William Hanson has regularly shared his thoughts on etiquette, rising to fame on social media with his famous grape scissors and dinner party tips.
Speaking to The Telegraph, Hanson gave his advice on best practices aboard Europe’s most expensive public transport.
All true Londoner’s know this rule, but in case you haven’t, Hanson says that not following this crucial rule will render you one level below a serial killer.
It’s as simple as standing on the right on the escalator, so people walking can pass on the left.
The TfL network is not the place to make friends; stick strictly to conversation with those you know. And even still, keep the chinwag quiet and to a minimum, especially when its crowded, he says.
Do not eat anything smelly
Keep your eyes to yourself. The only occasions where eye contact might be acceptable is in the instance of minor drama: an overkeen busker, a drunk, or an argument amongst other passengers.
In all other instances, the only acceptable places to look are the floor, your phone, or the above-eye level adverts.
Music to be played from headphones only
Another debate that has hit the capital by storm. But, unfortunately for bare beating enthusiasts, Hanson has ruled that you should only enjoy music, podcasts, and videos via your headphones and nothing else.
Keep it moving at the ticket barrier
You can spot a non-Londoner a mile away when they wait for the barriers to close before passing through the barrier.
The professional commuters know that as long as the LED is orange, you can tap and walk straight through.
Of course, then there are the fare dodgers who don’t let anyone or anything stop them from barging through the barriers.
Backpacks should not be worn on your back – hold them in front! Nobody needs your laptop pressing against their face during rush hour.
It goes without saying that seats are not for bags.
Holding the doors open does not make you a hero, says Hanson, but it does make you a pillock of the highest order.
Save yourself the embarrassment and take the next train.