Splitting the difference

Most people settle their taxes in April. I used to do a bit of accounting every Sunday morning.

My weekly routine wasn’t with the IRS. Instead, I’d settle up with a hodgepodge of friends I crossed paths with over the weekend. From Uber rides to rounds of drinks to late-night takeout, there was always some combination of debits and credits that needed sorting out through bleary eyes and a throbbing headache.

It’s been a while since I played that game. (Two kids, a move to the suburbs, and being on the wrong side of 30 will do that to you.) But I still thoroughly enjoyed my newsletter colleague Amanda Yen’s piece about Gen Z nickel-and-diming their friends with Venmo requests.

In a lot of ways, I relate to Gen Z’s plight. Early in your career, and especially in this economy, everything feels impossibly expensive. Paying for anything you didn’t specifically agree to can feel like a raw deal.

But everyone has their limits, and for me, that limit is charging a friend 25 cents for eating half an avocado. (Like I said, you have to read Amanda’s story.)

So, Gen Z Venmo veterans, I have some advice.

First, adopt this phrase: It all comes out in the wash.

Yes, there will be times when you get the short end of the stick. When everyone’s ordering vodka seltzers and you’re just ordering seltzers. It happens.

But at some point, the tables will turn. Someone will spot your cover charge at the bar. (Is that even still a thing? Damn, I’m old.) Or buy you a few slices of pizza.

And when you try to pay them back, you’ll hear this glorious phrase: “Let’s just call it even.”

“But Dan,” you say, “I’m ALWAYS getting shafted by these friends.”

In that case, I offer my second piece of advice: Normalize no.

Because if the people you consistently find yourself going out with are the ones taking advantage of you, those aren’t people you should be going out with in the first place. Maybe you just recalibrate how you hang out with them. Maybe you cut them out entirely.

Whatever the case, I’m confident these two rules will leave you with a friend group that doesn’t wreck your finances. And with any luck, as your career progresses and you get some raises, you’ll eventually start having a different argument with friends:

Who gets to pay the bill?