lifting barbell with heavy weights in cross training gym – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Priotising weight over form
When the load is too heavy, form usually breaks down, the wrong muscles take over, and the risk of injury goes up. If you can’t control the lowering part of the movement, keep good posture, or move through the full range, you’re compromising.
CELEBRITY TRAINER AND PT AIMEE LONG
The mistakes you could be making
Close up of male athlete gripping heavy green kettlebell during strength training exercise in cross training gym – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Not progressing
If you’re reaching for the same pair of dumbbells each week you’re likely just maintaining muscle, not building.
The wrong trainers
You need adequate support for your ankles, without overly cushioning your arches.
Find the best shoes for you (Photo: Xavier Lorenzo/Getty/Moment RF)
Woman at the Gym – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Not timing your rest
PT Nancy Best’s advice is to take 90 seconds of downtime before picking your weight back up.
Research has found that strength training can help slow bone loss
(Photo: FJ Jimenez/Moment RF
via Getty)
Neglecting recovery
Progress does not happen during the workout itself; it happens afterwards when your body repairs and rebuilds.
Poor sleep, not eating enough calories or protein, or training the same muscles hard every single day can hinder recovery and leave you constantly exhausted, says Long.
Not choosing the right exercises
An effective programme is built around variety.
Ensure your training includes each movement for the upper and lower body.
PT Luke Worthington recommends a push/pull programming.
Upper body push targets the shoulders or chest and upper body pull typically works the back.
Lower body push includes squats and leg press whereas pulls include deadlifts and hinges.
What to do
Perfect the movements before increasing the weight.
Best recommends Nike Metcons or Converse for a flat, stable surface.
Aim to eat 1.4-2g of protein per kilogram of bodyweight if you’re regularly exercising.
When you’re comfortable you can increase the weight, number of sets or reps, or range of motion to progress each lift.
LIFESTYLE
6 min read
The eight biggest mistakes we make
when retiring
Psychologist and author Dr Denise Taylor says we shouldn’t sleepwalk into retirement, nor stop walking, just because everyone else has.
Denise Taylor’s marriage ended at 60 as the structure of the working day faded away (Photo: Mihai Zsigmond)
The mistakes we make when retiring
The man is currently drawing a small defined benefit (DB) pension (Photo: SimpleImages/Getty)
Hoarding money
Many clients tell me their biggest regret was spending too little when they were healthiest and most able to enjoy it.
Planning to rest
Boredom in retirement is misunderstood. It’s rarely about having nothing to do. It’s about having time without meaning.
Naps before 1pm can lead to better cognitive performance in the following hours (Photo: Lord Henri Voton/Getty Images)
Photographer: Lourdes Balduque
Provider: Getty Images
Source: Moment RF
Copyright: Lourdes Balduque
Not mentally preparing
People prepare financially and practically, but don’t do the psychological work of leaving well.
Waiting to plan what’s next
Once the structure of work disappears, people can slip into a narrower way of being. Start sketching out possible paths at least two years ahead. Even rough ideas about what you might want to explore – creative projects, volunteering, learning.
DR DENISE TAYLOR
Denise Taylor has worked with many clients who moved into ‘purposeful’ roles expecting to feel better, only to be more depleted than before
(Photo: Ilona Gierach)
Common mistakes she sees
‘I know it’s a minor thing but it makes me feel unheard and ignored’ (Photo: PonyWang/Getty)
Not preparing as a couple
Discuss how much time you want together, and what kind of lives you’re moving towards, rather than assuming it will naturally align.
Trying to stay busy
Without noticing what drains your energy, activity becomes a way of bypassing the deeper adjustment.
Remember to care for your lawn (Photo: RHS / Tim Sandall)
Senior bed woman problem pain headache home elderly mature pain bedroom upset unhappy female caucasian adult relationship retirement old difficulty ache head sick migraine hangover sleep – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Treating it as an ending
People can find themselves psychologically stranded. Days begin to blur into one another.
Retiring because everyone else is
For a generation raised to expect retirement at a certain age, default timing can feel normal.
The timing is personal.
Portrait of senior man at desktop computer in home office – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
The mistake is retiring without questioning whether that timing actually fits your own life. It ignores your relationship with work, your health and your finances.
Agony Uncle
5 min read
What to do
1For some a gradual shift is best like working fewer days or changing role, slowing down.
2Experiment before you leave. Taking a sabbatical or reducing hours can show you how retirement might feel.
3Prioritise a small number of meaningful anchors: one regular commitment, one place where you feel known and one activity.
4Slow it down psychologically – question default timing, resist expectations and ask yourself what kind of transition you are actually stepping into.
Sir David Attenborough is estimated to have travelled almost two million miles in his career, and has visited 90 countries and all seven continents in his quest to enhance our understanding of nature (Photo: Shirlaine Forrest/WireImage)
SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH
The national treasure has celebrated his centenary
For all the inspiring insight into nature that Sir David Attenborough has given us, he has also shown us how to age well.
Here, Chief Features Writer Kasia Delgado looks into his lifestyle, and the tips he’s shared to live to 100.
Caption: Programme Name: Africa – TX: n/a – Episode: The Future (No. 6) – Embargoed for publication until: n/a – Picture Shows: SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH WITH A THREE MONTH OLD BLIND BLACK RHINO ??? LEWA WILDLIFE CONSERVANCY, KENYA – (C) BBC/David Chancellor – Photographer: David Chancellor
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LOREM IPSUM
Never retiring fully
Putting your feet up is all very well, but it’s very boring, isn’t it?
In the last two years alone, Attenborough has done voiceovers on a number of projects, including Wild London, and a National Geographic Disney film, Ocean.
Although his workload has remained high, he did acknowledge in 2017, that as he ages, he sometimes finds it harder to recall correct words as quickly as he did before.
Improving his diet
In his 90s, Attenborough has cut back on red meat, and begun eating an increasingly vegetarian diet.
Whether as he said, he “simply lost the taste” for meat, or whether it was an environmental or health reason, the NHS advises that eating a lot of red and processed meat increases your bowel cancer risk at any age.
Caption: Fox Cub BBC Wild London 2026 Attenborough Screenshot
Big Read
7 min read
Keeping active
Caption: Sir David Attenborough visits the London Wetland Centre in west London where he launched his new campaign to raise public awareness to help reverse the butterfly decline, urging the public to plant butterfly-friendly flowers in their garden to help reverse declining numbers of the insects.
Photographer: Stefan Rousseau
Provider: PA
Source: PA Archive
Attenborough has previously said he has “never done exercise” in an official capacity.
But he has kept active by going for walks in Richmond, where he lives.
Interviewers who have been to his home have also mentioned him practically skipping down the stairs of his house.
TELEVISION
8 min read
Avoiding becoming isolated
When Sir David’s wife Jane died in 1997, the couple’s adult daughter Susan moved in with her father. He said at the time: “I’m quite used to solitude in the wilds but, no, an empty house is not what I enjoy.”
Caption: TELEVISION PROGRAMMES: THE QUEENS GREEN PLANET
Monday 16th April 2018 on ITV
Sir David Attenborough joins Her Majesty the Queen in the gardens of Buckingham Palace
This unique, landmark documentary follows Her Majesty the Queen and an ambitious legacy project to create a global network of protected forests, spanning the 52 countries of the Commonwealth.
This project, called the Queen’s Commonwealth Canopy, brings together Her Majesty’s deeply held commitment to the Commonwealth and her little-known love of trees.
At the heart of the film is a conversation between the Queen and Sir David Attenborough filmed in the gardens of Buckingham Palace last summer. In a rare opportunity to see the Queen talking informally to Sir David, the conversation ranges from climate change, to conkers and birthday gifts.
The film follows members of the Royal Family involved so far in making the Queen?s Commonwealth Canopy a reality, including Prince Harry planting trees in the Caribbean, and Prince William and his family in Canada’s Great Bear Rainforest.
(c) ITN Productions
For further information please contact Peter Gray
0207 157 3046 peter.gray@itv.com
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Sir David Attenborough during the event marking his 100th birthday today at the Royal Albert Hall (Photo: BBC Studios Natural History Unit/Buckingham Palace)
He’s also been known to respond personally to fan letters and maintain relationships with people who admire him. He has no iPhone or email address and instead prefers to communicate by handwritten letter.
Appreciating small things
It seems to me that the natural world is the greatest source of excitement; the greatest source of visual beauty; the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living
Caption: Veteran broadcaster and naturalist Sir David Attenborough with an Australian bearded dragon after receiving an honorary degree from Queen’s University in Belfast for exceptional services to science and broadcasting.
Photographer: Paul Faith
Provider: PA
Source: PA Archive
Forget lifespan, everyone is focused on extending their healthspan: meaning, the number of years you live in good health
So what tiny tweaks can you make to your daily routine to extend a fulfilled life? Health writer Rosie Fitzmaurice tried some out.
The research
One year
Analysis from the University of Sydney found that getting an additional five minutes of sleep, two minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity and an additional half-serving of vegetables per day could lead to an extra year of life.
A decade
Getting seven to eight hours of sleep each night, more than 40 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise each day and following a healthy diet, were traits associated with almost a decade of additional lifespan.
Daily tweaks to make
Colorful Array of Mixed Beans – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
Daily spoonful of beans
One large study found that an intake of 20g of legumes daily may reduce a person’s risk of dying in any given year by up to eight per cent.
Fibre at breakfast
Most people in the UK eat around 16–18g fibre a day but 30g is recommended.
Caption: Ro??ie Fitzmaurice – fibre maxing.
Photographer: Teri Pengilley
Provider: Teri Pengilley / i news
Source: Teri Pengilley
(Photo: Carlos Gawronski/Getty).
Olive oil shots
One major study found those who ate the most olive oil (more than half a tablespoon a day) had a 19 per cent lower risk of death from any cause.
Daily tweaks to make
4There are benefits to eating an early dinner when we’re insulin sensitive and strolling afterwards to help digestion.
5Vigorous intermittent lifestyle physical activity – rather than structured exercise -ccould reduce the risk of a heart attack.
6Strength training is still important and just 30 to 60 minutes each week is associated with a 10 to 20 per cent lower risk of death.
7Balance training improves neuromuscular co-ordination and proprioception, which are critical for preventing falls.
Rosie puts this to the test
Washing Garbanzon Beans – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
She had a helping of beans daily and loaded her breakfast with nuts, seeds and berries.
Fitzmaurice swapped butter for olive oil, had dinner two hours earlier (around 6pm) and did one-minute bursts of exercise throughout the day.
She also practised her grip strength through dead hangs at the local park and brushed her teeth on one leg to improve balance.
The verdict
I can’t predict the future, but it’s true that making a few microtweaks to my weekly routine have had a surprisingly uplifting effect on my mood. As the world feels so utterly terrifying, taking control of the small things feels like therapy.
ROSIE FITZMAURICE, HEALTH JOURNALIST FOR THE i paper
Caption: Writer Ro??ie Fitzmaurice. Rosie Fitzmaurice
Photographer: Teri Pengilley
Provider: Teri Pengilley / i news
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Is napping an
invaluable part of the day or an unproductive hour?
To find out how to feel better, brighter and bushy-tailed, we asked Russell Foster, a
professor of neuroscience at
the University of Oxford, everything you need to know about napping.
Naps before 1pm can lead to better cognitive performance in the following hours (Photo: Lord Henri Voton/Getty Images)
Caption: A mother and new born baby taking a nap together on the sofa in a quiet but tender moment.
Photographer: Jamie Garbutt
Provider: Getty Images
Source: Stone RF
Copyright: Jamie Garbutt
How long should we nap for?
For Professor Foster, the ideal length of a time for a nap is just 20 minutes and certainly no longer than 30.
“You don’t want to do is fall into deeper sleep, because then recovery from that can leave you groggy,” he says.
Is there an optimum time of day to nap?
Napping too late in the day is warned against.
An early-afternoon nap of around 20 minutes can improve your cognition during the second half of the day.
If you have a nap later on, you can push back your sleep pressure, which means the longer you’ve been awake the greater need for sleep, at night.
As long as you’re getting the sleep that you need to function optimally, that’s the main thing.
Sleep tourism in hotel. Exhausted woman sleeps sweetly in bed in the morning – stock photo. (Photo: Getty)
How much sleep does a person need?
Sleep is like a shoe: one size doesn’t fit all.
Oversleeping on days-off or sustaining your waking day with caffeine and other stimulants are signs of tiredness.
Not everybody needs eight hours of sleep; it’s variable, dynamic and individual. And will vary over a lifetime depending on the season.
Other things to know
It doesn’t matter where you physically nap as long as it feels right and you’re comfortable. You can create the right environment by making it dark, calm or using a smell like lavender.
‘I encourage anyone that is sleepy to take a good nap, guilt free,’ writes Zuva Seven (Photo: Klaus Vedfelt/Getty)
The drug is taken by one in five Americans under 14, but it is only available on prescription in the UK (Photo: ozgurcankaya/Getty)
Generally speaking, napping is probably a metric that you’re not getting the sleep you need at night, says Professor Foster. “But don’t beat yourself up over it. A short nap, if it improves the second half of the day, is fine”.
I wanted to tell them all together, so I got them over for a barbecue last month. But not a single one of them thought my move was a good idea. Chloe*, my daughter, said, “You can’t do that, what about us?” and my son, Eddie*, who has his own children and lives in Cornwall asked where they’d all stay when they came up to visit, before telling me if I went ahead with the “daft” idea I simply had to buy somewhere big enough for them all to come and stay in Spain.
I was shocked to begin with, so I said it was something I was only thinking about, but when they all left, I got more and more cross about their reaction. It felt like they were only all thinking about themselves and not about what might make me happy.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved every second of my life, but it has felt like I’ve spent most of the last five decades worrying about them and then the last decade looking after my grandchildren, including having my grandson, now eight, full-time until he started school three years ago.
None of the children or grandchildren live locally anymore, and they’re all busy with their lives and work. I’m lucky if I see them all a few times a year. My late husband Les and I had a lot of happy memories in Tenerife so I thought it was time for a change and a new start. I live in a four-bedroom house, I don’t need the space anymore yet all of my finances are tied up in bricks and mortar. Downsizing will help me financially as well as give me a new fresh start.
Their reaction has really taken the shine off what was supposed to be a lovely announcement. I’ve dedicated years and decades of my life to them all and not one of them was kind about it.
Les and I didn’t exactly struggle but there wasn’t a huge amount of cash around when the children were growing up. I thought they’d want me to have a bit of an easier existence now they’re all adults and taking care of themselves. I don’t know whether they think I’m going to fritter away their inheritance like some kind of Shirley Valentine character, but their response and selfishness has really upset me. It’s made me think about changing my will.
My other son, Jack*, 45, sent me a message asking a bit more about my plans but he’s still lacking in support despite it being something I think will be really good for me.
I’ve loved being a mum and I adore being a grandmother but it’s like they think I should just sit around waiting until they decide they’re free to come and spend time with me. They’re taking umbrage at the fact I want to plan a future I want to enjoy. I know I’m nearly 80 but I’m in good health and the thought of a move for me makes me feel excited more than it does nervous.
Even my grandchildren haven’t offered support. I’ve looked at one or two-bedroom flats in and around Tenerife, but one of the first questions from my grandchildren, who vary in age between eight and 18, was whether I’d have enough room for them to bring their friends to stay. Again, their response seemed all about them – nothing about being happy for me or whether it was what I really wanted. It’s hard not to feel a bit resentful and like I’ve been taken for granted.
I spoke to Chloe a day or so after the barbecue to try and explain how I was feeling but I was met with upset rather than understanding. I called her to see if she wanted to chat but she said she thought it was a bad idea and that she didn’t think I’d thought it through properly, which I thought was really rude.
She said the family all have happy memories in the house I’m in and that selling it wasn’t the best idea for everyone. She even suggested I’d regret it and be trying to move back to the UK in a few years which I thought was really unkind and totally unsupportive.
It’s like she’s got no respect for the fact I’m trying to make decisions about myself and my future. I’ve spent decades putting the entire family first and the second I make a decision that I want, everyone’s upset. It feels like they all just want me to put them at the top of my priority list and me at the bottom but I’ve done that for enough years and won’t keep doing it. I’m almost 80, it’s not unreasonable that I want to put myself first.
My friendship group have been supportive and I’ve even found groups on social media I can join to make friends when I’m out there: Les and I played bridge a lot and there are bridge groups I could join. Plus, I walk a lot and enjoy being out and about and there are all sorts of retirement groups and communities I can try out. I’ve thought long and hard about it and done a lot of research. But the response from the children is really holding me back and I resent them for that.
They even tried to suggest it’s a bad time to sell the house given the current economic climate. Not a single one of their thoughts was anything about me and how I might feel – everything they thought of was about them all and their wants and ideas and what they might lose out on. I’d never say it to them but I think their dad and grandad would be really disappointed at their selfish opinions.
I’ve spoken to my solicitors and have found a property expert fairly locally to me who helps a lot of Brits buy properties in Spain. I’m planning a trip out there in the next month to have a look at a few shortlisted properties. My estate agent thinks I could be out there by Christmas or New Year if I move on things fast enough. I’m keen to get going.
Les wouldn’t want me to be rattling around bored. You’re never too old for a new adventure, even if the youngsters in my family think I should sit at home with my slippers on all the time. I’m going to do what I want with the rest of my life, and I’m going to spend the money we worked hard to earn. If that means there’s less left for the children and grandchildren, then so be it. They’ve shown me how selfish they can be so maybe I should take a leaf out of their books and just please myself.
*Names have been changed