Photos never quite seem to capture our true essence. Either the camera’s playing tricks, or maybe our mirrors don’t show us the real truth – but which is it?
This is why you look bad in photos (but not in the mirror)(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
You checked yourself out before leaving the house – hair done, smart outfit, and the reflection in the mirror giving you that reassuring nod of approval.
Then someone tags you in a photo. Wait – is that what I really look like?
Why is there such a stark difference between how we see ourselves in the mirror and how we appear in photos? Is the camera really that cruel, or has the mirror been lying to us all along?
“We see ourselves in the mirror 99 per cent of the time. We get used to that being the way that we look,” says Kim Ayres, a narrative and portrait photographer based in Castle Douglas, Scotland. “No one has a perfectly symmetrical face, so when you suddenly see your face in reverse, it looks wrong.”
In a group photo, we might feel as though we look ‘worse’ than everyone else. According to Ayres, this is because everybody else looks exactly like we’re expecting them to, except us.
“We end up feeling like we must be the most unphotogenic person in our family, if not the entire world,” Ayres told the Manchester Evening News.
“We part our hair on one side rather than the other, we smile slightly more on one side of our face, we’ve got the pointier eyebrow, the curvier eyebrow – things like this. So if your nose goes 2mm to the left, suddenly it’s 4mm to the right of where you’re expecting it to be – and that makes us feel unsettled,” he explains.
Social media may be fuelling a negative self image(Image: Getty Images)
There’s even a pretty strong psychological underpinning behind this phenomenon.
“Psychologically, we are accustomed to seeing our mirror image, which is a reversed version of our face,” explains Dr William Van Gordon, Chartered Psychologist and Associate Professor of Contemplative Psychology at the University of Derby.
“This familiarity, known as the mere-exposure effect, means we are more likely to prefer our mirror reflection over the non-mirrored image in photos, which can feel jarring or ‘off’ because it’s how others see us,” Dr Van Gordon adds.
Dr Van Gordon spoke to the Manchester Evening News as part of our Science Spotlight series. Each week we chat to a different researcher to answer burning science questions. We’ll shine a light on the wonders that shape our universe, remarkable technology, and the mysteries of the mind and body.
“In mirrors, we see ourselves in real-time, often adjusting our posture or expression to look our best, whereas photos capture a single, static moment that may not reflect our dynamic self-image,” he explains.
While a photo might be closer to how others see us than the reflection we see in the mirror, Ayres says “a photo is never truly going to accurately represent what a person really is like.”
“We see the world in four dimensions, because we move through time, but a photo is a two dimensional photo in a fixed point,” says Ayres. “When you look at yourself in the mirror and turn your head a bit, you form a three dimensional picture of yourself.”
“A photo is not really how we see the world,” he adds.
Does the camera distort my face in photos?
You might be relieved to hear that the camera is sometimes to blame for why you might think you look worse in photos.
“Technically, camera lenses – especially wide-angle lenses in smartphones – can distort facial features, exaggerating elements like the nose or forehead when taken up close, which can feel unflattering. These factors can combine to create a sense that photos don’t capture the ‘real’ us,” explains Dr Van Gordon.
There’s a reason why we look better in the mirror than in photos taken of us(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Our phone cameras can therefore create a distortion, affecting how we might perceive ourselves and others.
“You see people’s selfies on social media and then you see them in real life, and their face seems slightly wider or it doesn’t quite match up properly,” says Ayres, who says the best way to accurately capture your ‘true’ face using a camera is to take the photo from a bit further away, but zoomed in.
Selfies and the digital age
The rise of selfies and visual social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok have “undoubtedly shaped self-perception in the digital age”, says Dr Van Gordon.
“Constant exposure to selfies, often enhanced by filters or editing apps, can create a curated, idealised version of ourselves that can skew expectations of our appearance,” he explains. “Frequent selfie-taking and posting can also increase anxiety, reduce confidence, and lower perceived physical attractiveness, due to people comparing their unfiltered selves to edited images.”
To mitigate these effects and to stop us from unknowingly comparing ourselves to people online, Dr Van Gordon recommends practicing mindfulness – observing our appearance without judgment. Over time, he says doing this will encourage a “healthier relationship with our self-image”.
Looking at other people’s selfies can make us feel bad about ourselves(Image: Getty Images)
For people who tend to avoid photos out of fear they will look bad in them, Ayres says there could be another factor at play.
“There’s another aspect which is more psychological, which is about power relationships,” he explains. “The person holding the phone or camera is the person who has got all the power. They can make you look amazing or they can make you look ridiculous.”
We’ve all had that crushing feeling of seeing a photo of ourselves – that someone else has taken – where we’re mid-blink, or speaking, or standing in unflattering light.
“That image of us then goes out into the world, even though we’re not happy with it,” he says.
Kim Ayres aims to avoid this ‘power imbalance’ in his portrait photography. “I tether the camera to a laptop so they can see what I’m doing as I’m doing it. I show them what happens if they turn their head, or if I move the lighting,” he says.
“I essentially train them to how the camera is responding to them, so they then feel a greater sense of empowerment and that they’re in control of how they look,” he adds. “A good portrait photographer is as much a psychotherapist as they are a photographer.”