Former Scotland star Stuart Hogg has revealed in The Rugby Paper how he missed the “camaraderie, the laughs, the buzz” of rugby during his one-year retirement from the game.
The 33-year-old retired from playing in 2023 having finished up at Exeter and then making himself unavailable for the Rugby World Cup.
However, he returned to the pitch a year later, signing for Montpellier in a move that has helped him find comfort following the break-up of his marriage.
“I missed the buzz, the changing room, the banter,” Hogg said. “I missed rugby more than I ever realised. I gave up on my rugby career to try and save my marriage. At the time, I didn’t know who I was.
“I was up to my eyeballs on anti-depressants. I didn’t know what was going on in life, whether I was making people happy or sad. I used alcohol to escape. I was purely existing.
“The Doddie Aid cycle ride from Scotland to Rome changed everything. For the first time since retiring, I felt part of a team again. I came back and told my dad, ‘I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.’
“I missed the camaraderie, the laughs, the buzz. I needed that back. The real downside is being away from my kids and getting the chance to go back and see them regularly. The hope is that they will be able to come out to France and see me.”
From selfishness to strength
Hogg’s divorce was finalised just this week, and he has since been granted an application by Sheriff Peter Paterson for his non-harassment order (NHO) to be relaxed so that he and his ex-wife can keep in touch through a co-parenting app, without third-party aid.
“Things are improving on that front, which I’m grateful for, so things are definitely improving for me and my family. I live 20 minutes from Montpellier, five minutes from the beach. It’s relaxing.
“The players and coaches value me, maybe because I finally value myself. I’m in a better place mentally than I have been in years. I used to think being selfish was strength.
“But I took that too far. I hurt people. Now, I’m learning to be selfless for the right reasons – for my kids, my partner, my team. I know I’ll never be the same Stuart Hogg I once was, but I’m okay with it. I’ve found peace.
“I’m living in the now. Everyone asks about life after rugby. I spent too long worrying about the future. Now I just want to play until I can’t play anymore. Rugby will always be part of my life – 100 per cent.”