Credit: Far Out / YouTube Still
Sat 8 August 2026 0:30, UK
Since the top two spots take care of themselves, who’s the third most memorable character that Sylvester Stallone has ever played? No matter the answer, they’re miles behind the undisputed top dogs.
Having brought Rocky Balboa and John Rambo to the screen, Stallone is in the rare position of being one of the few actors who’ve played two of cinema’s most iconic characters, putting him alongside Harrison Ford, who debuted Han Solo and Indiana Jones at around the same time, coincidentally.
Naturally, none of the rest come close. Did you even remember that the guy he played in The Expendables was called Barney Ross? Demolition Man‘s John Spartan might be worth a shout, Cobra‘s Marion Cobretti is up there, Over the Top‘s Lincoln Hawk, maybe, but only because it’s a ridiculous name and a ridiculous movie.
Angelo ‘Snaps’ Provolone likely wouldn’t leap to mind, and you’re entitled to sit there, scratching your head, thinking, “Who the fuck is Angelo ‘Snaps’ Provolone?” After all, not many people bothered to see 1991’s Oscar when it played on the big screen, and it’s hardly been cultivating an audience since.
Having watched his arch-nemesis Arnold Schwarzenegger pivot to comedy without missing a beat, Sly presumed he could do the same thing, which came back to haunt him when the ‘Austrian Oak’ trolled him into making Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, which has to be one of Hollywood’s greatest-ever mind games.
Before that, though, he played Provolone, named after the cheese, yes, in John Landis’ screwball flop, which earned him a Razzie nomination for ‘Worst Director’ to complement Stallone’s ‘Worst Actor’ nod. It’s a terrible, terrible film, but according to the man himself, it was the absolute apex of his career.
“Finally, I am able to do it on film,” he prophesised. “Finally able to put out there what I think I am. I mean, totally. The other ones have been characters, and a part of me. But this thing is me.” That would make sense if he was talking about Rocky Balboa, or John Rambo, but Snaps? Get a fucking grip, mate.
Further reading: Cutting Room Floor
Needless to say, once the dust had settled and the select few who’d suffered through Oscar got a load of the star’s embarrassing first attempt at comedic reinvention, not a single soul would have agreed with him. Knowing how he’s developed the habit of confessing his cinematic sins after the fact, too, Stallone would probably cringe if you reminded him of what he said about Oscar.
He’s been in so many bad films that it’s not even his worst, but as far as hubris goes, calling one of your most disastrous pictures the onscreen embodiment of what you’ve always wanted to be would make Icarus blush.
