Antony Valori was going through a ‘bad time’ until he acted on a friend’s recommendationAntony feels there is still a stigma around men talking about their feelingsAntony feels there is still a stigma around men talking about their feelings(Image: Antony Valori)

A man says his life was saved after he did the ‘hardest thing he’d ever done’. Antony Valori, 26, Litherland, was in a dark place a few years ago.

Antony had attempted to take his own life but felt unable to share his feelings, fearing that he would be seen as weak. His fortunes began to change when he reluctantly attended a meeting in Liverpool organised by Andy’s Man Club in February 2022.

Andy’s Man Club is a suicide prevention charity offering free to attend peer-to-peer support groups across the UK and online. Three years on, Antony is now the lead facilitator for Andy’s Man Club branches across the north west.

Speaking to the ECHO about his mental health, Andy said: “I was a typical young lad. With men in general but young lads too, we don’t want to admit that we need help or support. We don’t want to be known as being weak.

“You feel that you’re not allowed to feel like this or allowed to cry because that’s embarrassing as well. All of those things were going through my head and I was thinking, ‘I can’t now go into this group and talk about my issues or talk about my problems because it’s not right, we’ve got to be strong as men.’”

Therefore, it took a lot of courage for him to go to the support group. He said: “I walked through the doors of Andy’s Man Club just over three years ago because I was having a really bad time.

Antony initially felt embarrassed to come forwardAntony initially felt embarrassed to come forward(Image: Antony Valori)

“I’d previously tried to take my own life. I’ve gone through dark times through my childhood. Then a friend of mine informed me that there was a place called Andy’s Man Club.

“I went along and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I knew people were there for similar reasons and it was just a place where you could go and get stuff off your chest, so I went to try it out.”

However, Antony’s fears were quickly put at ease. He said: ”You’ve got the facilitators who stand outside and make you feel really welcome. The first time I went, one of them put their arm around me and walked me in.

“You walk into something that you instantly feel like you’re part of a community. It’s like a brotherhood, another family. A lot of people struggle to talk to their own family, but in this environment you just feel like you can’t talk about anything to these people.

“Because it’s people going through similar things and or just struggling in general, it’s just a really safe and non-judgmental space where you can get stuff off your chest. I made up that I went because it genuinely saved my life.”

Antony was soon approached to become a facilitator at the Crosby branch. Now he oversees branches across Merseyside and the north west, including groups in Southport and Runcorn.

Antony Valori is now the lead facilitator for Andy's Man Club branches across the north west. Antony Valori is now the lead facilitator for Andy’s Man Club branches across the north west. (Image: Antony Valori)

Antony didn’t expect to be in this position but wanted to do what he could to help others in similar positions. He said: “It was all just because I wanted to help others. If I can help one man, then I’m doing the right thing. I just want other men to know where to go for these services.”

Antony believes he is in a much better place now thanks to opening up about his feelings. He said: “I’m in a much better place than I was. I still have my struggles, don’t get me wrong. But I’m now in a place where I can vent and talk about those things and I can deal with my issues and my day to day life because I’m talking about it.

”If any men are struggling in the Merseyside area, please do reach out, even if it’s not to us. If you do want to come along, I highly recommend it – as I said earlier, it saved my life so hopefully it can save some other lives in our area.” You can find out more about Andy’s Man Club here.

Mental health support

Helplines and support groups

The following are helplines and support networks for people to talk to, mostly listed on the NHS Choices website

  • Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
  • CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.
  • PANDAS (0808 1961 776) runs a free helpline and offers a support service for people who may be suffering with perinatal mental illness, including prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression plus support for their family or network.
  • Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.
  • PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
  • Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
  • Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
  • Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.
  • Amparo provides emotional and practical support for anyone who has been affected by a suicide. This includes dealing with police and coroners; helping with media enquiries; preparing for and attending an inquest and helping to access other, appropriate, local support services. Call 0330 088 9255 or visit www.amparo.org.uk for more details.
  • Hub of Hope is the UK’s most comprehensive national mental health support database. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text SHOUT to 85258 to find relevant services near you.
  • Young Persons Advisory Service – Providing mental health and emotional wellbeing services for Liverpool’s children, young people and families. tel: 0151 707 1025 email: support@ypas.org.uk
  • Paul’s Place – providing free counselling and group sessions to anyone living in Merseyside who has lost a family member or friend to suicide. Tel: 0151 226 0696 or email: paulsplace@beaconcounsellingtrust.co.uk
  • The Martin Gallier Project – offering face to face support for individuals considering suicide and their families. Opening hours 9.30-16.30, 7 days a week. Tel: 0151 644 0294 email: triage@gallierhouse.co.uk
  • James’ Place – supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/